Things I'm Into...

…the Dukan Diet. With Thailand just over a month away and my thigh circumference increasing at an alarming rate, I knew I had to take drastic measures. After seeing my sister lose nine kilos in four months, I was very keen to try out this magic diet that let you eat as much as you want. In reality it’s all about eating as much proteins as you want and then introducing certain vegetables. I’m still on the Attack Phase where you can literally overdose on protein and so far it’s the easiest diet I have ever followed. Unless of course you count my See Food and Eat It Diet which I dominated  I’m still having cravings for sugar and am trying to accept that carbs are my enemy but it’s all in the name of beaches, buckets of cocktails and cheap shopping.

…Criminal Minds. A friend of mine introduced this to me and I am hooked. I’ve been watching back-to-back episodes and absolutely love it. Obviously I’m still far behind people in the real world but it’s still exciting. And can we all take a moment to appreciate Shemar Moore and all his talents. Especially the ones in his biceps.



…Garfunkel and Oates. A female comedy duo that write and sing songs. They’ve been around for ages but every now and again we need a reminder. Check out This Party Just Took A Turn For The Douche or my personal favourite Pregnant Women Are Smug.

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Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Two

You know more guidelines and advice for that lucky (?) guy.

*I heart Bradley Cooper. So if you are not him, you’ll have to deal with me talking about him. You see, I’ve been undertaking some charity work in order to provide me with good karma for the rest of my life. Well sort of. I really want to do charity work but I’m like crazy busy and there never seems enough time. But I intend to do something because by some twist of fate (karma that’s you) I’d really like it for you FB to either be Bradley Cooper or at least resemble him. See I have had this thing about him for ages. Ever since he first appeared in Sex & The City, then Kitchen Confidential then even as the douche in Wedding Crashers. For some reason I cannot look away and the obsession’s starting to get bad. I’ve started to think of the many ways we’d meet and fall in love and how I’d handle the press intrusion into our lives and what to do if our sex tape ever got leaked (which wouldn’t be the dirty kind by the way, more a video of me eating cheese and filming Bradley while he sleeps). So shit is bound to get weird and I’d just like to prepare you for it.

*In that great tradition of double-standards, my shit can be weird but I’d prefer if there are things you didn’t do. If you tend to eat chocolate cereal and just love when the milk turns all brown and tastes delish, please use your spoon to drink it and not go directly for the bowl. If you say shit like “catch you on the flip side” or pronounce croissant with a French accent even though you’re not French, it’s over. If you listen to Nickelback, haven’t watched 30 Rock or wear a peak cap backwards, it’s okay. Not everyone is perfect. But if you do all three, see ya!

*You have to like my gays. Unfortunately and fortunately I seem to attract the homosexuals. I think it’s my extreme penchant for ABBA, musicals and cocktails with dirty names. Instead of a moth I’m a disco ball and instead of a flame, they’re flaming queens. I don’t usually complain about my gays but it is discerning to note that most of my BBM contacts have Lady Gaga as their profile pictures. But they’re an important part of my life and I’ll need you to accept them. You don’t need to love them because then I’ll worry that I’ve turned another one but you do need to like them. Or at least pretend you do.

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Things I've Realised...

...making homemade ravioli is fun and can be easy. If you have a pasta machine. Chefs and foodies are not messing around when they say the dough needs to be crazy thin. We started with what seemed like the Kate Moss thinness of pasta but turns out we really needed the Nicole Richie circa Skeletor era of thinness. A pasta machine would have also been handy 'cause rolling out those shapes is a bitch. But once you're filling then up and boiling them, then adding heaps of pasta sauce and then sprinkling Parmesan on, you forget about all the other things.

...Precious is one hectic movie. There are lots of hand-over-mouth and eyes-closed moments but there are also some funny moments and inspirational moments.

...you never need a reason to google Henry Cavill. But because he's been chosen as the new Superman, people are not as judgmental.

...when you have a crappy day pizza, a romcom, your roomie and some chocolate can make it all better. I tried this yesterday and went to bed in a happy place.

Hope everyone has a fab week.

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Things I Heart...

I’ve always wondered what my favourite food is and then I stop. I don’t like to play favourites and being a Fat Kid inside means I love all food equally. One of my top five dishes however has to be nachos. No matter what, I am always in the mood for some nachos. There is the moment when the tortilla chip meets the cheese and salsa and then they bump into sour cream and guacamole and just when you think the party is complete the chicken pieces gate crash. That moment is known as perfection. In my opinion, the best nachos in Cape Town can be found at Neighbourhood, Buena Vista and Beefcakes.

