My Christmas Wishlist Part Five

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

Dear Santa

If you fail on all the other stuff, please please work on this one.


Much love
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Image from here.

My Christmas Wishlist Part Four

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

I can try and think of ways to motivate why underwear is on my wishlist. But I realised I don't have to. For those not keen on the commando vibe, it's a necessity. If you are blessed on the upper body, you definitely need some good support. And if you're into pretty things then you have all the motivation you need.



Although there's not a permanent fixture warming up the other side of my bed I still believe in buying sexy knickers. Matching items also make insanely happy. I think that's the great thing about underwear; wearing some pretty pieces can make you feel instantly better. And if you have someone to stare in awe (like only boys can do) it's just an added bonus.


Santa, please make your way to Edgars or Stuttafords and pick me up some After Eden lovelies. I want to feel sexy and make boys gape. To help you out I've picked out my absolute favourites.
Thanks buddy! Owe you one.



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

My Christmas Wishlist Part Three

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

As I've mentioned several times I am a beauty product slore. There's just something about bathing in nice-smelling things and then drenching your skin in body butter. I've yet to meet boys who enjoy this as much as I do so I'm guessing it's a girl thing.

The best part for me has to be the smell of a product. Vanilla reminds me of happy times; fruits and cocoa butter are the stuff summers are made of; and the festive season is all about cranberry. I recently wrote about a range I was lucky enough to try out here and now I've had a little look over the rest of their products.

Oh Santa Baby, won't you please put this Cupcake Frosting Body Butter into my stocking. It will make me smell nice and I'm sure once I do, boys will like me.



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

My Christmas Wishlist Part Two

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

Zando is a new online shopping portal launching in February 2012. Until then, they've been teasing us with shoe porn. There are a whole lot of pretty shoes in their photo gallery but for some reason I cannot stop lusting after this pair.


I used to have a big aversion to animal print. That was until I learnt in small doses it can be sexy and spice up an outfit. These shoes are just the right amount and have a bold heel. You know those will be perfect for dancing.

So Santa, if you're listening I haven't been all that good but I promise to do better next year.

Happy Shopping!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

My Christmas Wishlist Part One

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

Shapewear has become as important in my life as my nightly eye cream routine. And if you're over the age of 18 and have not invested in an eye cream, then we need to talk. Well you need to listen because you're about to get schooled.

Seriously though, I cannot think of a time when I didn't need my magic knickers. And I've found that it's not just girls shaped like me (with a few more bumps and curves than Kate Moss) that are wearing them. Not only do they suck everything in; they give your outfit that smooth, contoured look. The only problem I've ever had with them, they're very unattractive. Previously I thought that the special material that works so well may be the reason these knickers are so uggo. And if they're doing their job then that doesn't matter. And just pray you don't forget about them and have a Bridget Jones moment. That's what I used to think. Then I discovered Maidenform.

This range is getting rid of all preconceived notions that shapewear has to be ugly, beige and uncomfortable. Instead they're comfy, sexy and come in many styles and colours. And best news ever, they're available in South Africa. You can get some at Stuttafords or Edgars.

Happy Shopping!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

What To Do...

...when all you really want is to go on an island holiday. An island holiday where you spend all day blissfully lounging in the sun and wearing bikinis all day. An island holiday from where you come back with tan lines and wearing a stupid shell necklace and annoy people with phrases like "That's what I learnt in Phuket" and "Sorry, usually at this time we'd be having a foot massage in Bangkok."



What to do when you don't make enough money, cannot save and spend what little moolah you have on nachos and fancy coffees with vanilla shots: you take drastic measures aka you become a grownup.

I've decided if I'm ever going to go on that holiday I need to do some serious stuff. Problem is I'm constantly broke and for some reason I cannot save money. So I opened one of those adult bank accounts where money magically disappears as soon as it comes in. This usually happens when I get paid my salary anyway but at least now I know where it's going. I've also cut back on clothes and shoe shopping and going out. I keep telling myself I'll buy wardrobes full of clothes in Thailand and I'll party so hard I'll make The Hangover 2 look like child's play.


