So it happened sometime before Christmas, I was wrapping presents and watching Love Actually. My Christmas movie of choice when one of my favourite parts occurred. Or what used to be one of my favourite parts.
You see in the recent months things I have found romantic have somewhat waned and I long for movies that tell the truth like He's Just Not That Into You and Up In the Air. Romantic comedies with real-life endings. So when the guy who's in love with his best friend's wife shows up with cue cards professing she's perfect, part of me, went "lame" while the older cheese-lover inside of me went "awwww".
At that moment I didn't think the gesture was romantic, I thought it was too much. In my reality, if he had shown up with a pizza the boy would have gotten some, not just a sad kiss on the cheek. Therefore in case there are any future boyfriends out there or if Bradly Cooper has woken up and realised he belongs with me, here is my list of new romantic norms. This is what will get my heart racing and make me smile:
*Pay off my credit card. Seriously I have a little problem - what others call a spending addiction but I’m not big into labels- with money when I have it, I tend to use it. For some reason I cannot comprehend the term “saving”. Also I have big dreams of being Oprah rich so I tend to live like my bank account is full of moolah when really it’s in the overdraft stages. Therefore any man who’s willing to surprise me with a bank deposit slip is getting lucky.
*Accept my quirks. Now I don’t do or have any weird things that I’m ashamed of like offering up sacrifices to the moon god naked or watching Two and a Half Men (if I ever do any of those, you’re free to bounce) but I do have things that not many people understand. So I’ll need you to leave me alone when I’m watching Come Dine With Me because for some reason I prefer to watch it by myself; and I’ll need you to not judge when I eat an entire jar of gherkins by myself (you should proud if anything) and if for some reason we’re together when Making Love Out of Nothing At All is playing let me sing the "I can make the runner stumble. I can make the final block. And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle. I can make all the stadiums rock” by myself. Mainly because most people don’t do it justice.
*Bring me presents. And I don’t mean flowers. I mean things I can actually use. Like nail polish remover, I always forget to buy that and let me tell you, chipped nails are not good. Also cheese, because it’s a tasty treat, it makes me happy, gives me some much-needed calcium and feta always makes things better.
*Acknowledge my beauty routine. And I’m not talking about a two week stay at a fat farm. The little things count. I have really thick long hair so to wash it, dry it and then GHD it takes forever. Telling me it’s looking shiny, healthy and straight would be amazing. Saying you cannot see my split ends would be a lie but also would mean so much.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Image from here.
