Dear Future Boyfriend Part Nine

As you will soon find out about me, I take personal hygiene and style very importantly. I'm of the belief that feeling good doesn't necessarily start from the inside. In fact when I have my hair did, my nails painted and I smell ah-mazing I believe I run this world (I also have Beyonce on repeat).

Because I feel like this, I stupidly assumed so did everyone else. That bubble burst very quickly. Now as my journey to you is littered with men and boys sadly of a lesser-quality I have learnt that some males need a little help in the grooming department. I'm not saying you're one of them *but* just in case, I have jotted down some notes on styling I think you should know.

*Wash daily. A human basic you'd think but I have smelt enough men to know this is not the case.

*If you're gonna rock facial hair, you need to be serious. Make sure you know what you're working with and then take care of it. No girl wants to walk around with a guy who is sporting three errant hairs on his chin. If you take care of your hair, I'll take care of mine. Know what I'm saying!

*Wash your hair often. I'm not saying daily because it might not be able to handle it. But ensure it's clean. In my opinion very few women like the Robert Pattinson grease-ball look and even less of those women want to shag him.

*Further to that point, there is no thing as 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. Whatever you knew about it before, forget it. it does not exist. If you cannot afford salon products, get your ass down to the pharmacy and just buy something legit. Nothing keeps those legs closed like a 2-in-1 combo.

*At this point in your life, you're a grown-ass man, not a pubescent horny teenage who bought into advertising. Stop using Axe. You can afford to get a really nice cologne or EDT, do it. Trust me on this, girls LOVE a man who smells nice. Personally I heart Cool Water for him and Boss Bottled, in case you were wondering ;)

*Fix your hands and feet. This should be a no-brainer but some boys are so oblivious. Feet are a serious dealbreaker. Hands I'm more relaxed about. Mainly because I walk around with chipped nailpolish all too often. But seriously if you're gonna be running your hands through our hair or doing other ahem stuff, make sure your digits are neatly filed and clean.

*Soap is not skincare.

*Very few men can pull off hats. I want to believe you're one of them. If you're not, bow out gracefully.

*I just want to touch lightly on clothing. It took me awhile to find out what works for my body so if you're still figuring out what it is, I won't hate on you. I will say hell to the no to the following: Crocs, denim shorts, silky boxers, sports shirts on any day that isn't match day, polo necks, socks with holes, vests unless under a shirt, combat pants, chunky boots, cartoon ties and mesh anything.

Just remember, despite all of this and contrary to what it seems like, I will love you for who you are.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Dermalogica's Pamper Party

WARNING: This post contains a lot of self-portrait pictures. Mainly to show what went down on the night. Also I had to leave early so there are various steps in the process I missed out on. And if you think I'm gushing a lot about the products here is why.*

Last week Thursday I was invited to a blogger's pamper party at the Dermalogica store at Wembley Square. The event was organised by the fabulous Leozette (go check out her blog here) from Red Carpet Concepts. I, along with some of my favourite lady bloggers in Cape Town, were greeted with flutes of champers, had our way with amazing snacks and then the pampering began.

Leozette, Leigh from Lipgloss Is My Life, Clouds from And Lollipops and Karisa from My Love Affair with Cape Town. I look like I've been Photoshopped in at the last minute.

All of us had a little consultation with the beauty therapists from Dermalogica (sidenote, where are all the ugly, plump therapists hiding? seriously I've only ever seen the gorgeous, skinny ones). They examined our skin and performed a Face Mapping consultation. This is where each area of your face is divided into zones so they can analyze each section and problem area instead of  just your face in general. This is great when trying to treat different problems in different areas like my dehydrated forehead and or congested chin as I was so lovingly informed.

Once we knew what we were dealing with, we took a seat the party table and got to work. (Sidenote, you can book your own pamper party for R100 per person. That includes champers, snacks, Face Mapping, advice from a trained therapist, the Dermalogica products to use for your facial and a goodie bag). We started with the Pre-Cleanse which at first sounded like way too much work. Can you imagine coming home at 3 in the morning and having to not only wash off your make-up but wash it off twice. Nevertheless I used it and have to admit it helps a lot. Bugger.

After cleansing, the second time and a bit begrudgingly, we moved onto exfoliating. I used the magic that is the Daily Microfoliant whilst Clouds and Karisa used the Daily Resurfacer. Look at that cute finger glove.

Next up masks. Apparently after very exfoliation you need to do a mask.Whoops a daisy. That could explain some of my dryness. I was given two masks. The first was the Multivit one which I applied everywhere except my chin. on my chin I used the Skin Hydrating Mask. And don't they both make for some fabulous faces.

This is the part where I had to rush off. So I sped up the process. I cleaned off my mask and slapped on some moisturiser. As I had to go somewhere else, I was worried my face would be all red and scary. I was very happy to see that it was nothing of the sort and that it even had a glow. I know how that sounds but I've dealt with acne and bad skin for years so small victories.

Then the best thing happened. I was given some tinted moisturiser. Normally I'm not a fan as I never seem to get the right shade and it always feels heavy. But then again i hadn't tried Dermalogica. It was light, there were no streaks and it felt more like a moisturiser rather than a foundation. And the result, voila! That is a mother-effin' glow people.

Before I left I was given a lovely goodie bag with the samples to try out and some mini products. They definitely put the rest of my beauty cabinet to shame. We also got an energy drink and some Lindt balls which never even saw the light of day.