Hipster Hipter. Think the name says it all.

Ugly Betty. I never stopped loving this show. But when I left mommy and daddy’s place to live in the real world i.e. my own flat I had to give up a lot of things. Satellite TV was just not conducive to my grownup budget so I’ve missed a lot of this show. Luckily thanks to some connections I’m watching again and don’t ever want to stop. I’m just about to start the final season and I am already getting saddened by the fact I won’t have Marc and Amanda in my life. Think they’re the main reason I watch the show.

My family. Even though they are crazy, loud and drink too much. If you had to compare us to anyone it’ll be the Walkers from Brothers and Sisters. Seriously, there’s drama, wine, family dinners where someone gets offended and adorable grandkids. The majority of the time they drive me crazy but once we start with the wine, everything calms down.

Bradley Cooper. Not that this one needs an explanation either. We recently watched the A-Team and my love for Mr Cooper has just been magnified. Wowza! He is definitely on my Lust Have list!

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Things I've Realised...World Cup Edition

Picture from here

World Cups make you tired. I have been out every night for the past two weeks. And I'm not counting a trip to the shops or the takeaway place around the corner as out. I've been out dining, partying and watching games. Almost always creeping in at an ungodly hour and praying my liver is not divorcing me. At the moment, I've taken a couple of days off from the party circuit and my liver is starting to talk to me again. But I'm afraid if we have one more slip-up we're headed for court.

South American men are hawt. It's not just the women who are all exotic and pretty, it's the men too. Not sure what they're drinking over there but it's working. Instead of going for traditional nationalities like Brazil or Argentina, ladies we suggest you look at Chile. Hotties galore and really nice. Also approach Brazilians with care, they are extremely forward. If that's what you're into, go find one now and have a good time.

I'm totally broke. Like January broke. But if possible even worse. All that partying takes its toll on my bank balance. Not to mention I've had to buy lots of memorabilia. All those soccer shirts, flag mirrors and flag leg warmers don't come cheap. Tomorrow is pay day and if you're looking for me, I'll be sleeping outside the ATM.

My hormones are going crazy. Apart from my wallet, these have been the worst hit by the World Cup. Everywhere I look there are hot men. I'm not just talking about the soccer hotties, it's the fans and supporters that are making me blush and wear revealing clothing. In winter. The nice thing is many of them are friendly and are here to have a good time. Some of them aren't as friendly and we have been subjected to varying degrees of dodginess including someone asking if we'd like to know a little German and then pointing at his penis; and someone offering free hugs but then trying to slip in the tongue.

Picture from here.

Yoann Gourcoff almost had me licking the TV. This French hottie was given a straight red in the game against South Africa and on replays some commentators were struggling to see why. Looking at him, I clearly know the reason. His beauty was clearly too distracting for anyone else on the field. After he left, we did go on to win the game. Although France didn't deserve to go through to the next round, Yoann is more than welcome to hang around Skinny Bitches crib.

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Things I've Realised

I listen to Lady Gaga too much. Yesterday my mom called me and when I couldn’t talk I said “Sorry I cannot hear you I’m kinda busy, k-k-k-kinda busy.” May need to switch back to my 80s collection for a while.

I love dressing up in winter. Yes, it’s freezing and it’s a mission to even get out of the warm bed but afterwards it’s all worth it. Layering is a big thing in our flat. Also we love accessorizing with scarves, gloves and hats. So I think deep down I’m a winter baby. Also I get to wear my beloved boots. Major drawback about summer, you cannot wear boots. Well you can, but you might get called a hussy.

That negative people need to move away from me. I’m not talking about sad people or people who have real problems. I’m talking about the moany cows that always look on the bad side of life. Instead of trying to cheer them up, I’m walking away. I’m not a biatch I have just realized that these people will always find a way to be grumpy gills so instead I’m avoiding them. They will not bring down my ray of light.

I’m stuck in a coffee rut. I love my Vida but I’m thinking I need to branch out a little. So this weekend the gays and I are heading out to find a new haunt. If you have any suggestions (particularly one that serves food) in the City please let me know.

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Image from weheartit

Things That I ♥ and Things That Bug Me

Things that I ♥

My favourite fictional TV couple used to be Pam and Jim from The Office. They have been dethroned by Kevin and Scotty from Brothers & Sisters. They fight, they makeup, they love Lady Gaga and they’re both ridiculously good looking. Also they make for very entertaining TV.

