Friday, April 26, 2013

My Life In Gifs: Speed Dating Special

I am a happy single girl. Not one of those "why won't he love me", "when am I getting married", "why am I all alone", and the worse "I'll just get some cats". 

So when it comes to boys and dating I like it but I am not obsessed about being with someone. Saying that there are times when I want someone to hold my hand at the movies or make out with at bars or really just bring me coffee in bed and tell me I’m pretty. Usually my girls and gays give sufficient attention enough but hardly any of them will make out with me. So perhaps I need less selfish friends.

So along with one of my buddies we decided to try out speed dating. Now I am good at talking shit for 5 minutes with anyone but even I was nervous about this experience. But because I had nothing to lose (except my dignity) I doubled-up the gin and got my speed dating on.

Bachelor 1 – Hot Asian Guy

Now as you know I have a dream of one day having an Asian baby of my own. So you can imagine my joy when the first guy I sat down with was Asian. Not to mention a Hot Asian. It was like ding, ding, ding, jackpot! He was very sweet, a little nervous but he laughed at my jokes. Also we have a love of food blogs. Can you imagine our beautiful little Asian babies running around while we look at Desserts for Breakfast.

Bachelor 2 – The Good Guy

Next up was a guy whose family tree is filled with designers, fashion, graphic and interior. And then him. He chose to be a teacher. And not just any teacher, he helps the underprivileged. He visits Tsunami kids in Thailand and teaches sports outreach to kids in townships. Swoon! These may be all lines but trust me, they worked!

Bachelor 3 – The IT Guy

You know that IT guy in your company that is nice and all but there’s not much there and you’re only really chatting to them because they download Game of Thrones in HD; that was this guy. He was nice but unless I need new episodes of The Good Wife I don’t see love in our future.

Bachelor 4 – The Foreign Guy

Remember in the World Cup when there were all these cute guys from different countries and it was up to us girls to make them feel at home? Oh? Just me then? Whoops. Well at least I was a good ambassador. This guy travels around a lot and does year stints in different countries. I am sure we bonded but I think I was too distracted by his accent. If he were to call me and say random words, it would be a very long term relationship.

Bachelor 5 – The Hard-to-Read Guy

Sometimes when I go out to very hipster places I feel I have to act like them. Which means I have to be unimpressed and act nonchalant about all the cool things we are doing. Sometimes I really don’t care; sometimes I am pretending. That is how I felt about this guy. He was either very depressed to be there or playing so cool, he was Vanilla Ice. Also he doesn’t watch 30 Rock so that made up my mind.

Bachelor 6 – The Bleh Guy

Urggh. No words. Actually a few words. Do not give me lectures about 80s music. Do not get all offended when I don’t know the year Love Will Tear Us Apart was released. And do not look like a hot silver fox with a beard and delicious biceps whilst being a douche.

Bachelor 7 – The Prospective Guy

We bonded over the British version of The Office, we laughed about the people who go to Tiger (even though we both spent misguided years of our youth there), about the amount of Hen Parties at Decodance and how no one wants to hear play-by-play commentary on toddler’s bowel movements on Facebook. Me likey.

So for a first foray, I give speed-dating a big thumbs up!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


...this is all there is to it. Minus the crazy eyebrows.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Friday, April 19, 2013


It’s not every day a café’s burger draws you in to try their coffee but with our latest Coffee Club venture that is exactly what happened.

A couple of weeks ago one of my work besties brought a takeaway burger for lunch and offered me a piece. If I could describe the feeling when I first tasted it, it would be that bit in The Wizard of Oz where everything is black and white and then she wakes up in Oz and it’s all colourful and amazing. That is how good it was. And as a Fat Kid, that means a lot.

So when I found out they also open up early, I thought why not give it a try. Latitude33 is located on uber-cool Bree Street. So I’m not gonna lie I was expecting a whole bunch of the so-hip-it-hurts crowd but perhaps we got there a little too early. Or maybe they’ve already moved on, they’re that cool. The crowd was actually nice and mixed and we sat next to a group of businessmen who always have a breakfast date there every Friday. It’s like a grownup version of coffee club.

Anyway back to the coffee. We ordered some lattes, some Americanos and a soy latte. The feedback was mixed. I enjoyed my latte but those having the Americano and soy latte were not as pleased.

The décor on the other hand we all agreed was awesome. If you like laid-back and comfy this is a the place. If you like surfing, this is your mecca. The café has a massive Bali influence and there’s so much more upstairs. That’s right, there’s an upstairs area that sells clothes and art. 

If you wanna go and try the coffee and report back, please let me know. I’m hoping it was just an off day. If you wanna go and have a burger, please call me. I will not hesitate.

165 Bree Street
Cape Town
021 424 9520

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Things I Have Recently Discovered...

1. If people have a problem with you, 90% of the time it is nothing you have done but merely something they are insecure about. So you should go on and be your fabulous self and let them get on with their problems. Because at the end of the day, it is THEIR problem.

2. My new approach to life is to channel Beyoncé. Which is probably why I end off most of my conversations with a hair flip.

3. Negative people will try and bring you down. I am relatively happy. I have my off days but I almost all of the time I can cure my blues thanks to cheesy music, takeaway coffees and looking at Asian babies online. So when I hear people are having a bad day or seem a little down I try and offer my own remedies only to have them thrown back into my face. These people clearly want to remain in their own pool of wallow and they will resist any form of a lifesaver. So avoid them. They will tire you out, they will wear you down and pretty soon you'll be a Debbie Downer too.

4. This song. Which has the potential to change lives.

5. Girls can be girl's worst enemy. I think it's very sad that the way I dress, the way I wear my hair, the state of my makeup, the way I talk, the way I dance even is cause for you to try and bring me down. Instead of hating on me perhaps you should try and look at what you're lacking in your life that causes you to find fault with me. Because I am awesome.

6. I will do bad things for this man. Seriously. I don't blush easily and the things I am thinking about have me fanning myself down.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

My Life in Gifs Part Trois

Me Over the Easter Weekend 

If My Skinny Jeans Were A Person 

Update On My Love Life 

What I Should Update My Online Dating Profile To  

When Guys *SAY* They Like Girls With Curves 

When Couples Fight On Twitter  

When There’s Too Much Drama  

What I’d Rather Be Doing With My Time