As I'm slipping my skinny latte and avoiding any hard work (by hard I mean anything that requires me to close my internet browser and actually concentrate on my job) I visited F My Life to make myself feel better. I'm currently suffering from oily skin 'cause of the evilness that is winter so I'm feeling sorry for myself. Here are some gems to make you feel better about yourself 'cause sharing is caring and it's the skinny bitch thing to do!
Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone.
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis."
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received.
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