The Quattro muffin from Vida. For those not familiar with it, it’s basically a four cheese muffin made by angels. It’s best served with a latte and heated up a bit so that the cheese melts. It doesn’t really go with my diet but you’ve got to live a little.

Lady Gaga’s Alejandro. It reminds me of Madonna’s Isla La Bonita and any reference to Madonna is a winner with me.

Things that bug me

The fact that I didn’t take the day off. Tomorrow is a public holiday and a long weekend would have been ideal. Our office is pretty deserted today except for the Johnny-Come-Latelys like myself who didn’t take leave in time.

People who eavesdrop into your conversation and then make comments. If we wanted your snide comments we’d invite you to the party. But seeing as this is Invite-Only, I’d prefer if you didn’t gate-crash.

The weather. One day it’s raining and I get to wear a lovely coat. Over the weekend it’s sunny and I got to rock a maxi dress. I don’t mind what the weather is, I have fabulous outfits to accommodate all types. What I would like is some consistency.

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Images from weheartit

I'm Thinking About...

...if I meet Gordon Ramsay, I will tell him I love him and then ask him to use the F word repeatedly. It sounds so much sexier coming from him.

...I have a list of coworkers who bug me incessantly. And yet I have not sworn, shouted or thrown my printer at them. I have amazing restraint ;)

...If I had to have plastic surgery to look like any celeb, I’d either go for Rachel McAdams or Cheryl Cole. To me, they are beyond words pretty.

...I need to buy the Big Issue every month. It’s the little things that count.

...My new shoes are tres sexy secretary.

...Crazy good looking men (like models) make me so nervous I cannot stop talking. Worse I speak really loud and don’t make sense.

...Olivia Palermo is my new style icon.

...Massages are awesome. Having massages at work are friggin’ awesome.

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Image via We Heart it.

Things That I ♥

Coffee

In the past couple of weeks, my love for coffee has turned into a full-on addiction. I have to make daily trips to Vida to get my latte fix. And that’s right I’m buying fancy coffee. My addiction is not only expensive it is also proud. No instant for me. After my second take away today I decided to put a spending ban on my wallet. Except me to look like one of the zombies from Shaun of the Dead without my caffeine fix.

The Beatles Songs

I’ve been playing Across the Universe soundtrack on repeat. I absolutely love the movie and anytime I hear the Beatles I smile. I’ve also discovered Rufus Wainwright’s version of the song Across the Universe and I have fallen in love with it.

The Easter Season

Finally a reason to enjoy chocolate without the guilt. My dietician is surprisingly not such a big fan. But I drown her out with some more chocolate.

Four Day Weeks

This is our second of three four day working weeks in SA. It’s bliss. Nothing gets you out of bed quicker than the thought that tomorrow is the last day before a four day weekend. I cannot wait!

Receiving Packages

I love getting mail. I hate when said mail is bills or junk though. I’m happy when it’s Pushplay with our new dvds and I’m even happier when it’s a package! Last week I received my dress from Africhic.com and today I received a fabulous Essie nail polish from the Bronx Ladies Footwear team. It’s a beautiful purple colour and it’s called Footloose. Considering I’m a huge fan of the movie and the song, I was over the moon. Will definitely be doing a mani this weekend.

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Things I've Realised...

I just need to hear the theme song from Flashdance and all I want to do is dance.

I really like being single but, I wouldn’t mind someone telling me I’m pretty every now and again and holding my hand at the movies.

Jennifer Aniston chooses the wrong movies.

Sometimes all you need is a little faith.

Drinking in the afternoon is awesome.

I’m going to start taking more risks.

Even though I struggle to get up in the morning, I am really starting to like gym.

I miss my number one gay best friend. Come to Cape Town please!

Whenever I’m feeling sad, fat, fugly and as if I have no direction, the opening scene of The Devil Wears Prada perks me right up. I’m so gonna be one of those women when I grow up.

I never want to hear the phrase “I have a large phallus.” It was overheard in the kitchen, repeated to me and now I am disturbed.

Popcorn with salt ‘n’ vinegar flavouring: delish. Inhaling salt ‘n’ vinegar flavoring by mistake: not as delish. In fact kinda painful.

Happy Thursday!

