Wednesday, May 26, 2010

An Open Letter to Boys

We’re single girls and while we’re not on a serious lookout for love, we cannot resist the charms of the boys. Not all the boys as we have found out in our recent nights out. We know that it takes a lot of courage to go up to someone you don’t know and try to get their attention. We’ve done it too (once I went up to a beautiful man only to find out he’s gay – totally broke my heart) and it’s nerve-wracking especially when you think you’ll be rejected. So do not see this as only an open letter of advice to the boys in clubs and pubs who think “they’re the man” and can get any girl they want but more of what not to do list in case you were looking for a line.

Just so you know girls do not feel bad about turning down a guy who tries to chat you up with an awful line or gesture. Here’s a little secret, just saying hello and introducing yourself will do wonders. It may not work but you’re more likely not to get a drink in your face or have the manager ask you to leave. That’s right, harass us enough and we will go diva.

So I’d like to say a big Dude Please to the following types of guys:

To the guy who thought “I’m like Visa, I’ll take you places” was going to get him some action, dude please.

To the guys who think that by dancing close enough to us, we’re going to magically let you into our circle and become your love slaves, dude please.

To the guys who follow you around in the hopes you’ll turn around and say “You’re just what I was looking for”, dude please.

To guys who grab your hands and call you beautiful, not as bad as some of the others, thanks for noticing my looks but seriously, dude please.

To the guys who wear wedding rings, dude please.

To the guys who bite you, (this happened to Blue Eyes) that’s gross if we don’t know you and it leaves marks our mothers will see, therefore dude please.

To the guys who are drunk, you don’t make sense and more than not, spill your drink on us (it takes effort to look like that so blotch it up) so, dude please.

To the guys who wear mesh tops, Crocs or white Saturday Night Fever suits, these really bug me and I’m not sure what girl with style and class would want to get all up in that so there a loud dude please!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

(Image via weheartit)