Things I Want To Try Out

This smokey eye makeup with glitter. 

I heart a smokey eye and I am obsessed with glitter. But not sure if I can pull off this bold look.

DIY Lace Candle Holders.

Apparently these are really simple and cheap to make. I'm dying to host a party by candlelight and think if I ever did, these would be perfect.

Messy Beehive

So I'm having a bit of a throwback phase. I think a regular beehive is a bit too much but this messy one has the perfect balance of retro and modern. Paired with a skater dress, it would be phenom.

Swing Dancing

Nothing looks as much fun as this. And I've heard about some lessons in Cape Town. But my crippling fear and lack of coordination means I'll probably never make it to the lessons.

 Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here.

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Nine

As you will soon find out about me, I take personal hygiene and style very importantly. I'm of the belief that feeling good doesn't necessarily start from the inside. In fact when I have my hair did, my nails painted and I smell ah-mazing I believe I run this world (I also have Beyonce on repeat).

Because I feel like this, I stupidly assumed so did everyone else. That bubble burst very quickly. Now as my journey to you is littered with men and boys sadly of a lesser-quality I have learnt that some males need a little help in the grooming department. I'm not saying you're one of them *but* just in case, I have jotted down some notes on styling I think you should know.

*Wash daily. A human basic you'd think but I have smelt enough men to know this is not the case.

*If you're gonna rock facial hair, you need to be serious. Make sure you know what you're working with and then take care of it. No girl wants to walk around with a guy who is sporting three errant hairs on his chin. If you take care of your hair, I'll take care of mine. Know what I'm saying!

*Wash your hair often. I'm not saying daily because it might not be able to handle it. But ensure it's clean. In my opinion very few women like the Robert Pattinson grease-ball look and even less of those women want to shag him.

*Further to that point, there is no thing as 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. Whatever you knew about it before, forget it. it does not exist. If you cannot afford salon products, get your ass down to the pharmacy and just buy something legit. Nothing keeps those legs closed like a 2-in-1 combo.

*At this point in your life, you're a grown-ass man, not a pubescent horny teenage who bought into advertising. Stop using Axe. You can afford to get a really nice cologne or EDT, do it. Trust me on this, girls LOVE a man who smells nice. Personally I heart Cool Water for him and Boss Bottled, in case you were wondering ;)

*Fix your hands and feet. This should be a no-brainer but some boys are so oblivious. Feet are a serious dealbreaker. Hands I'm more relaxed about. Mainly because I walk around with chipped nailpolish all too often. But seriously if you're gonna be running your hands through our hair or doing other ahem stuff, make sure your digits are neatly filed and clean.

*Soap is not skincare.

*Very few men can pull off hats. I want to believe you're one of them. If you're not, bow out gracefully.

*I just want to touch lightly on clothing. It took me awhile to find out what works for my body so if you're still figuring out what it is, I won't hate on you. I will say hell to the no to the following: Crocs, denim shorts, silky boxers, sports shirts on any day that isn't match day, polo necks, socks with holes, vests unless under a shirt, combat pants, chunky boots, cartoon ties and mesh anything.

Just remember, despite all of this and contrary to what it seems like, I will love you for who you are.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Three

Dear Future Boyfriend Part 3


I realize in my previous posts I have been a bit demanding and finicky. I realize I should just be grateful that my soul-mate has come into my life and all that nonsense. But I think divulging all this shit beforehand will really make our relationship withstand the distance and prevent fights about when we’re ready to have children and why you should never, ever leave the cheese container empty. But as this is a relationship and not just you adoring me for the rest of our lives, I have decided to board the ship (see what I did there?). I’m going to meet you in the middle and fill you in on the things I will and can do for you. After all if you’re willing to listen and abide to my craziness over here and here then it’s really the least I can do.

