My Life In Gifs: Speed Dating Special

I am a happy single girl. Not one of those "why won't he love me", "when am I getting married", "why am I all alone", and the worse "I'll just get some cats". 

So when it comes to boys and dating I like it but I am not obsessed about being with someone. Saying that there are times when I want someone to hold my hand at the movies or make out with at bars or really just bring me coffee in bed and tell me I’m pretty. Usually my girls and gays give sufficient attention enough but hardly any of them will make out with me. So perhaps I need less selfish friends.

So along with one of my buddies we decided to try out speed dating. Now I am good at talking shit for 5 minutes with anyone but even I was nervous about this experience. But because I had nothing to lose (except my dignity) I doubled-up the gin and got my speed dating on.

Bachelor 1 – Hot Asian Guy

Now as you know I have a dream of one day having an Asian baby of my own. So you can imagine my joy when the first guy I sat down with was Asian. Not to mention a Hot Asian. It was like ding, ding, ding, jackpot! He was very sweet, a little nervous but he laughed at my jokes. Also we have a love of food blogs. Can you imagine our beautiful little Asian babies running around while we look at Desserts for Breakfast.

Bachelor 2 – The Good Guy

Next up was a guy whose family tree is filled with designers, fashion, graphic and interior. And then him. He chose to be a teacher. And not just any teacher, he helps the underprivileged. He visits Tsunami kids in Thailand and teaches sports outreach to kids in townships. Swoon! These may be all lines but trust me, they worked!

Bachelor 3 – The IT Guy

You know that IT guy in your company that is nice and all but there’s not much there and you’re only really chatting to them because they download Game of Thrones in HD; that was this guy. He was nice but unless I need new episodes of The Good Wife I don’t see love in our future.

Bachelor 4 – The Foreign Guy

Remember in the World Cup when there were all these cute guys from different countries and it was up to us girls to make them feel at home? Oh? Just me then? Whoops. Well at least I was a good ambassador. This guy travels around a lot and does year stints in different countries. I am sure we bonded but I think I was too distracted by his accent. If he were to call me and say random words, it would be a very long term relationship.

Bachelor 5 – The Hard-to-Read Guy

Sometimes when I go out to very hipster places I feel I have to act like them. Which means I have to be unimpressed and act nonchalant about all the cool things we are doing. Sometimes I really don’t care; sometimes I am pretending. That is how I felt about this guy. He was either very depressed to be there or playing so cool, he was Vanilla Ice. Also he doesn’t watch 30 Rock so that made up my mind.

Bachelor 6 – The Bleh Guy

Urggh. No words. Actually a few words. Do not give me lectures about 80s music. Do not get all offended when I don’t know the year Love Will Tear Us Apart was released. And do not look like a hot silver fox with a beard and delicious biceps whilst being a douche.

Bachelor 7 – The Prospective Guy

We bonded over the British version of The Office, we laughed about the people who go to Tiger (even though we both spent misguided years of our youth there), about the amount of Hen Parties at Decodance and how no one wants to hear play-by-play commentary on toddler’s bowel movements on Facebook. Me likey.

So for a first foray, I give speed-dating a big thumbs up!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Sometimes...

...this is all there is to it. Minus the crazy eyebrows.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Latitude33

It’s not every day a café’s burger draws you in to try their coffee but with our latest Coffee Club venture that is exactly what happened.

A couple of weeks ago one of my work besties brought a takeaway burger for lunch and offered me a piece. If I could describe the feeling when I first tasted it, it would be that bit in The Wizard of Oz where everything is black and white and then she wakes up in Oz and it’s all colourful and amazing. That is how good it was. And as a Fat Kid, that means a lot.

So when I found out they also open up early, I thought why not give it a try. Latitude33 is located on uber-cool Bree Street. So I’m not gonna lie I was expecting a whole bunch of the so-hip-it-hurts crowd but perhaps we got there a little too early. Or maybe they’ve already moved on, they’re that cool. The crowd was actually nice and mixed and we sat next to a group of businessmen who always have a breakfast date there every Friday. It’s like a grownup version of coffee club.

Anyway back to the coffee. We ordered some lattes, some Americanos and a soy latte. The feedback was mixed. I enjoyed my latte but those having the Americano and soy latte were not as pleased.

The décor on the other hand we all agreed was awesome. If you like laid-back and comfy this is a the place. If you like surfing, this is your mecca. The café has a massive Bali influence and there’s so much more upstairs. That’s right, there’s an upstairs area that sells clothes and art. 

If you wanna go and try the coffee and report back, please let me know. I’m hoping it was just an off day. If you wanna go and have a burger, please call me. I will not hesitate.

Latitude33

165 Bree Street

Cape Town

021 424 9520

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Things I Have Recently Discovered...

1. If people have a problem with you, 90% of the time it is nothing you have done but merely something they are insecure about. So you should go on and be your fabulous self and let them get on with their problems. Because at the end of the day, it is THEIR problem.