It's really hard and very tempting to fumble but I've got my eye on the prize!

Happy Friday!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here, of course.

Something Old, Something New

If I had to describe myself (to a potential mate, a prospective boss or just to anyone who’d be willing to listen) I’d use the word ambitious. I have lots of dreams and I have faith I will achieve them. While I’m working hard to achieve my dreams, a lot of other stuff gets pushed back to the metaphorical closet.

I was the queen of “Ooh I must do this.” Or “As soon as I can afford it I’ll do that.” Or “Please remind me to finally get ‘round to it.”

Then last month I got sick of putting things off and decided to just do them. I don’t want to get all morbid but when this life is over, I want to look back and say, no regrets.

In order not to get bored or give up, I’ve decided that once a week I’ll do something new. There are no limits or rules on this “something new” so it gives me a chance to get round to some exciting stuff and some not so exciting stuff.

I started this last week so the next post will be about my first new thing I’ve done. I have yet to do something new this week so if there are any suggestions please let me know!

Happy Tuesday!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

I Want! I Want! I Want!

Check out these fabulous sunnies from Alexander Wang via Net-A-Porter.

They're selling for £200. Anyone want to lend me some money? I'll pay you back in cuddles.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Faboosh!

How fabulous is this dress from the new Marc Jacobs collections.



I want! I want! I want!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

*Image via i heart your outfit.

I Hope I'm Old Before Die

When we were younger, the gay best friend and I always had a disadvantage. Not only we were short but we could never pass for 18. Even when we turned 18. Therefore in the years before being legal, we used to hang around coffee shops instead of outside clubs begging to be let in. Our favourite coffee shops were the ones which were adjacent to book shops. As you can imagine, Friday nights sipping lattes and reading were rocking J. I remember we always used to go through that book 101 Things To Do Before You Die. At one point we wanted to write down all the items in the book. I should mention we were not freaks just dead poor. And as it turns out, lazy. We didn’t write out the list instead we would both open it on a random page and resolve to do that one thing. We did this a couple of times and both ended up with a list of things we wanted to achieve. I cannot remember what was on my list, I do remember his list telling him to have a threesome. As a good catholic girl, I was both shocked, intrigued and jealous ;).

Cut to me now at 22 still dead poor and still without my list. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I want to do and decided to make my own list. I was also inspired by Rachel’s 101 items in 1001 days list. It sounds amazing. But I’m not sure how well I’ll respond to a deadline. Also money is a huge problem. Mainly I cannot save to er, save my life. For some reason as soon as I get money, I need to spend it. Until I marry a trust fund baby, many of the items will take awhile to complete. But I really like making lists so I thought I’d start on some stuff.

10 Places I Want To Visit:

The Little Mermaid Statue in Copenhagen

-Juliet’s Balcony in Verona

-Auschwitz

-Hever Castle (Childhood home of Anne Boleyn)

-Loch Ness (I’m convinced Nessie exists)

-Disney Land

-New Orleans (Around the time of Mardi Gras)

-New York (For the Sex and the City Tour)

-New Zealand (For the Lord of the Rings Tour)

-Pompeii

10 Random Things I Want To Accomplish

-Write and publish a book

-Get married

-Learn another language

-Have breakfast outside Tiffanys flagship store

-Buy a Mini Cooper (by myself, no help from my dad or brothers)

-Have a holiday villa in Spain

-Zorbing

-Sit front row at a fashion show (preferably next to Anna Wintour but I can settle)

-Kissing the Blarney Stone

-Be completely debt-free

10 Things I Want To Try

-Manhattan cocktails in Manhattan

-Champagne in Champagne

-Haute Couture in Paris

-Coffee at Starbucks

-Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity II

-Sushi at Nobu

-Skiing in the Alps

-Be an intern at Vogue

-Chorizos in Spain

-Picking Tulips in the Netherlands

Looking at them now, some don’t seem so hard to do. Some I can accomplish together. Some I’m not sure if I ever will be able to accomplish. But there’s no point in getting negative. Instead I’ll keep the faith and wait anxiously for items to cross off.

