Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Problem With TV According To Moi

TV shows used to be my escape from the world. While, when I’ve run out of cupcakes. So it saddens me that when I try to revisit a beloved TV show (i.e. spend a weekend re-watching it because I am broke and payday is a week away) I manage to find so many things wrong. So I have decided to compile a list of things my favourite TV shows have done wrong. And yes, it’s been a long-ass month of me having too little money and lots of time…

…The Gossip Girl Writers Think we’re stupid. 

Nate probably thinking 1 +1 =?

There is this moment in season 5 of GG where Serena’s dad says her brother Eric cannot come home for an event because he’s stuck in Zaire. And then Serena corrects him  by saying “I think it’s called the Democratic Republic of Congo now”. Like she knew that. Her dress is literally cut down to her navel but we’re expected to buy that she knows where it is and that there’s a country called the DRC. Bitch please. The other thing that really makes me mad because I take the journalism world so seriously is that Nate is running a publishing company. Nate…I realise he comes from a world of privilege and connections but this isn’t an assistant position. He is the editor in chief. And he has yet to finish college. Or *not* fuck any female character with the exception of his mother on the show. Nice one.  

…Carrie Planned Her Trip All Wrong.

This could have been avoided.

 I have watched the final season of Sex and the City way too many times. And after all the shit Big has put Carrie through, she deserves a fabulous older ex-ballet dancer who can provide a happy life filled with new adventures, aka The Russian. So when they meet, he is a famous artist who hasn’t done a show for years and has infinite time to spend with her. He gets a new show in Paris and invites her to move with him. All of a sudden he is working all the time and not there for her every moment. So girlfriend who is understandably a little homesick gets all weird in his grill and then they break up and Big arrives, blah blah blah. Now if I were Carrie, I’d realise, hey my boyfriend is about to embark on an artistic comeback, maybe he needs a bit of space. I’ll move countries when he’s closer to the opening and then when it’s done we can carry on living our amazing lives together. See, problem fixed.

…Debra Messing Cannot Dress For Shit On Smash

Intervention starts now.

Her character is a successful playwright with musicals on Broadway. She is trying to adopt a little Chinese baby. She also has a double-storey house. In Manhattan. She can afford to stop wearing ill-fitting cardigan shrug thingys and palazzo pants. Also, enough with the scarves.

…The Other Carrie Is Clearly Not Allergic to Sulphur

Glug, glug, glug

So I have a slight allergy to sulphur. Which means I cannot drink more than two glasses of wine before I turn into a sneezy, red-faced wreck. I once drank an entire bottle of sparkling wine in half an hour because of boy problems and the result was not pretty. So I take my wine slowly. Carrie on Homeland does not. Firstly it’s pronounced Kerri which is weird in itself. Secondly, she drinks the stuff like it’s water. Taking big ol’ gulps like she’s been in the dessert and shit. I have never ever seen anyone do that to wine before. It’s just not right or fun. And I once lost a drinking game in Thailand and had to drink a bucket of other people’s beer.

Anything bugging you?

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here