Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Something to Make You Giggle

When I'm down or on leave or just wanna laugh so much my eyes water, I watch 30 Rock. I wish I could keep this show my little secret. It's that good. And Tina Fey is awesome.

In the second season, there's a clip of a song Tracy Jordan recorded when he had a record label. It's Werewolf Bar Mitzvah. And every time I think of it, I cannot help but giggle.

The video and lyrics are below.

Happy Wednesday Bitches!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

I was working late on my Haftarah
when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
I opened it up and to my surprise
there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
but tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan
tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
but tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Sometimes I Just Forget...

When I work out, I need to be visually stimulated. Considering I belong to a ladies-only gym and I am not a lesbian, there is not much to keep me motivated. And that's when the angels intervened and installed TVs on the cardio machines. Last night while walking (you don't need to run on a treadmill, an instructor told me), cycling and working my ass off on the stepping machine, I was blessed with CNN, Discovery, MTV and the Ellen show. And let me tell you, garnering little insights into these worlds has made me realise a couple of things:

1. Just how hot Brandon Flowers (The Killers) is.

Not that I never thought so but I'd totally forgotten. I think it was around the time they brought out that Human song. I mean honestly, "Are we human or are we dancer?". I don't have time for that nonsense. So I went on an anti-Killers campaign for awhile. Last night hearing him say, "Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones" launched me into a full-on obsession which resulting me googling how strong his marriage is and murdering Mr Brightside at top volume.

2. How strange it is to find people who do not like Lord of the Rings

Seriously, what is up with you people. I know together it's almost ten hours but it's an epic movie. Clue in the title! I'd understand if you were talking about the books. I managed to finish them but not without some effort. They also make good weapons as I found out when I had a fight with my brother. But that's a long story, he was being uncooperative whilst playing Desert Island, bring logic into the game. In short, people who cannot for a second, get out of reality and escape to a fantasy land have serious issues.

3. Girls who dress up for the gym bug me

I'm a firm believer in looking good. I don't have a lot to work with but I still make an effort. Except of course at the gym. And why should I. I work out with women. I wear stretchy pants and I go all red when I sweat. already the odds are against me. So last night as I was huffing and puffing away on the rowing machine, a princess came down to row beside me. She had on a cute pink outfit, with matching headband and sneakers. Top marks for outfit. Very Olivia Newton John, Let's Get Physical. That wasn't the reason I was judging her. The reason was right before she started to exercise she put on some lip gloss. Not of the Labello variety. More along the Juicy Tubes variety. She wasted tres expensive lip gloss that eventually she was going to sweat away. I cannot even afford Juicy Tubes and she uses it so casually. Bugging.

4. The Supreme Court in California sucks

I was on the treadmill when the verdict came in on Proposition 8. And I have to say, what the hell? Are we still seriously arguing this issue. Why does marriage have to be defined in certain terms. Shouldn't we be celebrating that two people managed to find love. Although I am single, I do dream about getting married one day. A big OTT affair where all my bridesmaids will be jealous. I cannot even imagine how sad it would be if someone took away those dreams. I think what makes it more frustrating is the fact that this is America we're talking about. This is meant to be the superpower most countries look up to and yet people have to fight for basic rights. Even South Africa, with it's history have allowed gay marriage and we've only been a democracy since 1994. Come on people, get over yourselves.

I'm off to gym again tonight, I wonder what thoughts that's going to bring!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!