If you have anything you think I absolutely have to try, let me know.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wish List # 7 Flawless Skin

I have always had skin problems. Ever since I entered puberty and developed early I have had lots to juggle with. And not everything could be settled with a training bra. My goal to have acne-free skin took years to accomplish. I tried tried Oxy and Clean and Clear and Clearasil. I tried the skincare solution made out of tea. I tried the one made from carrots. I tried products made for sensitive skin and for teenage skin. No matter what I was putting on my face, nothing was working. So tried pills and tablets and almost resorted to an injection–like thing which still gives me the creeps today.

Today I have almost good skin. Which means the majority of it is clear but I am still prone to break-outs. I have a strict skincare regime which I almost-always adhere to. One thing is for sure though, I never go to bed with my make-up on.

In the quest for perfect skin, there are so many skincare products out there. I currently use Nimue which is amazing. But if money was no object I’d use these:

Crème La Mer

The miracle cream that needs no introduction. Madonna uses it. Jennifer Lopez uses it all over her body. According to the website there’s no logical explanation why it works so well. It just does. Something to do with the weird process it takes to create it. Special seaweed and lunar schedules. And if it came to it, I would rather buy a couple of tubs instead of getting a new car.

Dermalogica Thermofoliant

Like the Daily Microfoliant, which is king, is an exfoliator with a difference. Instead of mixing with water like its counterpart, this is a gel-like substance that once rubbed onto the skin heats up. Literally. I’ve tried it. On my hand to be honest but I swear it felt amazing. And my palm has never looked better! It’s part of the Age Smart range so it’s ideally for mature or prematurely ageing skin. But if you’re looking to fight the signs of ageing it’s perfect.

ComfortZone Glorious Skin Tensor

This is an absolutely amazing serum. It has been described as Botox in a bottle. Although I have never had Botox I have tried this. In minutes, after one application skin looks and feels fabulously firmer. It’s also great to put on before doing your foundation as it presents a perfect, smooth canvas. Also fabulous for preventing wrinkles.

YSL Touché Éclat

The only beauty product I can afford. And the one I buy on a regular basis. Apart from acne, I also have dark circles. And they’re heredity and not just the result of smudgy eyeliner. Touché Éclat is by far the best concealer known to man. A little dab can do wonders for the skin. I use it under my eyes, to highlight my cheeks when I’m going for a natural look and for when those damn chin spots appear. The product is so fabulous it’s even been redone for men. I'm a shade 3 btw!

Wish List # 6 Chuck Bass

For those unfamiliar with Gossip Girl (aka one of the most awesome shows ever), then the allure and sheer-hotness of Chuck Bass, played by Ed Westwick, will be a mystery. Even I will admit that before I saw the show about Manhattan's elite teen-queens and heartthrobs I was so not a fan. Perez Hilton consistently mentioned the British actor and alluded to his supposed homosexuality with fellow GG co-star Chace Crawford. I was not a Chuck Bass convert until I managed to watch the whole first season. And I did so in two days, never leaving the couch with a consistent supply of junk food. The rest, I am now a bona-fide Chuck-a-holic!

This Upper East Side bad boy of Manhattan's social scene may not be the first choice to take home to the parents. But he is the one they would have warned us about. The notorious, manipulative and sexy Chuck Bass breaks all the rules and has such fun doing it. He makes no apologies except justifies his actions with his now-renowned catchphrase, "I'm Chuck Bass". Although revenge and self-gain are synonymous with his character, Chuck also managed to show us a softer, caring and loyal side when it comes to his bestie Nate and his love interest Blair.

Apart from the money and the womanising and his catchphrase, Chuck Bass is a natty dresser. And us women folk couldn't be more happier. We're watching the show for him as much as for Blair's headbands and Serena's ensembles. Chuck Bass has the ability to mix prep-school cool with street style. His eponymous patchwork scarf has had fashionistas scrambling to purchase one for themselves and has spawned its own dedicated fansite.

Until we get Chuck Bass, we'll settle for some pictures and quotes.

"I'm Chuck Bass


"There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated."


"Why don't I turn that one piece into a no-piece."


"Well I'm Chuck Bass."