Thanks again to Red Concepts and Dermalogica for a fabulous evening. As I mentioned you can book your own party. They last for about 2.5 to 3 hours and include all the above. You can contact Red Concepts for more deets.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

*Now, here's the thing, I used to work in a beauty salon. So I know a fair amount of Dermalogica. I used to use their Multivitamin Power Recovery Masque and I was a huge fan of their Medicated Clearing Gel. Trust me, when I had that gel, there was no pimple or blemish that could stand in my way. So as far as the brand is concerned I am a fan. I hardly ever heard clients complain and I know these products work. Unfortunately as far as my wallet was concerned I was a frenemy. These babies are definitely an investment. That is probably why I don't use it as my regular skin regime. Saying that I am testing out their youth range Clean Start. I still deal with problematic skin so this range is perfect for me. Also it smells really nice and my bank balance is still normal.

This Year...

...I'm trying to be positive and not complain as much. So as much as I'd like to go on about my horrible skin, hair that doesn't seem to do much despite spending all my money on Redken and constantly having moolah troubles I've decided to rather do things that bring a smile to my face.

So last night I popped in some old Sex and the City, got some frozen yoghurt from Myög and went to a happy place. Sometimes it can make a world of difference.


Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Image from here.

Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me

As any Skinny Bitch in the making knows, if you want to be on top-of-the-world fabulous you have to cover all aspects of your life. So while I’m still searching for the perfect job (Bill Gates, adopt me I’d be the perfect trust fund child) and I’m waiting for Bradley Cooper to get his shit together and propose I work on the other stuff.

At the moment, I’m busy working on the skinny part of the skinny bitch I hope to become. The bitch part has come along nicely ;) Obviously banning carbs from my diet and increasing my gym visits from none to a few a week has done some good. Now I am not one of those girls that skimps on beauty products and procedures. I visit spas, I dry loofah before I shower and I even bought paraffin wax for home pedicures.

Now when it comes to products I remain loyal to the ones that work and smell nice but that doesn’t mean I’m not above using other products. While I’m too afraid to go out to a bar by myself or try scuba diving I can be crazy adventurous with my beauty products. I’m like the Tiger Woods in that respect; I got the ones that I love at home but I’m always on the lookout for new ones on the side.


So when a little bird told me about a ‘little’ site that boasted fab new body products that smelt nice and are natural and all that jazz, I immediately requested some samples. Body Thrills is a collection of handmade, natural products that are designed to make you feel all wholesome and fabulous. Founded by Tamaryn Watkins, the site has gone from a blog to a nifty ecommerce site with user-friendly features and online shopping facilities.

I was lucky enough to try out a few of the products. This is me trying not to eat the Lemon Nougat and Honey Coconut Body Polish. This BP is a fab granular exfoliator that isn’t too harsh on the skin and smells like baked goods. I don’t think I need to say more.


This is me having a moment with the Lemongrass and Juniper Berry body butter. There is something about lemongrass, I just can’t get enough.


And finally, this is me pondering whether I should bathe in the Pina Colado Body Polish or pop it into a cocktail glass with some ice.


If you’re looking for the some great body treats, head on over to Body Thrills; they have a wide range of products (for men and preggos too) and even have some great specials just in time for Christmas.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Shopping, Style and A Return To Happiness

Last week was not a good week. But I am happy to report that the bad vibes are gone and I am feeling much better. For a start my skin is clearing up. Largely to these great products from the new Dermalogica range, Clean Start. They’re for teenage and young-adult skin. I might act like a teenager most of the time but my birth certificate states otherwise. I’m currently using the scrub and mask duo. It’s a-mazing! You apply it like a mask, let it set and then you wet your fingertips and massage it in and tada! It’s an exfoliating scrub. I’m also using the spot treatment and I’m hooked. If it was a guy I’d dedicate him cheesy love songs and write his name all over my notepad.

In other news, shopping played a major part in the past weekend. Both grocery and personal shopping. It’s really nice to have a well-stocked kitchen again after that bad week before you get paid. I take advantage of my mom and dad’s house a lot that week. On the shopping front, I really needed some new shoes. I was hoping to get a pair of gladiator heels for some summer loving. There is this Jimmy Choo pair that I absolutely love. And I found a local equivalent. But sadly they didn’t look as good. So I’m still on the hunt for those. In the meantime, I bought a cute pair of black peep-toes that I cannot wait to wear. I also bought a black Grecian dress. It’s long and flowy and makes “the girls” look amazing. Now I’m looking for some gold rope to create a make-shift belt.

Based on the trends in the shops, Grecian along with boho chic and the 80s will be huge. I don’t want to be a trend victim so I’m approaching these trends with caution. Especially after this past weekend. I walked into Jay-Jays hoping to construct the perfect hipster look. I do live in the city centre now, you know ;). I gravitated towards the coloured jeans, slogan tees, cardigans and wet look leggings. But then I found myself next to a group of 12 year-olds who were obviously doing the same. They were dressed head-to-toe in skinny jeans, converse shoes and tight tees. I swear if I looked in their bags, they would all have multi-coloured wayfarers. That was then I realized I was so not going to try and follow a trend. But rather incorporate a trend into my personal style. While I cannot pull off brightly coloured skinny jeans, I can rock skinny jeans with some killer heels. While every other hipster is sporting boyfriend cardigans and tights instead of pants, I will be donning a boyfriend cardi and a cute dress. What I lack in warfarers I will be making up in trilbys.

So far it’s been a good week. I’d rather it be weekend but I can deal till then. Hope everyone else is having a good one.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!