Things I have learned living abroad...

...you change as a person. This can be in a multitude of ways. For me, I have been able to say what I want and to stand up for yourself. I have been able to speak up when things are not working out or when I'm not happy. I've always been a "don't rock the boat" type of person so this is a whole 180 for me. And it feels good. Without it sounding swarmy or cheesy, you realise your worth and that when you're undervalued you need to speak up or step out or seek changes.

 

...time is very important. Never underestimate how little we all have. When you're only faced with a year you realise weeks, months, days matter in a way they never could. You can't take months to make decisions, you can't let shitty moods take over your entire week and cloud it, you can't stay or do things in the hope that stuff just needs time to get better.

...you will miss your family and friends and your whole previous life in varying ways. There are times when I have a bad day and realise I have no one here that will be there for me no matter what in the way your family is "obligated" to. There are times when I wish I could be transported back to my old flat, my old room, even my old car to just feel like things are going to be alright. There are times when all you need are the arms of a familiar friend to wrap around you, tell you you are loved and make you feel okay.

 

...you will meet some of the nicest people in the world that you instantly click with and wonder where have they been your entire life.

...you will also meet some of the not-so-nice people in the world and thank whoever in charge that you have been spared them for the majority of your life.

...you will avoid all social media because it can be a sad reminder of the life you left behind and how surprisingly the world has moved on without you. 

 

...you will also stalk all your friends online to ensure you don't miss a single moment of their lives so things never change. and you'll have friends who are still friends no matter what.

 

...you will apply hundreds of jobs and question your worth, your skills and your competence. You will get rejected by Starbucks (happened to my friend, also called Allison), you will be forced into group interviews and you will never hear back from people.

...you will do some jobs where you get unlimited praise, you will feel like you have achieved something and you'll feel great.

 

...you'll realise the same problems follow you everywhere and just shows that the world is not that different. Work will be hard or unfulfilling, boys won't call you back or be mean to you, there will be mean girls, there will money problems, there will be traffic problems, you will get caught in the rain without an umbrella and you will question why you made these life choices daily.

 

...you miss little things like getting coffee with your work besties, swapping stories the morning after with your girls and gays, your crazy family lunches, the taste of your mother's cooking, hugging your niece and nephew and your favourite bars and clubs.

 

...you realise how important it is, to have your house feel like a home. You feel like you can do anything if you start off from the right place.

...little things matter. Whether it's getting a cup of coffee every day or hanging up pictures of your friends and family, treating yourself to new clothes and nail polish, if they are your favourite things, they will make you happy. 

 

...things happen for a reason.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

One Month In!

Yay for me, I survived a month in a new city without a job and friends. Disclosure, it’s a few days short of a month but 29 Days In just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Also I make I sounds as if the city I moved to has been taken over by a zombie army hellbent on killing me with no running water and no other survivors.

I probably could not have picked a better place to try this whole year abroad thing. First of all, everyone is friendly and lovely. Secondly it’s a bonafide First World Country which means luxuries for days. Thirdly, it’s summer which just makes everything better. And finally I’ve been working my ass off so I’m kinda reaping a bit of what I sowed.

To begin…I have sent out 74 job applications in the month I have been here. I have joined five temp agencies/recruiters.  I have been on 23 interviews including three group interviews which are the worst thing ever. I’m not sure why they are a thing. I have walked from one end of the city to the other in a blazer trying to look professional but merely looking sweaty and red-faced. I have printed a gazillion copies of my resume and references and I can now school people on my cover letter skills.

So after all that, I can say that I am on my first temping assignment and it’s all going well. I am enjoying not perusing Craigslist daily for a new job (until the assignment ends and then I’ll be bookmarking that shit) and it’s great to feel productive. Before this my only achievement was not eating junk food. As is life, I've also be contacted for more interviews while on this placement. Obviously I cannot go which means the universe is just taunting me again. Like that time I thought I had lost weight but my jeans actually just stretched.

In case you didn't realise, this is the pink strip in Vancouver.

 This job couldn't have come at a better time. Vancouver is very expensive. That’s all aspects of Vancouver. If you’re willing to shop around, you can definitely be smart about saving money. But housing and transport will kill you. The transport is great here. The trains are fast and always on time. The buses are mostly always on time. And they’re a bit more confusing. But I’m making my way. I am started to worry when it gets colder or wet. I’m not so sure I’ll be lamenting the joys of the public transport then. Unless you’re really lucky, you need public transport to and from your place of work. This is where the costs creep up on you like a dodgy guy at a club. The nice thing is once you move to the right Zone, you will be saving daily. The bad news is there’s just no way around the cost though.

