Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Five

Dear Future Boyfriend



You get different types of people. You get the kind who are spontaneous and do things on weekends. Things which require them to actually leave the comfort of the couch and experience things. Then you get the people who relish in the comfort of the couch. I would like to think that I am in the middle. It’s more truthful to say that I am ¾ of the way on the couch and the other quarter is desperate to be out there. Therefore FB I need you to be one of those people. The active kind of person that makes lazy people hate them. It’s sort of like the skinny girl who says things like “Sometimes I forget to eat.” Anyway I need you to encourage me to visit places other than a food market and to do spontaneous active things like take advantage of a nice day by going hiking or to the beach. You see I want to do all those things but somewhere between the Parks & Recreation marathon and that bag of salt and vinegar chips that will not eat itself I get lazy.

In my mind, I am pretty gangsta. Seriously I think my knowing all the words to Funky Cold Medina and having watched Dangerous Minds a gazillion times equals thug life. And I’m going to need you to go along with it. So when I quote rap lyrics without knowing what the hell they’re talking about and start describing things as ‘dope’ ‘crunk’ and ‘bling’ remember why you love me and ignore it.

It seems there are various ways to discern someone’s personality whether it be their reaction to animals or the way they sleep or the music they listen to. I like to do it by seeing how you treat waiters. There are many things I think I could excel at:
Dancer in a music video - yes
Ice-cream taster - yes
Chuck Bass’ girlfriend oh hell yes!
One of the things I would suck at is being a waiter. And it’s not something I would ever deign to do. Therefore I treat most servers with an unprecedented amount of respect and tips. Also I’ve read Kitchen Confidential and I really don’t want anyone to mishandle my food. If we experience horrible service, you have every right to bring it up. But if you think being mean to waiters is something that makes you appear macho and sexy, oh boy do you have no idea how fast those knickers are coming up.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Image from here.

Win With Skinny Bitches and Smiling Feet

So a little while back I was sent some a hamper of Kiwi's Smiling Feet to try out. You can read all about it here.



To recap, Smiling Feet are a range of gel cushions that alleviate the pressure of all those beautiful heels. Because I've never met a pair of heels that doesn't hurt after some time. Even better there are several kinds of gel cushions available to suit all your heels.



Now the fabulous peeps from Kiwi are giving away ten hampers to ten fabulous ladies who also don't want to compromise on style.

*To win all you have to do is send an email to skinnybsinthemaking@gmail.com with your favourite shoe moment. It's that easy!

Unfortunately only fashionistas in South Africa can enter.

Good luck bitches!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Let's All Take a Moment...

...and look at pictures of good-looking men.

I have to admit, James McAvoy in the new X-men was a big drawcard for me. After watching the movie I can now say I'm way more into Michael Fassbender who plays Magneto.





Ladies...I don't think words are necessary, do you?!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Get Ready For The Weekend - Competition Time

You know how people tend to ask you what you’re doing on the weekend and you’re all like “It’s only Tuesday. I haven’t thought about it yet.”

And then all of a sudden you cannot stop thinking about it. Suddenly your fingers are all tingly and you start sweating. I have no weekend plans. I have no weekend plans. You start rocking back and forth and wonder when did it get all dark and cold. Okay maybe it’s not that bad but you still end up in a bit of a flurry.

Luckily I have the solution. At least for this weekend.

If you’re in the Cape Town area and just love, love, love visiting markets, listening to live music, and mixing with some of the most fabulous, creative peeps in the city, then you’re in luck. The first ever Bay Harbour Market Jol is happening on 11 June and Skinny Bitches have a couple of sets of double tickets to give away.


All you have to do to win tickets to this amazing event is send one little email to skinnysbinthemaking@gmail.com. It’s that easy and then you can be one of those smug people with weekend plans that send others into a panic :)

Good luck bitches!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

All By Myself*

*Excuse the moany, feeling-sorry-myself title. This is not a woe-is-me blog post. It’s a bit moany but nothing so sad it’ll make the reader even want to do a razor-blade action.


In one of my favourite Sex and the City episodes Carrie and Aidan have just moved in together and it takes a little adjusting. Carrie then laments to the girls about how she misses so many things she couldn’t do before she had a dude hanging around her place. This in turn leads the other girls to reveal some of their private activities they love to do. Sometimes it just seems like there are some things that feel better when done alone like…

…going to the movies by yourself. Yes it’s awesome with a date but there’s something absolutely fabulous when it’s just you. Maybe it’s because you don’t have to pretend to like arty, clever movies and can see what you really want (One ticket for Fast and Furious Five please!) Maybe it’s because you can overload your popcorn with salt ‘n’ vinegar flavouring and no one makes passive aggressive comments. Whatever the reasoning, it is something to be relished.