*Firstly I want to let you know I won’t moan about how much sports you watch. Granted it’s not the only thing you do. As long as there is a time where your ass isn’t on the couch with your remote in hand and you experience fresh air, I’ll be all good. I understand that watching sports with a beer in hand all day is akin to me watching Hell’s Kitchen all day in my underwear and the contents of my fridge spread out before me. We all have to unwind somehow. I won’t mind if you want me to even watch with you. I understand the offside rule, I can remember the season when Man United won the Treble and I even know that there’s a Cricket World Cup on. Also I love men who aren’t afraid to wear short shorts and I particularly love when hot men get all riled up about stuff that they swear and shout. Passion is sexy. There may be a few times when I nod off during a rugby game or surreptitiously check my blackberry during a non-league match but for the most I’ll be cheering with you.

*I’ve learnt to cook. Really, I have skills now. Before, my definition of cooking included adding bits of bacon to instant noodles and reheating frozen pies. Now I’m frigging Nigella Lawson and I have the curves to prove it. I can make you an array of dishes from risotto to home-made ravioli. I do this great herbed sweet potato mash and can make tender soy and honey chicken that’ll make you want to cry. I can even make my own pizza bases with my own home-made tomato sauce. And when we’re done with that...I’ll make dessert. Whether it’s cupcakes or cinnamon rolls or even those baby chocolate cakes that are all gooey inside for you Future Boyfriend I’ll do it all.

*I take care of the way I look. Mostly. I’m still trying to lose all my puppy fat and that weight from Christmas but I’ve started to work out again so at least we’re getting somewhere. But in all other areas I make an effort. I use Redken products for my hair which I know might sound like a foreign language or concept since a lot of boys I know seem to prefer the dreaded 2-in-1 variety of hair care. But it’s really good and costly. I always paint my nails and put on my face. Mostly out of common decency…me first thing in the morning can be quite scary so I’m doing my bit for humanity. I’ve thrown out any clothing items which may have been fad trends and I always avoid fashion that doubles as man-repellents. Most important, I’ve thrown out any graying, shapeless pair of underwear and replaced it with the sexy kind like in Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I only have one pair of fat pants.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things That Need to Be Invented Like Now

Part 1

Me after a night out - just not as composed.

*Some sort of device that prevents me from going to sultry and alluring with straight hair and dark smokey eyes to frizzy hair hastily tied up and raccoon eyes. Before I go out dancing I spend hours with a GHD and lots of time and patience trying to use a liquid liner successfully. And in the end all I end up with is pictures on Facebook of me trying to pull off heroin chic and failing miserably. If the people who owned clubs have some sort of misty thing that kept hair from doubling in size and that could also prevent my face from becoming all shiny, my life would be complete.

*Bad Kisser Detector. Meeting eligible boys these days is hard work. You never know who may be a douche, who may have a girlfriend or even worse who listen to Nickelback that sometimes you need to need to test out the waters before committing to anything serious. I’ve always thought that Cher was a bit frivolous with her “It’s in his kiss” thing but now it turns out that she’s right. I’ve found that no matter how good-looking a guy can be, or how much he can make you laugh if he’s a bad kisser things do not go much further. Therefore if I’m going to spend time holding in my stomach and listening to his ramblings I would like to know that it’s going to pay off. I do not have time to waste on washing machines and darting tongues. Also ladies if you happen to stumble upon a bad kisser, please do not send him back out into the wild. You have to let him know, in the kindest way you can. Shouting “why are you attacking my mouth” is not one of my proudest moments.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week we're going to see Kelly Clarkson.
I believe chocolate will be the undoing of all my weight loss.
I’m addicted to House Season 3 – so exciting.
I wish my hair wasn’t doing its own thing.
I’m jealous of people who still have cash left in their bank accounts…what’s up with that?
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Since You’ve been gone…(we’re really excited for the concert!)

(Image from here.)

Monday's Mantra

This week it's back to gym.
I believe strawberry trifle is evidence that angels exist.
I'm addicted to Dallas Divas & Daughters. Trashy TV at its best.
I wish the wind would stop. My hair looks terrible.
I'm jealous of no one this week, it's time for a positive attitude.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Nothing left for me to do but dance.

In & Out

I saw Ashwini do this over on her blog Clearly Beautiful and thought I’d shamelessly copy it.

In

Sales. Lots of fabulous clothes and homeware items are so much cheaper. Need to hit the shops.