So apart from being a working girl, I also moved. My dream was to live Downtown. The rents crushed that dream. Unless of course I was open to sharing a room, literally living in a living room or in a closet (no joke) I was not going to be able to afford it on my savings. So I started to look around (never giving up hope on that Downtown dream though) and I found cheaper, worse, okay, better and nicer places. 

This is bike polo. Which is real. Apparently. 

Some of them had weird rules, others were a health hazard. But in the end I found a great house with other people from around the world. It’s close to the trains, the neighbourhood is pretty and the WiFi is included. I just need a moment to discuss the amount of available WiFi in this city. I love walking past all the places I've visited and have my phone instantly connect. It’s definitely one of those things I’ll miss.

My new hood. 

Other highlights in my life are:

Experiencing my first bit of rain. It was a light drizzle, it was humid and my hair didn’t go big.

Watching the fireworks at English Bay for the Celebration of Light. We went to watch France’s night and even managed to score free tickets to the observation deck.

The Pride Parade! Not just the parade but the build-up like the stadium being lit up in rainbow colours, Davie Street and getting free shit. People walk the parade and hand out stuff. It’s amazing. I walked away with two rainbow flags, beads, coffee, band-aids, seeds, sweets and condoms. Lots of condoms.

Discovering Michaels craft shop. If you know me, really me, you'll know how much this means.

I'm still enjoying all the coffee. I now just have the iced versions.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

An Update...

...So here are how things are in Canada. Different is not even the word. I've included some pictures of Vancouver throughout the post.

The Job Situation

So there seems to be lots of jobs available in Vancouver. Even more if you are like me and are not picky. At the moment, I am still not used to this whole not working thing and need something to keep me going. I much prefer lounging around all day if I know my bills are paid. So I have exhausted Craigslist and applied for all things my experience allows me to try out for. I also applied for minimum wage jobs as well as junior jobs and many jobs that I have no experience in but that I think I'd be great at.

Canadian employers do not think I'm that great. Or if they do, they are very subtle about it. By subtle I mean, you do not hear any feedback. I am close to 50 job applications in the two weeks I have been here, I have probably heard back from 7. And hearing back sometimes is a phone interview which is a precursor to an actual interview. Getting the actual interview is a whole other ball game. Never ever will I be unappreciative of the simple "Your application has not been successful." automated email. At least that gives me closure.

The only way I handle all of this while remaining positive (because I have literally only been here for 18 days and it's not the worst thing ever) is my years of experience dealing with boys who never get back to me. I have been on many dates with guys where I feel I show off my impressive pop culture knowledge, my amazing jokes (this one's debatable) as well as all my great wife material skills. And then after a few days I hear zilch from the boys. At first I wonder why, why, like seriously why not. I'd date the hell out of me. I have friends and gay guys who would all want a piece of this but not this guy. And then I get super mad at the boy. How dare this simple boy who isn't even that cute reject me. Does he not know how lucky he would have been to have this on his arm. I could have rocked his world. And then I use a lot of four letter words and curse the day he was born. Then I get a little sad and then I realise, screw it, I have other shit to worry about.

So at the moment, I still apply to all jobs and I only spend a few minutes thinking about how the employers are missing out on their one in a million.

The Living Situation

Oh boy, is this a tough one too. I lived in the city in Cape Town and it was everything. I grew up in the suburbs and I can tell you, I belong in a city. I like noise, I like shops and bars and I like walking places, taking cheap taxis, being around people. I don't want gardens, I don't want quiet, I don't want suburbia. I have nothing against it but I feel for a new city, I need to be in the thick of things. Sadly, Vancouver does not want me to be happy.

The places in the centre of town, Downtown, the West End, Coal Harbour, Yale Town, are available. But they cost millions of rands. False, they don't cost that much but when you are unemployed and still thinking in another currency, they seem like the unattainable dream. And the majority of rooms that are available are scary.

A big thing in Vancouver is sharing rooms. There are a lot of colleges and universities so it makes sense. Except when you are 27. Because I ain't got time for that. So that immediately crosses out all the great places in my budget. The ones at the end of my budget are also great, if they were private rooms. Another Vancouver thang is living rooms, i.e. people sleeping in living rooms. It's so common to view a great room and find out that it's actually a cordoned-off living room. Normally they're a huge space which if desperate could work. Other times it comes with weird rules like the one guy who stated no noise after 8pm. Not no cooking or no watching TV, no noise. Not even bathroom visits. There was more than one reason I declined that place.

So sadly it looks like my dreams of being in the Downtown area are being squashed. The only good news is that there is more than one happening area. This is not like new up-and-coming areas but there are other places that have noise and bars and shops and people my age that tick all of my boxes. And they're in my price range. So things are looking up.

The Other Stuff

I am obsessed with root beer. I buy lots of it.

I am in a coffee lover's dream world. Everywhere I look I am able to get a cup. It costs a lot so I save it for treats. And I get mad when they misspell my name.