…making a big pot of pasta and then sitting down to watch Julie and Julia. The story behind this is, one day one of my gays gave me a copy of J&J. He also instructed me not to watch it without a vast supply of food at the ready. Knowing the paltry ingredients in my fridge weren’t going to cut it, I bought some fancy stuff to make one of those creamy tomato-based pastas with lots of bacon and feta. The results were magical.

…playing cheesy music and cleaning the house. I’d love to be able to have someone clean my flat but for some reason I get a little joy from cleaning it myself. Maybe it’s because I use the opportunity to parade in short shorts and yellow gloves – once a fashionista, always a fashionista – but more likely it’s the fact that I was forced to help my mother clean our house and I haven’t gotten out of the routine yet. Saying that I’m not really a neat and tidy person and there are days when my sink is flooded with dishes. But once I get that feeling, helped on by playing the best and worst of the 80s, I’m in my zone. And all of a sudden I cannot stop until there’s no mildew on the bathroom tiles or until all the wax has been cleared from the mantelpiece. I'd like to admit I'm a cleaning machine but after years of living with her, that title will always belong to my mother.

Your fave all-by-myself pastimes?

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

A Woman's Right To Shoes

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you’ll know me as Tweets in Heels. For those who don’t, my love of shoes, particularly high heels should not be foreign to you. After all I literally write for shoes.( If you don’t believe me check out the blog I write for Bronx Ladies where I get paid in shoes).

In summary, I’m a big fan of heels.

Being blessed not only with curves and gaydar, I also am vertically challenged. Which means heels are my saving grace. I instantly go from knocking into average size people’s knees to knocking into their shoulders. Now as an avid heel wearer I must admit something. Even though I’d be nothing without them, there are times when these little beauties can hurt. I’ve found that I can usually manage a full day of heels without complaints. It’s what happens after I leave work that’s the problem. If I have a shopping errand, those fierce heels that have made my outfit start making me use four-letter words. If I go dancing and have not had the benefit of a foot massage beforehand, when you see me shouting my way through Don’t Stop Believin’ it’s really me trying to channel the pain somewhere else.

So when some angels dropped off this little number I was overjoyed.

Kiwi’s Smiling Feet are a gel cushions that can be slipped into your heels and can alleviate some of that pain it takes to look good. Those clever peeps have even gone one further by creating an entire range of gel cushions to treat several different areas that might that can be a tad uncomfortable.



I’ll definitely be pairing these handy little things with all my heels. After all, why should we gals compromise on style.



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Four

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Four


I run the risk of this sounding whiny and desperate but oh FB where are you?! I have spent some time in the company of other men – not in a slutty way – and they’ve just reminded why I hold out hope for someone like you. I’ve always believed boys are good. And I’m not just talking about my gays, they’re in a whole other example of how great men can be. I’ve seen firsthand how boys can be caring and fun and not fuckwits that make you sad and eat your way to cellulite. But the road to these good men is usually clouded with losers and guys who don’t call. I’ve always been prepared to kiss a few frogs before finding you, after all, it will make being with you so much sweeter. But sometimes the actions of these other boys can ruin a girl.

Obviously FB you are not one of those boys. But just in case you were trying to pull any douchebag tricks, here’s a list of things you should never do:

*Firstly never play games. Yes we’ve all been there and we’ve all lived to tell that playing hard to get works but it’s annoying. Who came up with these rules that we have to wait a certain number of days before returning calls. It’s lame. If you like me, let me know. Obviously if you’re stalker-like don’t let me know.

*If we meet in a club and all you really want to do is kiss me or take me home, let me know upfront. Don’t ask for my number as a way to entice me. Sometimes alcohol and a good dance beat makes me weak and then I do stupid things like kiss strangers because I think they like me when they’ve taken my number. Cut to me constantly checking my cellphone reception and hanging up on other people so I don’t put your call on hold.