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Things That I ♥

Good Times

Last week our office went out for a team-building event at LaserQuest. It was totally awesome to spend some fun time with the coworkers I like and I got to wear my jumpsuit and legwarmers which is always a good thing. I tried to use the name “Skinny Bitch” but it was just too long so instead I used Princess. Princess ended up coming fourth which I was really happy about it. Also the game was much more strenuous than I remember from my childhood days so I think I also lost a bit of weight. It would have been a plus if not for the pizzas and drinks we had after the game. The best part was hanging around in the bar afterwards and using the jukebox. Not sure what the allure of them are but I spent way too much money playing 80s songs and dancing by myself. Everyone else was playing pool but I’m crap at it. So I danced to Just Can’t Get Enough and You Shook Me All Night Long. Good times.

Bite-size treats

Chocolate covered romany creams. Romany creams are a chocolate biscuit with a chocolate bit in the middle. Now imagine them bite-size and covered in chocolate. I don’t think I need to go on.

Movies like Pretty Woman

Skinny Bitches watched this last night and realized apart from the whore part, we are so like the Julia Roberts character. We’re the type of girl who has random facts about body parts and the kind who sings Prince off-key in the bath and we’re totally the girl who says “Oh honey I got a runner in my pantyhose. I’m not wearing any pantyhose.”

Burberry Prorsum Autumn Show

The coats. The body con dresses. The thigh-high boots. The military theme. It’s tres love in the dark after lights out.

That's What She Said...

If you're familiar with The Office or any boy for that matter, you'll have heard the phrase That's What She Said. It is best utilised after someone has said a seemingly innocent comment which can be misconstrued to be sexual. Yes, it's juvenile but it's also versatile and tres funny!

Unfortunately it can also get you into trouble, like the person below who got detention. Still funny though.




Via The Huffington Post.


Happy Thursday!

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Things That I ♥

Buying New Products

I went to the shops the other day to get my basic toiletries. I came back with a whole lot more. I love buying and opening new products. The pretty packaging, the new smells, it's all so fabulous. And they just make you feel like a goddess afterwards. I even went a little crazy and bought some paraffin wax for a home pedicure. If you've ever had a pedi with paraffin wax, you'll understand why. The Social Butterfly forsees a huge mess in the future and on my carpet but I plan to prove him wrong and make my jealous with my home job.

Full Fat Coke

I have tried in vain to switch to Coke Light but it's just not working for me. Considering I always have sweetner instead of sugar and drink sugar-free juice, I'm going to let this one go. Obviously I'm not going to go over abroad and undo all the dieting I've done. But every now and again I'm totally going to have a regular coke. The small can of course.

Bad Romance

There is no way I am getting over this song. And I've played it a gazillion times. That normally does the trick for me. This time, I hear the song and all of a sudden I'm performing the choreography from the music video and doing the "Rah-Rah..." part. Major snaps for Gaga!

Feel-Good Post Secret's Like This:


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Things That I ♥ and Things That Bug Me - The Little Things Edition

Things That I ♥:

At the moment, nothing can beat a slice of crispy toast with a smooth layer of peanut butter and a latte for lunch. Munching on this while reading a Marian Keyes book is heaven. And a great way to relax when work is hard to handle.

Gossip Girl season three. Oh how I’ve missed Blair and Chuck. They really make the show. Serena’s okay but her outfits are a little slutty and she pulls this weird face when she’s trying to be all serious. And yeah for Hilary Duff! I totally loved Lizzie Maguire even though I was too old for it. But I couldn’t help it, the cartoon character was sooo cute. And I liked her platform sandals.

Christmas is around the corner. I am so excited to celebrate a Christmas in my own home. It’s definitely my favourite time of year. Everyone is happy and nice to each other. And I always get this warm, fuzzy feeling. I cannot wait to go shopping for the tree for the flat.

Finding the Cruel Intentions soundtrack when I thought I’d lost it. OMG, it is still as awesome as the first time I heard it.

Pringles…the salt ‘n’ vinegar flavour. Enough said.

Things That Bug Me

Grown-up mean girls. Seriously high school is over. Why do you have to say mean things to me to make you feel better. Can’t you just say it about a celebrity like the rest of us. You’re in your thirties so perhaps it’s time to grow up.

Not having the money to go shopping. An oldie but still a good one. I’m trying to save for Christmas presents so as a result, there are no new clothes or shoes this month.

My horoscope not making sense. Are good things on the way? I know it’s the person’s job to be cryptic but a little bit of a hint wouldn’t hurt.

Not having any more episodes of Glee. I need to know what happens next.

Creepy guys. Enough said.

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