Monday, December 29, 2014

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Fifteen

Oh FB, I'm not gonna lie. I have become a grumpy single. Trust me this is not how I wanted things to turn out. I used to be the happy single. I was like the fun friend who didn't mind hanging around couples. I loved hearing about engagement stories and wedding planning. I was a joy to be around. And I hardly ever bemoaned my marital status. Because I always had faith that you were out there.

Then something changed. I'm guessing everyone who is single for an extended period of time goes through this phase. You're all happy-go-lucky and then suddenly there's an onslaught of Facebook couples, the ex you were always sure was a backup plan suddenly moves in with someone and you start wondering when did everyone move on with their lives and you're the last one on the single bus.* Then you realise it was probably when you were staying home for the third consecutive weekend on a Netflix and pizza binge.**

So instead of just getting on with life and waiting for things to happen as they should. I decided to conduct some research. By research I mean go on a lot more dates. I thought I'd help fate along. Instead of getting more exciting about the prospects out there, it made me a little sad. And a grumpy gills. The thing is, despite being a bit of a realistic I still hold out hope for that everlasting love, that constant butterflies in my stomach feeling. That ooh la la. I did not find it yet.

To be fair, many of these guys were great. Some were dicks. But the truth was, I was going into every new date with very unrealistic expectations of love. I'm not talking disney expectations which are next level. I'm talking about other pieces of media that made me believe.

And so I'd like to present to you, some movies, tv shows and comics that have given me unbridled hope and made me the way I am today. I apologise in advance for my attitude and for the reaction gifs.***

Sex & the City

This is a great show. It is very real. In most parts. We'll ignore how Carrie manages to live so lavishly on a writer's salary or the designer clothes. The situations and men they come across are very real. I have experienced some very similar situations that makes me paranoid. But what really got me was this statement from Big:

This is a great sentiment. But it's all lies. Like seriously. Lies. I have heard many women say this when looking for a partner. I have heard zero men say this is the number one quality they look for. Which kills me because I have jokes for days. Because of this line, I always assumed this would beat out a thigh gap. I can tell you from very personal experience, the thigh gap always wins.


I love X-men. I love Gambit. Like you known when most girls were getting turned on by Aladdin and other Disney princes, I had that same reaction to Gambit. And one of the things I really loved about him was his relationship with Rogue. Here was a girl who couldn't touch another person and he still loved her and (and this is the important one) he stuck around. Sure they had their ups and downs and obviously this would change depending on which canon/generation/series you were following but the one I am a fan of, they stay together.

I know there are many guys who are willing to wait and are okay with not doing adult stuff. These guys rule! 100 points for these guys. I also know there are just as many guys, probably more who will not stick around. And I know there are girls who won't either. After years of watching X-men and shipping this pairing my outlook has been ingrained with a guy like Gambit. He's cocky, a bit of a douche but he has this one redeeming quality that I love. Which is probably why when searching for a guy who values other things above physical stuff I actively ignore all the other crazy signs. I feel this one's on me and I am working on my issues.

What's Your Number

This is one of those movies not everyone was a fan of. I thought it was hilarious. The gist is Anna Faris does not want to sleep with any more guys so she goes looking for her future husband through her list of exes. Chris Evans is her neighbour who is half naked a lot of time and helps her. Naturally they end up together. And he has no issues with her number.

My problems with believing a movie like one's neighbour is a hot guy who answers the door starkers. I have lived on my own for several years. My neighbours have always been older women. Not even a nipple slip. Also I have never heard of a guy who embraces a girl's number. I've met several guys who will embrace it for a night but who marry those girls, pffftt.

The Office (US)

Pam and Jim. I actually can't with this one. We get it. You guys are cute and meant to be. You work together, have the best wedding and continue to love each other. Enough!

Not only does this provide someone with unrealistic expectations of how much fun you can have at work all the time, it says that your perfect soulmate could be right under your nose. Have you ever taken a long hard look at the people you work with and realise one of them is who you will end up marrying. No thanks! This show is irresponsible.

I'm out!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

*Obviously I know this is not true.
** Again not true.
*** I promise I will not be bitter and moody all the time. I just need to get this out of my system.

Images from here, here, here and here.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas!

Sending love and good present karma to everyone from Vancouver!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

My Canadian Bucketlist: Vancouver Christmas Market

So I think we all know by now I am a huge Christmas fan. One of my reasons for coming to Canada was to experience a white Christmas. Sadly I choose the wrong city to do that in. There has been a bit of snow but on the whole Christmas in Vancouver is pretty much like Cape Town. Today for example, the sun is out. It's still crazy cold though. Like next level cold for an African.

Like Elsa, the cold never bothered me anyway. I was and still am very excited to try and experience as many things about a cold Christmas as I could. That includes The Vancouver Christmas Market. This is one of those things I have been dreaming about. I was picturing little stalls, carolers, mulled wine (which I don't drink but it sounds festive) and happiness.

I have to say, the market was a little underwhelming. It was pretty and there was carolers and mulled wine but that was about it. The stalls were good, lots of good food, all very German but not enough to wow me. The rest of the stuff was pretty much what you'd see at any other market, just several times over and totally overpriced for my liking. Also all the peeps dealt in cash which is ridiculous. Yes there were atms but the struggle. I'm in Canada now I can complain about First World Problems.

Gluten Free Candy. Because you know Canada.

On the whole, I was glad I went so I can tell people that it's a fun thing if you like Christmas things. Whether it's the stuff of Christmas dreams though, not so much.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday, December 1, 2014

My Canadian Bucket List: See Snow

So it was your average Friday night, I was about to leave a friend's place when I heard someone mutter "Oh it's snowing." like it wasn't anything important. I tried to remain calm. But secretly I was aching to leave to see if it was true. And it was!

Coming from South Africa, I have never seen snow. We have it but we have never crossed paths. Although for as long as I remember I have dreamed of it happening. I feel the same way about Michael Fassbender.

Once outside I have never been happier. Well at that moment, I couldn't remember a time when I was happier. I think this picture says it all.

From the movies I was expecting soft blankety snow that fell around my face and sounded like angels singing. What I got was frozen raindrops that melt as soon as they touch you. But I didn't give a shit, snow really is magical. And I loved it. When though I arrived home wet and cold with my hair frizzing, it was worth it.

The next day was even better. My very first, winter wonderland.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Note: I would have taken more pictures if it wasn't so freaking cold. All this beauty comes at a price.