2. My new approach to life is to channel Beyoncé. Which is probably why I end off most of my conversations with a hair flip.

3. Negative people will try and bring you down. I am relatively happy. I have my off days but I almost all of the time I can cure my blues thanks to cheesy music, takeaway coffees and looking at Asian babies online. So when I hear people are having a bad day or seem a little down I try and offer my own remedies only to have them thrown back into my face. These people clearly want to remain in their own pool of wallow and they will resist any form of a lifesaver. So avoid them. They will tire you out, they will wear you down and pretty soon you'll be a Debbie Downer too.

4. This song. Which has the potential to change lives.

5. Girls can be girl's worst enemy. I think it's very sad that the way I dress, the way I wear my hair, the state of my makeup, the way I talk, the way I dance even is cause for you to try and bring me down. Instead of hating on me perhaps you should try and look at what you're lacking in your life that causes you to find fault with me. Because I am awesome.


6. I will do bad things for this man. Seriously. I don't blush easily and the things I am thinking about have me fanning myself down.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here. 

My Life in Gifs Part Trois

Me Over the Easter Weekend 

If My Skinny Jeans Were A Person 

Update On My Love Life 

What I Should Update My Online Dating Profile To  

When Guys *SAY* They Like Girls With Curves 

When Couples Fight On Twitter  

When There’s Too Much Drama  

What I’d Rather Be Doing With My Time  

Postsecret of the Week

There were some hectic secrets this week. Some made me grimace, some made me sad but this one give me a little bit of hope.

Just keep swimming,

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Let's Hear It For The Boys

Ah fashion launches. They consist of immaculately-dressed people whose faces I recognise from magazines and online and long to touch to see if they’re real. Everyone carries a glass of bubbly and food is teeny, tiny canapés whose description always includes drizzled, infused and seared; all of which are served on a stick which I struggle to eat without messing on my dress. *

 

 

Then you get invited to a fashion launch that changes everything. I, along with my gay husband Sam, attended the launch of Bastion Menswear at Salon91art gallery. The collection was set amidst the Back in Five Minutes typographic art exhibition; which we think worked crazy well. We were greeted by the friendly and pretty – is there any other kind? Seriously where are the uggos?! - PR ladies and invited to view the collection whilst helping ourselves to drinks and snacks. And this is where things got sexy ;) Instead of the usual waiters swanning around with bubbles, there were premade G&Ts and pizza. Hello heaven! I’ve arrived. There were some other drinks but for me gin makes me win.

How amaze are these hangers! Almost left with one but it wouldn't fit in my clutch.

 Now about the clothes. Bastion is created for the guys and is a side project of Lauren Kotze and Nikki St. Quintin. That’s right side project. For me, a job, a bit of a social life and the plot in Revenge keeps me busy 24/7. If I do have some spare time, you’ll find me passed out on the couch from a carb-induced coma. So I give these guys props.

Saving this shirt for when we have Michelle Obama arms.

The collection is made using all natural fabrics like hemp and organic cotton. Normally someone says hemp and I’m like eek, bloody hippies. But the design team have created a very stylish and classic range. There are a lot of wardrobe basics so you can create outfits around these pieces. And while they’re like YDE price range (short for R390 and shirts form R280) they are muuuuch better quality. You can tell these will stay intact after a few washes.

If Sam doesn't buy this I will buy it for myself, pretend it's for my Future Boyfriend and then say I stole it from him.

 

At the moment, you can contact Bastion via their Facebook page for all your orders, otherwise look to the Biscuit Mill where they’ll be selling soon. There are plans to stock the collection in stores in the future too so when it comes to buying all the stylish men in your life gifts, you’ll know where to go.

Our fashion blogger poses. 

Our disinterested hipster fashion blogger poses.

Our there's more gin faces.

Thanks to the peeps from Butter Knife for having us and for being so generous with your gin.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

*Disclaimer: Although I make fun of them, I still love those intricate canapés on sticks and drizzled with infused seared nonsense. If I had my way I’d stash a couple in my handbag, go home and eat them in the comfort of my fat pants. But alas I have to act like a lady in public. 

Things I Want To Try Out

This smokey eye makeup with glitter. 

I heart a smokey eye and I am obsessed with glitter. But not sure if I can pull off this bold look.

DIY Lace Candle Holders.

Apparently these are really simple and cheap to make. I'm dying to host a party by candlelight and think if I ever did, these would be perfect.

Messy Beehive

So I'm having a bit of a throwback phase. I think a regular beehive is a bit too much but this messy one has the perfect balance of retro and modern. Paired with a skater dress, it would be phenom.

Swing Dancing

Nothing looks as much fun as this. And I've heard about some lessons in Cape Town. But my crippling fear and lack of coordination means I'll probably never make it to the lessons.

 Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here and here.