Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Tanqueray and Lindt Tasting

If there was ever a reason to believe in angels, it happened to me about two weeks ago. I was just checking my mail when bam! Into my inbox pops an invite to a gin and chocolate tasting workshop. This was my reaction.

Then I looked closer, this was not just any chocolate nor was it any gin, these were the big guns, the forerunners, the Tony Sopranos of the gang. I was going to a Tanqueray and Lindt Tasting. Can you deal? Because I can’t. I spent the whole of last week dropping names even when the conversation topic was nowhere now my subject. ‘Oh your aunt died, you know what you should serve at the wake? Gin. Speaking of…”

So I got together with one of my best gurls Sara and we made our way to the Lindt Chocolate studio at the Cape Quarter. When we arrived, I had to take a second. If you follow this blog and my tweets or had the sad misfortunate of seeing me at the shops, you’ll know, I am a fat kid. I live for carbs and sugar and chocolate is my church. So when I arrived at my version of St Paul’s, girlfriend had to take a moment and show some respect.


Once I had embarrassed Sara enough we made our way inside and found our seats near the front. As soon as we sat down, we were given these delicious gin gimlet cocktails. I’m sure we were told what was in them but all I remember was birds singing, the sound of the ocean and all my cares floating away. They were that good.

Then we got down to business. Tanqueray, already a master in quality and taste, teamed with Lindt’s Excellence chocolate range to create taste explosions in the form of new cocktails paired perfectly with different chocolates from the range. Thanks to a mixologist (a fancy term for a barman to the rest of us) and Lindt chocolatiers (super fancy chocolate person) we were given the background to gin, chocolate as well a demonstration on how to create these new cocktails and why these chocolates are so perfectly paired.

While we sipped our gimlets, we were given a history of gin. Did you know there are four types? Tanqueray is a Dry London, which means I still have three others to taste. I consider this research. We also got to have a look at what makes gin, gin. It’s a whole bunch of seeds and stuff. The finished project is a whole lot more exciting.

Next up was a mini lesson in how Lindt chocolate is made. I was really interested and keen until I got distracted. Right next to the lovely chocolatier, there was this machine from which chocolate poured out. Like liquid. I wanted to stick my head underneath and just lay there. But that type of behaviour gets you uninvited from PR lists so I had to stay put.

Enlarge the pic.
 Then it got a little bit dirty. With the help of the fancy pants barman we learnt how to make cocktails. Apparently just pouring alcohol and a mixer is not a cocktail. Weird ;)

  This is Sara doing her thang at an apple and gin mojito and the final product. This drink was delish and was paired with the Lindt Mint Intense. 

Next up I had a go at trying to make a coconut and honey something. I really must take proper notes at these things. Boys, please note the wrist action and that I am available for dates. Also bring the Coconut Lindt, it’s amazing with this drink. 

Sara then attempted her hand at this wasabi, cucumber concoction. She loved it. I pretended to when I was asked about it. Also the Wasabi chocolate is something I have avoided for ages. I tasted it here and while it’s tasty Imma gonna stick to my coconut one. 

The final cocktail of the night consisted of raw eggs (for reals), caramel vodka, coffee liqueur, gin and something else. At this point, I had had three cocktails and really was game for anything. Until I remembered there were raw eggs involved. Can you tell how nervous I was. This one was definitely an acquired taste. But the white chocolate that came with it was insane. That is a winner.

So while my alkie-side was taken care of, my fat kid side was looking for some attention. She got it in the form of a chocolate fondant. We watched the boys mix stuff, fold stuff and put things into a piping bag. Let me tell you, it’s sexy. And the best bit, it only took 8 minutes to bake. And then whoop! There is it, chocolate fondant with coconut ice-cream. I literally had to will myself to take this picture before eating it. The smell was so intoxicating my will power disappeared. 

Sadly then it was time to go but not before being rewarded with goodie bags. I say reward like I did something heroic. Inside the bag were recipe cards for Lindt and Tanqueray, a slab of Lindt and a whole bottle of gin. You see what I mean about reward?!

To all the angels I now believe in, thanks for getting us in and for having us. Your work is amaze.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

My Life Right Now

Couples everywhere. Urgghhh.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


We all have someone we identify with. For most of the girls my age/generation it's Jess from New Girl or Hannah from Girls. For me, it's Minday Kaling or Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project. I've already expressed my love for the show over here. But now it's become something else.

This isn't just someone I identify with. She is someone who I think actually stole my eprsonality, issues and occasional dress sense.

I present my case below.

1. Weight

I am not skinny. I will never be skinny. I have accepted my body weight and shape. I am curvy and you know what some boys like it. Also when I diet, it's to lose weight and make sure my heart is healthy and I don't die and not because I want to be skin and bones. Although I would kill for an inner-thigh gap.