Scrambled eggs on toast. My ideal choice would be with white bread and creamy eggs but since I’m trying to make lifestyle changes, I’ll settle Low GI bread and no sauces.

My new maxi dress. Have yet to wear it but just looking at it in my wardrobe is enough to get me excited.

Blue eye shadow. It makes an all-black ensemble pop.

Out

Money. Seriously. I am all out of it. One of the drawbacks about getting paid early in December.

The scar on my forehead. I burnt my skin whilst trying to curl my hair. I now have a ugly scar that makeup cannot cover up. On the plus side, my hair looked great, nice and natural-looking waves.

Push Play not sending us new DVDs. I saw Hairspray is next on our list. How can you deprive me of that? I want to get my Zac Efron on.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Woe Is Me

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’m not feeling very motivated lately. I am feeling kinda down but I don’t want to hang all those upsets on you. So I decided rather not post the “I have a cold sore and look like Elephant Man’s sister” entry. That last part is true. Not only have I learned how superficial I am (very by the way) but I have been avoiding all good looking men and social events.

The weather lately has been absolutely fantastic. Even a hint of sun makes things better. I have never been able to distinguish on whether I’m a winter or summer person. I love dressing up in boots and stockings in winter but nothing beats a sundress and kaftan. Right now I’m a total summer person. Let’s hope the fabulous weather continues.

In other news I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be mistaken for Kate Moss or Sienna Miller. Boho chic and lithe-looking will never be my forte. I have decided to embrace my body shape. My new idol is Joan from Mad Men. If you haven’t watched it yet you need to, just for her quips. She is totally rocking the curves and shows you can still be a skinny bitch with boobs.

I also feel I need a change. I’m thinking something safe along the lines of a haircut but maybe will include a colour. That is if my bank balance allows it. I’m not sure what happened this month but I think I was robbed. I’m so broke, I feel like a student all over again. Anything else, cost-effective I could try that could be life-changing?

Enjoy the rest of your week. Almost Friday!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Stroppy Cow

This has been one of those weird weeks where I don’t feel like myself. Something seems off. I have also been told countless times I look tired, pasty and unhappy. And yet I am not doing anything different. In fact I have had some discoveries.

Firstly I discovered that some cars can mount pavements and the drivers can park in spaces less than a minute away from their homes. Some cars try to mount the pavement, roll off, try again and then hear tyres being damaged. Then said car and its driver are forced to driver around for what seems like an eternity looking for another parking space. In the end it’s like you have parked in an entirely different suburb and then still have to make the pilgrimage to your flat. Can you guess which car I have.

I also found out which is worse, bad hair day, fat day and bad skin day. Bad hair days are manageable. So are fat days. But nothing can compare to a bad skin day. When your hair is going all wiggy, you can still wear a hat, attempt a chic chignon or do a messy pony tail. When you’re having a fat day, you can wear your period pants or a dress and at least look a little better. When you have a monster pimple on your face you lose all will to live. Or at least I do. It feels like people are constantly looking at chin and shuddering. My face, overnight, has become the poster child for anti-acne products. My poor concealer is working overtime.

I’m going to stop with the woe-is-me thing in a minute. Mostly because I hate when people call you tired when you’ve had a good eight hours sleep. But also because I’m going to treat myself to a Vida trip. I feel like I deserve a latte. Not that I ever needed a reason to have a coffee break before but it’s so much nicer when you “feel” like you have earned.

Have a great afternoon! It’s almost time for the weekend!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

I Got A Feeling...

Yesterday I got this weird feeling that no matter what was happening now, there are good things on the horizon. I don’t want to sound like a weirdo or like I’m going to invite you to join a cult but I felt really excited and happy at the prospect of the future. I’m not sure if it’s got to do with me moving forward career-wise, my love life taking off (which would be fantastic) or even something silly and superficial like a nice hair day (it’s insanely frizzy today). But I’m in a good place. I hope everyone has something to look forward to. I don’t want to be the only one feeling this good.

Happy Wednesday bitches!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Stuff...