Wish List # 5 The Perfect Winter Coat

It's fast becoming winter in Cape Town and skinny bitches are all struggling to find the perfect cover-up. Whether it's to dress up skinny jeans or make a LBD and ankle boots rock, the perfect winter coat is something many women yearn for but never find.

There are so many factors that contribute to the overall purchase decision. How long is it? How warm is it? What's the collar like? Do I want a bright one or a black one? Can I wear it on its own with a pair of killer heels? Will it make me look big?

Sometimes it is so hard to be a women.

While, us, skinny bitches cannot determine what your ideal winter coat is. We can give you some eye candy to peruse over.

Enjoy!

Oscar De la Renta


La Petite


Celine

Burberry Prorsum

Halston

Wish List # 4 The Power To Turn Gay Men

Us, skinny bitches like gay men. A lot. We actually love them. Most of our best girlfriends are gay. Most of our male friends are gay. So there’s a lot of love in this relationship. And why wouldn’t there be. Gay men are faboosh! Whether they’re stereotypically loud and bitchy or sensitive and caring or even into sports and completely straight-acting. We love love love spending time with them. They’re the perfect men apart for one big thing: other men.

Gay men have dressed us, comforted us and laughed with us. All while doing so in designer labels and smelling better than we do. The relationship could only be improved by some action in the bedroom. So there’s no surprise that if we had a multitude of wishes, we’d definitely wish to turn those cute, charming well-dressed, well-gelled men into appreciators of the female species. And we don’t just mean appreciating our outfits. We want those men to do more than stroke our hair. We’d ultimately like them pulling it in the throes of passion. Instead of dressing us in fabulous ensembles we’d like them to rip our clothes off without caring about the stitching. After we watch the Dirty Dancing together, we’d want to get down and dirty. Maybe even dance too.

Alas this is one thing we know we’ll never get. Sure some of willing to experiment but ladies, these ladies are only focused on men. So we’ll settle for being their hags. The girls they call when they want to go out for a latte. They girls they don’t getting undressed in front of. The girls they tell have lost weight over the phone. The girls they create a fabulous beehive updo for. And the girls they watch The Sound of Music with. Gay men, still pretty perfect.

We may not be allowed to have them but we can still look at them.

Here are the top 5 guys we wish we weren’t gay:

Simon Amstell

Kyan Douglas

Tom Ford

Luke Macfarlane

Adam Lambert

Wish List # 3 - Jimmy Choo Clue

These Italian-made pieces of art are the best-selling shoe from the Jimmy Choo brand. These irresistible peep-toe, slingbacks make walking in platforms possible and sexy.

The classic black version has now been redone in watersnake leather and metallic shades.

They retail at ZAR8,500.00 and are available at the Cape Town Jimmy Choo Store.

Contact +27 21 418 8506 for more information.

Wish List # 2 - Edward Cullen

For those people are who are not teenage girls or men, Edward Cullen needs no introduction.

Ever since Mr Darcy, the ladies of the world have been looking for more literature heroes that make us swoon and say all the right things. Of course there was Noah from The Notebook and Robbie Turner in Atonement, but the modern woman is never satisfied with just one. And so comes along Edward Cullen.

If you’ve devoured the Twilight book series like the Cullens family devour animal blood, you’ll need no reason for an explanation why we want him. Also since, Angel ended, we need our fill of hottie vampires.

First spotted in the Twilight novel published in 2005, Edward Cullen is an immortal, century-old vampire with Adonis-like looks and super human strength. There’s a lot going for a man that doesn’t age. Granted he’s not an uggo with date-rapist eyes. He’s been described as having golden eyes and full lips. All the better to see and taste you with?!

Excluding the vampire part, Edward is essentially an older man who drives an Aston Martin, has bags of money, rock hard abs and wouldn’t expect you to put out for some time. It’s the fear of the super human strength crushing you to death while you’re getting busy. A patient, sensitive stud with a hot car…please form an orderly queue ladies.