*If we went out and then it’s not working or you’re not feeling or you’ve found out something weird about me (like how much of a control freak I am or the fact that I have The Little Mermaid on DVD) and you want out; just tell me. Please don’t just stop calling me, tell me. There’s nothing worse than having to resort to Facebook Stalking or a Missing Person ad. Because if I really like you and think you’ve been kidnapped I will find a way to find you. And I don’t think it’ll be a great story for the kids –which we’ll be having by the way, two boys and a girl ;)

*Let me know upfront if you’re one of those nice guys who do random nice things for people. I know this sounds weird but if I’m not sure if you’re naturally nice and you do something sweet and blush-making I’ll assume you like me. It’s the girlie part of me. And because of that random time you bought me a latte or gave me a hug when I was down, I’ll probably start liking you. And then I’ll start imaging what I’d wear if we went on a date. Then I’ll start wondering if what our wedding colours would be and then if we’re sending the children to a Waldorf school or private and what to do when your mom comes to visit and it’ll all be a big mess. So if you’re genuinely a nice guy who drops off random bars of chocolate in a girl’s drawer include a note stating this will not lead to dating, marriage and adopting cute Asian babies.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Current Loves, Wants and Needs

*This navy drape dress from local online shopping site Diligo which I’m dying to order but they don’t have my size.


*My new grey boots from Bronx Ladies. Loving grey this winter and surprisingly ankle boots turned out to be friend.

*Tina Fey’s new book which I have ordered and waiting for delivery. I have a major girl crush on Ms Fey so cannot wait to read it!



*Being able to drink lattes again. After that awful diet and only black coffee, nothing seemed more wonderful than having a coffee with milk. I realize my latte intake may be a bit too much so am limiting it. But there is nothing more fabulous.



*I’m in the market for a new bed. And as I claim to be all grown up and sophisticated, it’s only right that my bed be the same. I’m currently lusting after a baroque-style headboard but have yet to find one. If you can help, I can pay you back in hugs!



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things That Make Me Happy

*Being able to fit into my skinny jeans again.
If you’ve been following my Twitter stream, you’ll know that the Skinny Bitches undertook some drastic measures to lose some weight. Before you get all worried, it wasn’t anything like surgery or an eating disorder. Mostly because you know we have no money for liposuction. We decided we needed a little kick to get us motivated to really start eating healthy. So we decided to do the Royal Danish Hospital diet. If you’ve heard of it, you’ll know it’s pure protein and can make you lose up to 10 kgs. If you don’t know about it, it’ll basically put you off eggs, steak and carrots but at the end of the day you can wear your skinny jeans again. Which is exactly what happened to me. After 13 days of avoiding carbs, resisting all cravings and repeating “skinny bitch in the making” I finally weighed myself and found I was 5 kgs lighter which translates into fitting into my skinny jeans again! Hurrah!

*Cooking Again
After two weeks of bland steak and eggs, I couldn’t wait to start cooking again. And because of Mother’s Day yesterday I had the perfect excuse. I had to make a little something special for my momma (and myself of course) for all the stuff she does for me. So I opted for some butter chicken. I’ve made it before and loved it but this time I decided to go a little bit more extravagant and make a new version. There was also some garlic bread in lieu of naan bread. After dieting nothing tastes as good as home-cooked meal.

*Planning a Holiday
Nothing’s booked yet but there’s been lots of saving and getting bikini ready. Skinny Bitches will be hitting Thailand at the end of the year with some besties. Whoop Whoop!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Image from here.

Poetry's Enchanted Garden

Last week I was invited to a very special event at the Poetry store at the V&A Waterfront. For those who don’t live here, Poetry stores are where the woman I want to be when I grow up shop. So essentially when I have all the means to be sophisticated, wealthy and fabulous, not to mention skinny, this is where you’ll find me.


Inspired by other retail stores around the world, Poetry decided to celebrate Mother’s Day a little different this year. Instead of the usual banners and reminders to get our mom’s the usual gifts of slippers and bath stuff, Poetry went a little more creative by hosting a live window-painting session.



Cape Town artist Megan Hart was selected to transform the store’s window’s into a little enchanted garden, with the V&A store getting that extra bit of va-va-voom from some Cape Town fashion peeps and bloggers. I was lucky enough to be one of the fabulous few to add my name to the stores windows.


After we’d had our fill of sushi and champers, we were even presented with a little gift from Poetry for our moms. Although if I’m honest it has and probably will remain in my care :)

If you’re in the vicinity, make sure you pop to the store and see the painting, it’s tres amazing.

Here are some other bloggers who also got to make their mark:

Nicole from Vintage Lifestyle Mag (can you see her in the background?)

Jean from Social Jeanius - a Style Scoop buddy of mine.

Lucille from The Pink Pen Word Studio

The Fashion Library and Man of the Cloth

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!