Cosmopolitan and Revlon Polished Event

You know how they say every girl has something about her body she’d like a change? Well I have a list. And it’s long. Just one of my gripes are my hands and nails. My mother has long slender hands and those elegant, pointy nails. I have short, sausage-like stubs with square nails. Beauty therapists like to convince me they’re square-oval because at least that’s a fashionable shape. But these babies are nothing fashionable.

Since they don’t make magic knickers or a Wonderbra equivalent for nails, I resorted to the next best thing: nail polish. So from a young age when all I was allowed to use was that Tinkerbell stuff that you could peel off to the days of Gellish, my nails are almost always covered in varnish. You can imagine how attractive they look when I go bare. (Sometimes I like to scare men who have wronged me by flashing my nude nails at them and watching them recoil in fear)

So when I received an invite to Cosmo Polished event, I squealed with glee. In fact I probably did break out into a Glee-inspired number.

The event was hosted by Cosmopolitan (duh) and Revlon and held at the super-fancy Bree Street Studios. Me and one of my besties Sara grabbed some pink champers and made our way to the front row. Thanks Cosmo for the reserved seating, you know how to make a girl and her friend feel special.

The setup consisted of a nail station with all the essentials a girl would need for the perfect manicure. There was cotton buds, sponges, toothpicks (oh yeah), nail polish remover and some other products from the Revlon range. Most importantly there was stand of nail polish including Revlon’s latest collection Brilliant Strength. You may have noticed the ad campaign with Emma Stone doing the rounds at the moment.

 

To start we were welcomed by Cosmo’s new editor Cathy Lund, who is all kinds of adorable in real life. Seriously I wanted to hug her but that kind of behaviour normally gets me kicked out of events. She in turn introduced Chi Chi who was our manicure tutor. Chi Chi took us through three styles that are gonna change the way we do our nails: ombre, nail art and marble effect. No more boring red for us. Chi Chi showed us all the steps needed to try these three styles and you know what, she made it look *just as easy* as those smug bitches on Pinterest make it look.

 And the truth? It was relatively easy. To mess it up. Sara managed to do the marble effect on her first try. And it looked amaze. Seriously have a look. The rest of the nails were a little bit more interesting. Sara, if you’re reading this, love ya.

I attempted the ombre look. It was more like the sombre look if I’m honest. It was all going so well until I found a way to mess it up. In fact one of the very helpful and nice Revlon ladies had to come over and help me. Like the slow kid in a classroom. I was that girl.

While we were doing our nails, we were entertained by the band Shenfm who you have to check out. If only because they are super-hot. Music isn’t bad either :)

 

So after numerous attempts at trying to create some nail art, I finally succeeded and came up with this masterpiece. Yes that is a smiley face with eyebrows. Take that Pinterest!

Massive thanks to the wonderful peeps at Cosmopolitan who invited us and made this whole evening special. Special shout out to all the Revlon girls for not laughing at my nail art and being so patient with me. Also massive props for the insane goodie bag. I didn’t take a picture of the contents because as soon as I peeked inside it was a goner. Hopefully this picture will suffice.

How we roll at events.

 

Why I'll probably not be invited to another event.

Enjoying the life (while we can).

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things I Want To Try Out

This smokey eye makeup with glitter. 

I heart a smokey eye and I am obsessed with glitter. But not sure if I can pull off this bold look.

DIY Lace Candle Holders.

Apparently these are really simple and cheap to make. I'm dying to host a party by candlelight and think if I ever did, these would be perfect.

Messy Beehive

So I'm having a bit of a throwback phase. I think a regular beehive is a bit too much but this messy one has the perfect balance of retro and modern. Paired with a skater dress, it would be phenom.

Swing Dancing

Nothing looks as much fun as this. And I've heard about some lessons in Cape Town. But my crippling fear and lack of coordination means I'll probably never make it to the lessons.

 Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here.

Get On Down To Queenspark

There's a fab Auru cosmetics deal at Queenspark just in time for Christmas.
Go! Go! Go!


Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Three

Dear Future Boyfriend Part 3


I realize in my previous posts I have been a bit demanding and finicky. I realize I should just be grateful that my soul-mate has come into my life and all that nonsense. But I think divulging all this shit beforehand will really make our relationship withstand the distance and prevent fights about when we’re ready to have children and why you should never, ever leave the cheese container empty. But as this is a relationship and not just you adoring me for the rest of our lives, I have decided to board the ship (see what I did there?). I’m going to meet you in the middle and fill you in on the things I will and can do for you. After all if you’re willing to listen and abide to my craziness over here and here then it’s really the least I can do.

*Firstly I want to let you know I won’t moan about how much sports you watch. Granted it’s not the only thing you do. As long as there is a time where your ass isn’t on the couch with your remote in hand and you experience fresh air, I’ll be all good. I understand that watching sports with a beer in hand all day is akin to me watching Hell’s Kitchen all day in my underwear and the contents of my fridge spread out before me. We all have to unwind somehow. I won’t mind if you want me to even watch with you. I understand the offside rule, I can remember the season when Man United won the Treble and I even know that there’s a Cricket World Cup on. Also I love men who aren’t afraid to wear short shorts and I particularly love when hot men get all riled up about stuff that they swear and shout. Passion is sexy. There may be a few times when I nod off during a rugby game or surreptitiously check my blackberry during a non-league match but for the most I’ll be cheering with you.

*I’ve learnt to cook. Really, I have skills now. Before, my definition of cooking included adding bits of bacon to instant noodles and reheating frozen pies. Now I’m frigging Nigella Lawson and I have the curves to prove it. I can make you an array of dishes from risotto to home-made ravioli. I do this great herbed sweet potato mash and can make tender soy and honey chicken that’ll make you want to cry. I can even make my own pizza bases with my own home-made tomato sauce. And when we’re done with that...I’ll make dessert. Whether it’s cupcakes or cinnamon rolls or even those baby chocolate cakes that are all gooey inside for you Future Boyfriend I’ll do it all.

*I take care of the way I look. Mostly. I’m still trying to lose all my puppy fat and that weight from Christmas but I’ve started to work out again so at least we’re getting somewhere. But in all other areas I make an effort. I use Redken products for my hair which I know might sound like a foreign language or concept since a lot of boys I know seem to prefer the dreaded 2-in-1 variety of hair care. But it’s really good and costly. I always paint my nails and put on my face. Mostly out of common decency…me first thing in the morning can be quite scary so I’m doing my bit for humanity. I’ve thrown out any clothing items which may have been fad trends and I always avoid fashion that doubles as man-repellents. Most important, I’ve thrown out any graying, shapeless pair of underwear and replaced it with the sexy kind like in Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I only have one pair of fat pants.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Trying to be Positive

So yesterday was officially renamed The Day From Hell. So many bad things happened and I was on the verge of tears too many times.

I don't want to relive any of it, so instead of wallowing in self-pity - which I did for most of the evening yesterday, by the way depressed does not go well with a wrap dress - I have decided to remain positive. Especially since after all my shit went down, I saw someone who clearly had real problems. That put mine into perspective.

So I did what any skinny bitch would do, I put on my big girl pants, extra mascara and some high, high heels and I'm dealing with it. Actually that's a lie, my pants are not that big ;).

So in order to be happy I'm going to list some things that make me happy. Please feel free to add to the list. Have a great Thursday!

Lattes from Vida



Chuck Bass


Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster


Glee



Henry Cavil

Roland Mouret's Galaxy Dress

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

One Of Those Days

It's one of those days where no matter what, I'm feeling fat, irritated and tired.

Firstly it seemed like nothing in my wardrobe fit or looked good this morning, I messed up my eyeliner and only realised at work. Luckily I have some concealer in my draw so I could fix it up. A Skinny Bitch is always prepared.

Then I had to come to work and be tormented by Creepazoid (think weird person who stares at you for no reason and multiply it by 100, you're almost there).