2. Why I'm Going To Hell

Caring about the environment is the worse. I really want to but am super lazy. So I try in my own ways like always using a material shopping bag and recycling when I remember. I want to care but it's so hard. Gossip. I'm not even going to explain why it rocks. It just does!

3.  My Thoughts On Self-Discovery

I'm all about the eating and loving bits. The other stuff just sounds like too much work.

4. My Love Life

Everyone is coupling up and I get dirty texts from weirdos late at night and hang out with gay guys. I am basically the best friend in every romcom and am there for advice (which I am good for) and laughs (which I am super good for. Urggghhhh!


I'm not saying they *stole* my life but the evidence is pretty self-explantory.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here, and here.

Monday, July 15, 2013

My Life in Gifs Part Cinq

The day after I exercised for the first time in months 

Why I haven’t gone out clubbing in a while 

When I’ve had a bad day and car guards/construction workers/the homeless guy near my complex hits on me

When I get a text message after 22h00 asking if I “wanna hang” 

The most serious relationship I have ever had  

Watching The Help when I have PMS 

How I act when my crush messages me

How I really am when my crush messages me

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Thirteen

There are some things I’m not willing to compromise on. These things include lying, cheating, murdering, listening to Simply Red and stealing. I wish this was where my dealbreakers end. Sadly we all know I have some issues so it’s a long list. These are separated into various categories. Some I will deny their very existence (like sport shirts on any day other than match day) while others will lead me to try and not lose my cool but slowly make me resent you and the life we lead together. Sexy isn’t it. But I suppose if you are the one and all that nonsense I will live with these quirks as long as you don’t do any of the serious ones above and also can deal with me side-eying you for all eternity. Love ya!

In no particular order these are things/qualities/attributes I would rather you not possess. Do your best and play along:

Be mean to wait staff
Pick your nose in public (I wish I could say ever but baby steps)
Throw a cigarette butt out the window
Be a vegan (Vegetarian I can handle, vegans are so smug)
Not like sports
Make fun of my singing (I know I am tone deaf, I know I cannot hold a tune, I know I sound terrible but I love it)
Take off your shoes in a public place (by public I mean shopping centres, movie theatres, restaurants. Beaches, parks and most outdoors places are okay)
Sign off your mails with “Ciao”. Even worse spell it “Chow”
Try and pronounce quesadillas in a Mexican accent
Preferring the American version of The Office over the British version


Give away TV, book and movie spoilers
Need to hold my hand all the time
Not have a favourite Beatles song
Have no kissing skills
Do not celebrate Christmas
Not eat bacon
Say you don’t cook/clean because that’s woman’s work
Be a coffee snob
Not be prepared to do a karaoke duet of A Whole New World
Keep correcting me when I pronounce quinoa as “keenwa”. I know what I’m saying mofo
Understand if Henry Cavil ever comes a-knocking it’s gonna happen. And by it I mean lots of adult stuff
Not drink (you *will* judge me)
Be weird around gay guys (trust me they’re not into you)
Not give me shit about not liking avocados (they are weird and have no taste)
Don’t watch series and/or movies about superheroes or medieval times as you prefer “real stories”. Bitch please
Doesn’t read this blog ;)

Now come on and date me!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Bean There

Here’s the honest truth: I want to be a good girl but I’m too lazy. Let me explain.

I want to help people and make a difference even if it’s a small one. But I don’t like to work too hard. This is my same philosophy when it comes to the gym and losing weight. Which explains a lot about my current waist circumference. So I do want to do things but the actual “doing them” is the problem like the time I volunteered for a soup kitchen and hated every minute of it. I’d much prefer to give money and buy The Big Issue which is what I do these days.



So in keeping with that attitude I thought our next Coffee Club visit should be at Bean There. If you don’t know what they do, they are a Fairtrade company and coffee shop. All the sourced coffee beans are certified Fairtrade which means all the actual peeps involved with the planting, growing and producing of the beans are paid what they rightly deserve. So you feel like doing a mini-airpunch when you get your latte and shouting “We are the 99%” nonsense.

Back to the coffee shop, the interior is bright and lovely. There are several places to sit from the cosy couches, corner nooks and proper tables and chairs. There is one of giant coffee grinder machines and you can see which beans are being used. As a coffee addict I wanted to dive in to those beans. They looks so good. On the other side of the shop is a massive wall full of coffee products and merchandise you can buy.

Now we use Bean There’s coffee at work for our machines so I’ve always known it was tasty and delicious. Having a latte there is a whole other experience. It had just the right amount of foam, was smooth and tasty and I think I finished it in one gulp. It was that good. I think it was my second best latte of my life. The first spot being held by that one time at Yours Truly. The staff were also very friendly and nice and have some super coffee art skills. Apparently there are some snacks like muffins and cupcakes available but we didn’t get a chance to try them.

 If you’re looking for a little spot to just take a break and relax – while doing something good – this is the place for you.

Bean There
58 Wale Street
Cape Town
07h30 – 16h00

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!