Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Love You Like A Fat Kid Loves Cake

You know when Oprah is moaning on and on about her weight and you wish it was a Favourite Things show. I used to be like that. But I was avoiding the issue. You see Oprah mentioned countless times on her show, that she had a food addiction. And the reason people don't loose weight or eat when they are not hungry is because they are addicted to food.

And so I stand up, Hi, I'm Green Eyes and I'm a food addict. Actually I'm not just an addict, I'm a Fat Kid.

The urban dictionary defines a fat kid as any person who, regardless of age, sex or stature, adores food with every fiber of their being. Note that being a fat kid does not imply anything about a person's weight; it is purely a state of mind.

So instead of just being a fine connoisseur of worldly cheese, I'll eat it like it's my occupation. But let's be honest, a little bit of cheese on something tastes amazing. Which is probably why my diet hasn't been much of a success. Initially I was all about sticking to the diet and losing weight. After the first four kilos and being able to fit into my skinny jeans again, I got a little sidetracked. I struggle with discipline so cheating on a diet with me is a prerequisite. And the way I justify it is pathetic.

After a 45 minute cardio session, I think I deserve a cheeseburger. If I've managed to stick to four, even five gym visits a week, I have a slice of white bread or even better feta. I'm a whore for cheese! When it comes to work, a snack will help me through the day. Dinner should be followed by dessert which is why after a completely healthy and balanced Low GI dinner, I'll try not to open the freezer and steal some ice cream without making a sound. I've almost mastered it.

And now, my fake diet and constant cheating have caught up with me. Although I'm short and it's harder for me to lose weight, I should not be doing it so slowly. My dietitian did some calculations and I should be without a couple more kilos than I currently am. So I decided to get tough on myself. Otherwise I'm just wasting everyone's time and my own money seeing a dietitian.

So the month of June was decreed No Cheating Month. This way at the end of the month I will be able to determine whether I'm not losing enough weight because I have a slower metabolism or whether it's the countless cups of milo or salt and vinegar lays. It is now day 11. So far I have managed to not fall into temptation and it's taken what little willpower I have to do it. It's getting harder with the constant stream of birthdays we have in the office. And let me tell you, if at the end of this I am not at least two kilos down, I will attacking the next birthday cake. Seriously they're going to have to bring in security after I'm done with it.

20 more days till my next weigh-in. Wish me luck!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!


  1. You go girl - stick to it! Also a fat kid, Lindsay and I are on Weight Watchers but i cheat with alcohol. Remember that nothing tastes as good as looking skinny feels - but sometimes a girl just gotta have some icecream. xx

  2. Proud of you chica! 11 days is great and the next 20 will just fly by (yeah, right!...I tried!) xxx

  3. haha totally know how you feel!!! SOO hard to stick to a diet when you love food so much! I'm short to (5'1") so i've got the same thing going for me. Good luck!!

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