Drinking costs a lot here. So when I do have a drink I savour it. I also have a new appreciation for ciders
and beers. You get a lot here and it's the cheaper option.

Canadians are still very nice.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Some Observations about Vancouver and Canada

*The people are incredibly friendly. At times I'm so caught off guard, I look around waiting for the cameras to be revealed and the big announcement I'm on a reality TV show. I get asked a lot for directions for some reason and whenever I apologise that I don't know and I'm new, the first response is always "Welcome to Canada" and all the places they are meant to be are forgotten.

*The people are extremely patriotic. There is nothing more they love than their country. Which I really like. They're not pompous and arrogant about their country, they just love it. They also tend to think everything outside of their country is bad. Not in a mean way but whenever I say I'm not used to something or this is different, the reply is "You're in Canada now." The same way you'd say to someone running away from an ax murderer, "You're in a safe place now."

*The coffee culture is massive here. I have seen every demographic, race, age and income bracket carrying a takeaway coffee cup. Even their homeless people are rocking their daily Starbucks. And I cannot blame them, there is literally a coffee shop everywhere you turn. There are even drive-thru coffee shops. Because you know how taxing it is to actually park your car and walk into the shop. That comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but actually writing made me realise how great this would on the morning drive to work.

*The job market is very different here. It's the norm for Canadian employers to take a little longer to get back to you. And I thought Cape Town was laid-back. Vancouver makes us look like Joburg. I've signed up with a few recruitment agencies but even before you get a job, you have to do these admin tests. They test your proficiency in Word, Excel, Powerpoint and email. Whatever skills you thought you had, fly out the window and you wonder "How the fuck do I type?" which was my thought constantly. They also do not always let you know your results. So you have no idea how (badly) you did.

*So. Many. Asian. Babies.

*The place is filled with beautiful people. More importantly skinny people. And I do not know how they do it. Apart from the coffee shops, there are fast food and other eateries everywhere. And they're always full. And the fast food is cheap and can fill you up for the day. As I found out on more than one occasion. I don't even need my usual order of fries on the side. But no one here looks like they are struggling with weight. I secretly hate them for it.

*You walk a lot. There are buses and trains and seabuses but still getting to them takes a bit of walking. I don't miss my car as much as I thought I would but having to plan my day takes longer. I always misjudge the distance. On the plus side, all this walking has made me a lot fitter than I have been in months. And the best bit at the end of the day, I am so tired I don't need to snack on bad food. Which is also readily available.

*This is Vancouver's public library. It has five floors. Self-checkout. A coffee shop. A gift shop. And it's free. First World Bitch!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

How To Wear It with 36 Boutiques Part 1

In conjunction with this fabulous competition I’m running over here, I’ll be compiling themed ensembles with the help of 36Boutiques. These outfit collages are all designed to be worn with the pair of heels I’m giving away in said comp.


You see these heels? These beautiful platform courts in black? Well these babies are designed for many things. They’ll make you look taller, make your calves look shapely and they’ll make you feel like a gazillion dollars. But more importantly I firmly believe they were invented to bring this outfit together. Working 9 to 5 and trying to make a living isn’t easier. But with the perfect pair of shoes, a girl can do anything.


Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Dear Future Boyfriend

Dear Future Boyfriend

As someone who is happily single I have found myself surprisingly warming up to the idea of having a significant other. I hear a lot of good things from friends and work colleagues and then there’s the pop culture influence that always weighs heavy on me. Who wouldn’t want a guy like Jim from The Office and Bruno Mars would catch a frikkin’ grenade for you. Hello, these are clearly eligible boys.

But before I actually commit to anything serious or even begin to think about sharing my life, my thoughts, my food I want the lucky (?) guy out there to be perfect. Now it’s a lot to ask but hopefully if this is my one true love they’ll understand. So Future Boyfriend, wherever you are, please adhere to the following guidelines:

*I like attention so if you have a guitar and/or a piano, please sing to me. I’d prefer in the privacy of my own home but elaborate scenes like the one in 10 Things I Hate About You could also work. If you are looking for a good song choice, Elvis Costello does one with my name in it otherwise something rocking like You Shook Me All Night Long would be totally hot. If you’re looking for songs to avoid anything by Eric Clapton because some of his songs are about another man’s wife and John Mayer ‘cause he makes sex faces when he sings them.

*If we go out for nachos and I’ve told you to order your own plate because I have a deep relationship with food, do it. If you don’t and eat off my plate I will go diva. Think about how much you like your kneecaps and how sad it will be if you guys had to part. Seriously, this relationship I have with food is for reals.

*I don’t plan on kissing you near your ears. So I won’t mind if you don’t reciprocate. This is an issue that stems from when I worked at a beauty spa and saw someone having their ears candled. It’s not a pretty process and the amount of wax that is in your ear freaks me out. So let’s avoid that area.

