Dear Future Boyfriend Part Eleven

As we know men and women speak different languages. We say one thing but we mean another. I realise certain men are predisposed to not notice the important things – which are always little and subtle – and who can blame them. Women can be very confusing. We have ideas in our heads which we understand and which other girls understand. And we just assume that you’ll understand them as well. So we say one thing but we can mean something entirely different. And for that we should apologise.

I don’t us to ever have miscommunication issues. And I know although I think I say what I mean, it doesn’t always translate. So here are some examples for you:

When I Say I Like Bearded Men.

 I mean this

Not this

A rugged manly man is something so delish. A well-trimmed beard and some light stubble shows that you’re just the right amount of strong and yet you still are considerate enough not to leave your lady with beard rash. Anything that you can pull is bad. Like ZZ Top-esque and we’re screaming date rapist.

When I Say I Like Nerdy Guys

I mean this

Not this

 

 

This is one of those scenerios where we *definitely* say something but mean something else entirely. Instead of nerdy guys I should say I like guys who have watched Game of Thrones, read the Lord of the Rings and wear glasses. Also who are a bit shy and sensitive. I really don’t want to have to go to conventions, play Magic the Gathering and listen to you talk about coding.

When I Say I Eat A Lot

I mean this

Not this

I am not a salad girl. I like a salad. On the side of a big steak and chips. I am not exaggerating when I talk about my food addiction. And yes I will finish everything on my plate. Food is my favourite time of day.

When I Say I Like Romance

I mean this

Not this

I like romantic things. Hell I even love Valentine’s day and I’m single. I think if you can show off your love do it. I just prefer simple things like a moonlit picnic or homemade love coupons or anything homemade actually. Things that you’ve learnt or seen from movies are probably not gonna do it for me. Unless it’s a flashmob singing and dancing along to a cheesy love song. That is something big I can get behind. Please don’t offer to wash my hair, fill a room with too many candles or use massage oil when you have no experience of how slippery and messy it really is.

Got it all? 

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

This Was Not The Way I Planned...

I love men. A lot. I love looking at them. I love talking to them and most of all I like doing other stuff with them. Saying that I have to admit I have a huge girl crush.

One of my favourite blogs is Style Guide Cape Town run by the fabulous Robyn Cooke. Profession, Stylist. Given my love for all these beautiful particularly fashion, if I was that way inclined, I would be hanging outside her window with a boombox playing a cheesy 80s love song.

Apart from my love for her blog and her fashion-related tweets, I also have a goal to be photographed by the fabulous Ms Cooke. Her blog is the Cape Town version of The Sartorialist without the pictures of Anna Dello Russo, who bugs me for some reason. It is because of her blog and also Glamour’s Do and Don’ts that I make a huge effort whenever I leave the house. It is a very superficial dream but one day I hope to appear on her blog with her gushing over my outfit.

This past Tuesday was when it almost happened. Myself, Dexter and the Social Butterfly descended upon Woolworths Cavendish for a preview of the summer fashions. Travelling with two coiffed, well-dressed, nice-smelling gays is the one way to do it. The Best of Summer Preview was hosted By Ms Cooke and someone from Egoli, my mom would have been so mad I didn’t get a picture with her. Towards the end of the evening (white dresses, hats and feminine blouses are going to be all the rage, orange too) I had an opportunity to have an audience with my girl crush. Unfortunately she turned the other way and the moment was gone. That was when Dexter pushed me towards her and by chance she turned around and commented on my dress*. I almost fainted. Unfortunately she didn’t have a camera with her but I still gushed about my love for her. She didn’t seem scared which was a good thing. Nothing kills a party like security throwing you out. She also invited me to be her stalker. What an honour! I can see it now, she is taking pictures of stylish people, I am taking pictures of her from the bushes.

I know I sound like a crazy person. But that is only because I am. Crazy in love :)

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

*I was rocking a blue Marion and Linde jersey dress with chocolate brown boots, neutral makeup and glossy lips.