Stuff I wonder…

…is it wrong to want to find a guy who can whistle the Young Folks tune?

…what did I do wrong for my pretty pink and purple umbrella to break?

…why the YDE staff have so much attitude and yet the Accessorize staff need some. It was like being served by a Debbie Downer when I went to purchase a replacement for said broken umbrella.

…where has all my money gone? Especially around the time of the 70% off sales.

Stuff I’m happy about…

…I haven’t been late for work all week.

…it’s almost time for Fashion Week.

…Hot Mama is coming back to work in September.

…Dexter is coming tomorrow and Smokey Eyes next week.

Stuff I need to improve…

…my gym attendance.

…my concentration levels at work. I spend most of my day grimacing over my split ends.

…the state of my bedroom. It’s seriously messy.

…holding a grudge. I need to let go of things.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

On My Mind Today...

When I was at the hairdresser the other day, I was informed that despite using my GHD religiously I had quite healthy hair. It wasn’t damaged by the heat. I boasted it was because of my heat activated fancy products. Hairdresser’s response, “That would explain your dry scalp.” Turns out I use too much product on my hair and then I don’t rinse it all out. Which leads to dry scalp and at time flakiness. But it’s not my fault. Well not entirely. I have lots of hair, it’s thicker than Serena’s on GG and after rinsing it for ten minutes, it kinda feels like it’s clean. Luckily she gave me two options to deep cleanse my hair. I could either use another fancy product which I’d need an overdraft for or I could use a kitchen remedy. Apparently a bit of baking soda (or bicarb soda) mixed with shampoo will do wonders. So I tried it and I LOVE it. Okay it was a bit weird in the beginning and it sort of fizzes but it made my hair squeaky clean.

Literally it was making a noise. I shampooed for a second time and then I added some Redken Smooth Down Butter Treat and what do you know, my hair is amazing. It’s shinier and smoother and no more flakes! I try not to advise people on products unless I’d tried them myself but this time I strongly urge you to try it if you need it. It’s a beauty and it’s super cheap!

Okay one of these days I’ll start crushing on real people. But until I get over my fear of rejection I’m perfectly happy looking at famous boys. My new guy is not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s okay. I don’t have to fight with as much people. His name is Taylor Kitsch. You may recognize him from The Covenant or the Wolverine movie. Or hopefully the guy I’m posing with on my Facebook page. Fingers crossed!

When I saw him in the Wolverine movie, for once I was not concentrating on Hugh Jackman’s abs. Being a huge fan of the cartoon series when I was younger, I was absolutely gutted when my favourite character, Gambit, did not make an appearance. It was more painful than watching Halle Berry’s performance of Storm. All she did was close her eyes and suddenly it was misty? Nonsense. So there I was, stuffing my face with salt and vinegar popcorn, nom nom nom and suddenly someone mentions the character of Remy Le Beau (it means the most handsome in French). Now as a true fan, I knew exactly who this was and I was not disappointed. He was sexy, he had stubble and he could throw a mean pack of cards. Another reason I think we’re meant to be, he was recently in South Africa to film a movie about The Bang Bang Club, a group of photographers who worked in townships during the apartheid era. See we have lots to talk about. It’s kismet.

As frequently documented on this blog, we’re going to be big girls and move out of the house. Whilst we have many of the things we require for the other rooms in terms of colour and appliances. My new bedroom has very little going on. Yes I know I’m jumping the gun, but I am a planner. So although we don’t have a place just yet, I have already started planning what I want in there. Originally I wanted to make it sexy boudoir chic but I’m so messy and tend not to make my bed so that’s out. How does a pile of clothes on the floor equal bedroom bliss. So now I’m thinking of going for some patterned wallpaper. We’re getting a huge wall in our office covered in personalized wallpaper so it’s on my brain. The sad thing about this, it probably won’t happen as many landlords don’t allow you to paint or wallpaper. I also thought about having an all-white bedroom. But again I am messy and an all-white bedroom with smudges does not have the same serene effect. I haven’t decided on anything else new at the moment but I am spending most of the work day browsing interior decorating websites. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!