As
we know men and women speak different languages. We say one thing but we mean
another. I realise certain men are predisposed to not notice the important
things – which are always little and subtle – and who can blame them. Women can
be very confusing. We have ideas in our heads which we understand and which
other girls understand. And we just assume that you’ll understand them as well.
So we say one thing but we can mean something entirely different. And for that
we should apologise.
I
don’t us to ever have miscommunication issues. And I know although I think I
say what I mean, it doesn’t always translate. So here are some examples for
you:
When
I Say I Like Bearded Men.
I mean this
Not
this
A
rugged manly man is something so delish. A well-trimmed beard and some light
stubble shows that you’re just the right amount of strong and yet you still are
considerate enough not to leave your lady with beard rash. Anything that you
can pull is bad. Like ZZ Top-esque and we’re screaming date rapist.
When
I Say I Like Nerdy Guys
I
mean this
Not
this
This
is one of those scenerios where we *definitely* say something but mean
something else entirely. Instead of nerdy guys I should say I like guys who
have watched Game of Thrones, read the
Lord of the Rings and wear glasses.
Also who are a bit shy and sensitive. I really don’t want to have to go to
conventions, play Magic the Gathering and listen to you talk about coding.
When
I Say I Eat A Lot
I
mean this
Not
this
I
am not a salad girl. I like a salad. On the side of a big steak and chips. I am
not exaggerating when I talk about my food addiction. And yes I will finish
everything on my plate. Food is my favourite time of day.
When
I Say I Like Romance
I
mean this
Not
this
I
like romantic things. Hell I even love Valentine’s day and I’m single. I think
if you can show off your love do it. I just prefer simple things like a moonlit
picnic or homemade love coupons or anything homemade actually. Things that you’ve
learnt or seen from movies are probably not gonna do it for me. Unless it’s a
flashmob singing and dancing along to a cheesy love song. That is something big
I can get behind. Please don’t offer to wash my hair, fill a room with too many
candles or use massage oil when you have no experience of how slippery and
messy it really is.
Got it all?
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