I have work piling up and no motivation to do it.

All I want to do is get a latte and read fashion blogs.

I'm cheering up a bit 'cause tomorrow I'm attending a fashion launch and no one can be sad by the thought of that. Only problem is, have nothing fabulous to wear and my hair is doing its own thing.

Suppose nothing's going to change unless I stop being a grumpy gills and put on my big girl pants and deal with it.

Hope your day is a lot better.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

In & Out

I saw Ashwini do this over on her blog Clearly Beautiful and thought I’d shamelessly copy it.

In

Sales. Lots of fabulous clothes and homeware items are so much cheaper. Need to hit the shops.

Scrambled eggs on toast. My ideal choice would be with white bread and creamy eggs but since I’m trying to make lifestyle changes, I’ll settle Low GI bread and no sauces.

My new maxi dress. Have yet to wear it but just looking at it in my wardrobe is enough to get me excited.

Blue eye shadow. It makes an all-black ensemble pop.

Out

Money. Seriously. I am all out of it. One of the drawbacks about getting paid early in December.

The scar on my forehead. I burnt my skin whilst trying to curl my hair. I now have a ugly scar that makeup cannot cover up. On the plus side, my hair looked great, nice and natural-looking waves.

Push Play not sending us new DVDs. I saw Hairspray is next on our list. How can you deprive me of that? I want to get my Zac Efron on.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Beautiful Blogger Award

Skinny Bitches were tagged by Miss E over at Little Lady for the Beautiful Blogger award.

What a great way to start a Monday! Thanks E. You is awesome!

Make sure you go and visit her blog for some doses of loveliness.

Now the criteria of the award is that we thank the giver and link back to her blog (as above) and then we list seven interesting things about ourselves.

Here goes:

1. Nothing gets me more motivated for gym than listening to ABBA on the way there.

2. My favourite episode of Friends is the one where the girls lose their apartment to the guys through Ross' trivia game.

3. I have learnt to bite my tongue and not let every little thing get to me. But it is an ongoing struggle.

4. I love love love Oreo McFlurrys.

5. It's one of my (more superficial) dreams to be on The Sartorialist.

6. I'm terrible with money.

7. I have always loved makeup but now I'm learning how to apply it properly. And I'm not sure how I survived without MAC.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

An Open Letter...

To all the people who complained to me today. All 100 million of you, please stop it. I listen everyday and every day I try and help but for just one day please stop. I cannot take it anymore. And I’ve actually stopped caring that these are not 100% perfect. Because I know even if they were, you would still find something to complain about. So in the words of Madonna, I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me.

To the person who judged my salad with feta. Yes I know there was more feta than actually green things. Yes I know it’s not the low fat one. And yes I know that it cannot be good for me. But isn’t it enough I had a salad and not just slabs of feta on its own. Without being disgusting, I could eat feta just like that. It’s that good. So maybe concentrate on your own lunch rather than mine. And don’t you know Feta Makes it Better!

To the hot guy driving next to me on De Waal drive, just name it and I’ll do it. Sounds crass but trust me he would be worth it.

To my friend at the MAC counter, thank you. Liquid eye liner has changed my life. And I finally got to wear my green eyeshadow. I don’t care if it’s a bit too much for work. It makes my eyes more prominent and I love it.

To the people who invade my personal space, what is so important you need to be up in my business. I try to be polite but I will never tell you it’s bothering me. So I move away and yet you move closer. We look like we’re doing a retarded type of dance. Other times I cannot be bothered to move away and in turn I become bitchy to counteract your proximity. I do not want to be a bitch and I am also not inviting you into my area. That is reserved for my hot water bottle and Robert Pattinson. And if I wanted you in that area, you would know it. Because I turn into a silly little girl and play with my hair and make “ooohh” noises. Plus I lean forward a lot so you can see “the girls”. Until I’m acting like a hussy, keep your distance.