In 2008, no casting director did more for the leading-man starved female public, than by casting Robert Pattinson as Edward. The author, Stephanie Meyer had her hopes set on Henry Cavil though. You know that dark, brooding sex-on-legs from The Tudors. Unfortunately Cavil was the wrong side of 25 and thus Pattinson, who was last seen in one of the Harry Potter movies, was cast. After his magical and swoon-inducing performance, it’s hard to imagine why some fans protested against him. They obviously haven’t seen him without his shirt off.

Set to return in the remaining movie adaptations of the books, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen is exactly what a skinny bitch needs.

Until we get him, here are some of our favourite Edward quotes:

“If I could dream at all, it would be about you.And I'm not ashamed of it.”

“I prefer brunettes.” (Skinny bitches note – our personal favourite!)

“I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist.” (Skinny bitches note – add your own name in place of Bella’s for kicks!)

“He called you pretty....that's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful.”

Ex-oh! Ex-oh!

Oh for the love of...Shoes!

As blue eyes has already mentioned, shoes play a big, big role on our wishlist. They inspire confidence and power beyond the height that they provide, enhance our shape and look pretty. They're also really easy to get wrong - there are SO many fugly shoes out there. So, as potential Queens of the World would have to wear the best, what are the best shoes in the world? The quest commences for the best that money can buy (which we need to point out might be very expensive but aren't necessarily the most expensive).

If we're going for the absolute best, there are only three brands to consider - all of them designed and made by artists and craftsmen.

Manolo Blahnik

Much loved by Carrie in Sex and the City, the Manolo brand originated in London and was launched in 1971. Mentors to Blahnik and the influential people that we have to thank for encouraging his talent are the late, greats Diana Vreeland (American Vogue's legendaray editor) and Ossie Clark (the designer of the 70's).

Jimmy Choo

The Jimmy Choo brand of luxury shoes and other accessories was launched in 1996 by Tamara Mellon, company director (previously British Vogue's accessories editor) and Jimmy Choo himself, an East London shoe-maker. Celebrities love them for their bling-bling appeal and up-to-the-minute trends on the red carpet.

Christian Louboutin My personal favourite, these beauties are characterised with deep red soles - flashing a glimpse of scarlet as one walks. Christian Louboutin, the man, is a French designer who has recently branched out into handbags.

images from http://www.christianlouboutin.com/; http://www.jimmychoo.com/; http://www.manoloblahnik.com/.

Bitches Wish List Introduction

Welcome to the Bitches Wish List.

As we continue on our quest to be the perfect women with the perfect hair and jobs, we’ve come across things we want and things we desperately want. These are our wish list items…sure they will include things like complete happiness, travelling the world and winning a Nobel Prize. You know, the boring, clichéd bits. More importantly they’ll include the places we want to be, the boys we wanna kiss and the shoes we wanna own.

And so begins our list of things we want and desperately need!

An obvious starter but something every girl wants at one point in our lives.

Bitches Wish List # 1 – Queen of the World

Imagine how cool this job must be. Not only are you revered for being fabulous, you get to wear a tiara. It is one of my life’s ambitions to find a job where I can wear a tiara every day. I’ve tried it at my current company but all it attracts are stares and awkward smiles. Also you start to wonder why no one in the office is talking to you anymore. They think your crazy will rub off on them. Heads up, it’s not infectious!

Apart from the best reason to be queen of the world, you get to travel. Because the entire world is your domain. Feel like skiing (with a helmet – it’s dangerous) in the Alps, you can. Feel like sunning yourself on a yacht in Capri, you can! Shopping in Manhattan, you can! No need for silly visas and bad passport pictures. You just flash a smile and bounce!

I also like the idea of being waited on hand and foot. Sure, there are some stuff I’ll still do myself. Depending on how lazy I feel that day. But imagine, ring a bell and you get a Cosmopolitan. Two rings and they bring you some Ferro Rocher on a sliver plate. Three rings and they bring you a double cheeseburger with fries and a coke. No calories of course. As queen of the world, I’ve set the earth’s brainiest boffins to work on much more important things than another fuel option.

My foreign policy is a bit hazy but I will get back to that.

In essence, if I was queen of the world:

I would live here

I would date him

And I would wear these

I heart my job!

Ex-oh! Ex-oh!