Dear Future Boyfriend Part Eleven

As we know men and women speak different languages. We say one thing but we mean another. I realise certain men are predisposed to not notice the important things – which are always little and subtle – and who can blame them. Women can be very confusing. We have ideas in our heads which we understand and which other girls understand. And we just assume that you’ll understand them as well. So we say one thing but we can mean something entirely different. And for that we should apologise.

I don’t us to ever have miscommunication issues. And I know although I think I say what I mean, it doesn’t always translate. So here are some examples for you:

When I Say I Like Bearded Men.

 I mean this

Not this

A rugged manly man is something so delish. A well-trimmed beard and some light stubble shows that you’re just the right amount of strong and yet you still are considerate enough not to leave your lady with beard rash. Anything that you can pull is bad. Like ZZ Top-esque and we’re screaming date rapist.

When I Say I Like Nerdy Guys

I mean this

Not this

 

 

This is one of those scenerios where we *definitely* say something but mean something else entirely. Instead of nerdy guys I should say I like guys who have watched Game of Thrones, read the Lord of the Rings and wear glasses. Also who are a bit shy and sensitive. I really don’t want to have to go to conventions, play Magic the Gathering and listen to you talk about coding.

When I Say I Eat A Lot

I mean this

Not this

I am not a salad girl. I like a salad. On the side of a big steak and chips. I am not exaggerating when I talk about my food addiction. And yes I will finish everything on my plate. Food is my favourite time of day.

When I Say I Like Romance

I mean this

Not this

I like romantic things. Hell I even love Valentine’s day and I’m single. I think if you can show off your love do it. I just prefer simple things like a moonlit picnic or homemade love coupons or anything homemade actually. Things that you’ve learnt or seen from movies are probably not gonna do it for me. Unless it’s a flashmob singing and dancing along to a cheesy love song. That is something big I can get behind. Please don’t offer to wash my hair, fill a room with too many candles or use massage oil when you have no experience of how slippery and messy it really is.

Got it all? 

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!