Things That I ♥ and Things That Bug Me

Things That I ♥:

I love dramatic makeup. I love smokey eyes even more. Unfortunately I have the sort of eyelids that cause my eyeliner to smudge and the eyeshadow to disappear into the crease. Very disappointing when I’m working a full day and want to show off my smokey purple look. Now I don’t have to worry about it. I recently purchased MAC’s Liquid Eye Liner in Boot Black and I have fallen in love. I can do thick or thin lines and neither smudge or rub off. I can even do winged tips and get them right on the first time. No more cotton buds and makeup remover for me.

Buying new underwear. I know I shouldn’t be spending unnecessary money. I should be trying to save for a fabulous holiday next year but sometimes I cannot resist. And considering that I went through the whole of the recent sale season without buying a thing, I need to charge me some happiness. Luckily I was still able to enjoy the last dregs of some sales. I went to one of those fancy shops in the Waterfront’s Millionaire Mile. Something I have not been able to do in a while due to my lack of funding. Halfway through the month I may not be able to go out but at least my knickers will look good.

The rainy weather. Gives me an excuse to wear a fabulous black knit over a LBD with some black boots (with eye liner of course). And also means I can have hot chocolate tonight with a marshmallow and not feel guilty. I mean, look at the weather. It’s hot chocolate weather.

Things That Bug Me:

Why does it seem like every second girl in Cape Town has a blunt fringe and bangs? And these are also the girls were think that wearing tights as pants is acceptable. It. Is. Not. Tights are not pants not matter how bitchin’ they look. And I’m serious on the last part, wet look tights are to die for. If you can afford the chopped layers and fringe lop surely you can afford a longer top to cover your tights ass seam. Or maybe a skirt. Better yet get some skinny jeans and they will have the same effect. And they will actually be pants.

Skinny Bitches watch a lot of TV. We’re those types of girls. We cannot afford satellite and our parents are being evil and will not buy it for us either. So we decided the next best thing was signing up for PushPlay. I think it’s the equivalent of the Netflix except you get them delivered to your home or office. Now PushPlay have this fabulous free week trial where you can have, at any time, three DVDs in your possession. Sounds awesome. Except we have signed up looking forward to watch some rom-coms over the weekend and nothing has arrived. What a let-down. In case anyone who works there is reading this, we will still use your service, mostly because your range of TV series is unrivaled. But please, be a love and send us some DVDs.

The rainy weather may be nice for my outfit of the day but it also makes my hair frizz. Also I want to stop wearing scarves and remembering to carry my umbrella. I want to see the sun and be warm and get a tan. And I want to buy fabulous pairs of gold and silver sandals.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things That I ♥ and Things That Bug Me

Things I ♥:

Pride and Prejudice. Whether it’s the book, the Keira Knightley version, Bridget Jones adaptation or the one where Colin Firth dives into the lake. They are all amazing and all evoke good feelings inside the tummy.

How a pair of lumunious pink tights (like the pair I’m wearing today) can make your whole day better. Patterned stockings and brightly coloured tights with boots are totally going to be the things I will miss most about winter.

Getting to wear make-up again. I spent the whole of the weekend looking like a swamp creature. Finally my hair is straight and clean, my face is no longer pale and I can wear makeup again. I took full advantage of this fact but doubling the eyeliner and applying bronzer everywhere. I was so overdone for work and I didn’t even care!

Cupcakes. One of my favourite things about working where I do is that when it’s an employee’s birthday we get cakes. Lots of it. And right now, nothing tastes better than a chocolate cupcake. Mmm, there are even Astros on top. Today is going to be a good week, two birthdays to celebrate. Lots more cake.

Things That Bug Me

People who cannot express themselves articulately enough so they make every second word a curse. Now do not get me wrong, I have nothing against swearing. When I’m drunk, I sound like a fisherman’s wife. And sometimes there is no better answer to a shocking story than the F word. But if you feel the need to insert a cuss after every word

The fear of leaving the bathroom stall with my dress tucked into my knickers. It hasn’t happened yet but I’m petrified. Even more so, I doubt anyone would tell me as to be polite. Then I’d get home, Blue Eyes would say something and I’d be filled with mortification for a year. The only consolation I have is that I’ve thrown out all my ugly underwear and if it does happen, people will be getting a glimpse of some sexy lace numbers.

