Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Some of the Best Advice...

For your bleh days...

“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” 
For the days when people think you're a little emotional....

“Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.” 

For those days you get labelled bossy and controlling and really you're getting shit done...
"I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is a not pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind leading."
For when you need to reevaluate your body issues...

“You look like you look, and be comfortable. What are you going to do, be hungry every single day to make other people happy? That’s just dumb."

Nuff Said.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here, here, here and here.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Apartment Therapy

One of my biggest motivators to work and to work hard (because sadly they are different things) is that one day I want to buy myself a little cottage. And by buy I mean I want to save for that deposit (because there is no way I can do more than that in one go) all on my own. No parents helping me, no trust fund from a distant relative, no rich boyfriend or husband. I want to work hard and do this myself.  On a side note, I don't have any disdain for all those other reasons, I would probably still accept all of them if I needed to, but this one is about me.

I want to buy my own little place before I marry Michael Fassbender and we have to split our time between his acting career in Hollywood and my writing career around the globe. Because I'm gonna be a best-selling author and on tour constantly. I want my little place to be a reflection of me and my personality. I want this place to be where I feel happy, where I can lounge, where I can feel safe and where i get my seksi on.

One day. One day.

In my dream first home I want my lounge to be the embodiment of relaxation and comfort. It's the place I'll collapse after a hard day at work or the place I go when I need to entertain the girls and the gays. It's the place I want to go where I watch bad TV with no one talking and judging me. I'll see it as my refuge.

My kitchen needs to look like a cupcake exploded in there. It's no secret I like pretty, sparkly, girlie things but I do know this can be a bit much. So instead little touches can make my dream kitchen come again.

My bedroom is always a funny point for my friends. Whenever I mention my ideas for it they burst out laughing. Why? Because I want my bedroom to be a boudoir of sex. That's right. This is the place where my inner Dita Von Tees comes out (because she's hella sexy amirite?!). This is not the place to chill out and watch Nashville; this is not the place where my fat pants are allowed; this is not the place I nurse my hangovers; this is the place where magic happens. It's about a sexy headboard, it's about candles and a chenille throw and dark purples and gray on the wall.

So I'm just gonna keep on working and dreaming :)

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Fourteen

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Now it seems a lot of girls and guys actually do this thing where they say they don’t want anything for VD; it’s a stupid day. I’m not going to lie to you. The day is over the top but I want something.

Now this is where the easy bit comes in. I am easy. Not like that unless I’ve made my way through happy hour (that will all change when I meet you baby). I like little things. I like handmade things. I like sparkly things. Basically I like presents. So the way I react to a getting a small Snickers is very similar to the way I act when  receive a trip around the world. I am all about celebrating the little things and happy moments in life. Sidebar – this quality will either be endearing when you’re struggling to find some joy or it will be crazy annoying when you want to sulk and I tell you to count your blessings. The best part is we’ll only know once we’re older. It’s an adventure!

So when you and I are celebrating all those fabulous Valentine’s Days in the future, you’ll know that all you need to do to make me happy is give me a homemade card or a single rose or a box of Snickers and I’ll be swooning. But if you ever feel like you want to up the ante on VD then I have put together a list of some great romantic gestures from pop culture. Not trying to scare you or anything but holidays and special occasions with me are gonna blow your mind. You’ll want to be prepared.

Beauty and the Beast

At this point in the movie, Beast wants to do something a little special for Belle. She’s kinda feeling him but he and his boys knows, it’s the grand gesture that really wins the girl or at the very least shows exactly how you feel. So Beast does his research and thinks about what this lady would like; and he produces a libraby for her. As a self-confessed bookworm, there is no other way to drop those panties. Nice one!


Click to Enlarge

In a flashback, we get to see the extent of how much Ross cares for Rachel. When the poor girl is stood up right before her prom, he does the gallant thing and dresses up in his dad’s suit and gets ready to take her to the prom. Now we all now, that gesture didn’t go exactly as planned and they never went to prom together. Years later though Rachel was deeply touched and much, much later, they end up together for good. Because they’re each other’s lobsters!

Pride and Prejudice

Okay so first Mr Darcy storms in all hot and shit and proposes to Elizabeth Bennet. But he seems to forget that throughout all the time him and her have spent together he’s a big old dick. He thinks she should grateful by the proposal (which in those times, she should) but his way of admitting he loves her (but trying to repress it) fucks everything up. Lately as they get to know each other properly he finds a way to save her family from ill-repute and does a very generous thing. Again, in those times, their reputation was everything. And the best bit is, he doesn’t want any recognition for it. Humble, generous and sexy; 10 points for Mr Darcy.

The Notebook

Noah is one of those great guys who has so many awesome qualities that it’s hard to single out the one. So let’s not. Let’s go through each one of these gestures and marvel at what a great beacon of inspiration he is.
1. He builds Allie her dream house in the hope she’ll come back to him.
2. He knows how much she loves to paint so he creates an artist’s room for her to spend time with her passions.
3. He’s a bird because she’s a bird.
4. When they’re old and she suffers from Alzhemier’s, he checks into the same care home and spends each day reading their story to her in the hope it’ll all come back to her for a few moments when they’re just themselves again.
Noah and Allie forever.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Images from here, here and here