That for the first time in my life, I really, really want to go to gym and I cannot. The fat kid inside of me has been waiting for this to come forever and now thanks to my doctor I will only be working out next week. I may have gained a gazillion more kilos by then.

Boys who are bigger drama queens than girls. I am all about the drama, it’s one of the things that make me special. When someone else takes away my production time and that someone is not one of my beloved gays, then I get really mad. I have spent the last couple of hours listening to a grown man moan more than my two-year old nephew when it’s bath time. Are my ears bleeding? Because it certainly feels like that.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Bon Vendredi!

That's French for Happy Friday. I'm classy like that.

What better way to celebrate Friday than by winning something. We're not giving anything away 'cause we're broke but Kim Gray is. Kim is a fabulous stylist and blogger. Check her out here. Anyhoo, she's giving away this amazing eyeshadow trio from The Body Shop. And I really want to win. But I don't mind if one of you guys do. Sharing is caring and all that nonsense.

All you have to do to enter is repost this competition on your own blog, twitter it, StumbleUpon or subscribe to the blog. Then you have to leave a comment for her. Voila! It couldn't be easier.

Good luck!

Beaucoup d'amour!

Fabulous New Blogs!

When you have nothing better to do at work because your job can be so tiresome and some of the people you work with have not developed social skills you ... read more blogs!

These are some new additions to the Skinny Bitches archives:

Babalub.com - Hot Mama is someone I work with and someone I mention frequently when discussing my work life. Luckily for her, she doesn't have the same problems I do. Mostly because she's on maternity leave. She started her blog when she had her first child. But returning to work, having another baby and then taking care of two boys under two means very little time to blog. Luckily she's started again and now we can all read about being a young mom of two in the city.

Hele Says - OMG! I am a beauty slut. Actually I am a wannabe beauty slut. Mostly because my budget does not allow it and also I am too scared to try new trends. That's where this amazing beauty blog comes in handy. Hele gives great reviews, does fabulous makeup and studies at the same time. She's one of my heroes!

Juz, Jax & El on Planet Capri - Three hilarious, creative flat-mates, who drink too much and then draw about it. What more do you need.

It's Friday! I'm in Love (with lots of guys)!

Friday. As there ever been a better word said to a person who is continually bored at work and wasting away her talent. By talent, I mean being Queen of the World.

Whilst I've been answering phones, booking lunches I'm not invited to and organizing board meetings the world has been mismanaged.

One nice thing about my job, the internet. At the moment we have no restrictions which means I can listen to Youtube whilst I type out letters. I can read stress-management blogs while my desk neighbour irritates the crap out of me and I can browse gossip sites. For me, this is the reason the internet was invented.

And this week, I have fallen in love. If we were counting my celeb crush total and the number of times I have fallen in "love", I would be a virtual crush slut.

These are the hot men I have been salivating over this week:


Mark Ronson is an old favourite. I'm a huge fan of geek chic and I think he personifies it well. One of his little sister is a designer. The other dates Lindsay Lohan. If there was a burning building and he could only save one of his sisters, I know which one I'd vouch for. Luckily is family hasn't come between us yet.


Ed Westwick. Ah, Chuck Bass. I don't think I need to go on. But in case you still haven't been convinced, here he is at the Glamour magazine awards in London earlier than week. Tanned, stubbly and utterly jumpable.


The last thing I'm in love with is not a guy. More than two crushes a week is even enough for me. It's this fabulous primer from Mac. It's called Prep + Prime and retails for R250.00. I haven't bought my own yet. I'm saving my money for the big move. But I have tried it out and it's amazing. It makes your skin feel silky soft and foundation just glides on. No more blotchy patches.

To end this Friday off, here's one of my all-time favorite songs. It calls for singing horribly off-key at the top of your lungs.

Enjoy!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!