*Pet names can rock. I love when people call me princess, miss thang or even just skinny. You and I will need to work on our pet names. Babe is too overused and lovey gives me the chills. It would be nice to have a secret one only we’d get but with that comes the elaborate story we’d have to tell our friends and then it ruins that whole exclusivity vibe. So to make it easier on you (‘cause so far I haven’t) I’ll settle for My Girl or My Lady or even My Hot Sexy Bitch but with that last one the first two parts are uber important.

If this hasn’t scared you off Future Boyfriend, then I’ll know you’re the one.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

In the Past Two Weeks...

Things have been unusually busy in my life recently. Some of it for fabulous reasons and some for not-so-fabulous reasons. As a result my Twitter and blog have suffered. There have been many blog-worthy moments happening, just no time to actually document them. So to catch everyone up, here is what I’ve been up to:

…I’ve gone to our office year-end parties where I dressed up as an angel, stayed out till 4.30 am, kissed a boy with an accent and still woke up with no hangover.

…I’ve received an awesome hamper courtesy of NoMu. Along with Samma Designs, we entered their Aficionado pin-up competition and managed to win with our Mad Men-esque photoshoot.


…I’ve doubled my cinema visits of the past four months by going to watch The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter.

…I’ve been to two fabulous events. Including the intimate launch of Vintage Lifestyle online magazine at Starlings coffee shop in Rondebosch and the press day at Press Stick’s new Press Room. I got a preview of the autumn collections for Witchery, Sissy Boy and Sunglass Hut. I also got a media pack which included a voucher for a free massage. Much-needed after this crazy time.

…I was one of three fashion bloggers to take part in a O Magazine photo shoot along with Dimi from Style Scoop and Miss Milli. I’ll be featured in the March issue talking all about Cape Town style.

…I’ve managed to put up the Christmas tree in the flat, decorated the fireplace and bookcase with holly and hung our stockings. I even know what I’ll be contributing to my family’s Christmas lunch. But I have yet to buy one present for a friend or family member. In fact, the thought of going to the shops scares me.

…no matter how full the diary is looking or how low the bank balance is dropping, this is definitely my favourite time of year. Things I’m looking forward to are going on leave later this week, hanging out with my gay best friends at Mother City Queer Project, tanning on the beach, singing carols by candlelight and welcoming my best friend to Cape Town.

What have you guys been up to?

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things I've Realised...

…I cannot keep blaming changing room mirrors, clothes that seem to shrink in the washing machine, bad genes and random skinny bitches for the fact that I’m overweight. At some point I need to put down the cheese and admit that I don’t work out enough or eat right. It’s taken scary photos at bad angles and skinny jeans bursting at the seams to make me realize that I need to re-think my habits. Any suggestions on how to motivate myself would be gladly appreciated.

…I’m getting closer to a happier work life. I could even say I was on my way to starting my desired career. Things are changing slowly and at times they barely move but they’re looking up. I have some very exciting things to look forward to and hopefully one day I can say “I love what I do!”

…I need a financial adviser. Every month I swear I’m gonna stick to my budget and save more money. Come the middle of the month and I have to do some stealing, um shopping at my parent’s place, restrict the social gatherings and go without new pretty things in my wardrobe. What’s even worse when I panic about not having enough money I tend to spend more. In my mind, spending calms me down and makes it all okay.

…I will definitely be making new year’s resolutions next year. I plan to stop being late for everything and instead be 5 minutes early. Except for fashion events, for those I’ll be a little bit late, tis the fashionable thing to do! I also resolve to be one of those annoyingly happy people. My optimism will be so great, you’d think it can cure cancer. Hopefully it will also be contagious and make a difference and all that nonsense :)

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This is my last week at work. Start an exciting new job next week!
I believe brunch with my besties is the only way to spend a weekend.
I’m addicted to dreaming tropical holidays.
I wish I wasn’t so plagued by body issues.
It’s sucky that time has flown by so quickly.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Here it Goes Again

Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week is the start of exciting new things.
I believe no decision is the right one.
I’m addicted to English toffee frozen yoghurt, So You Think You Can Dance and nachos.
I wish I could jump ahead one month.
It’s sucky that yesterday’s gorgeous day was not spent at the beach.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Cruel Summer

Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week is going to be testing.
I believe in date nights with the gay best friends.
I’m addicted to chick-lit.
I wish my current to-do list wasn’t so daunting.
It’s sucky this had to happen.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week Don’t Stop Believin’

Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week I hope work pays my expense claim.
I believe everyone should watch Mean Girls at least once in their lifetime.
I’m addicted to Adelita's Way.
I wish thinking about the gym counts as going to the gym.
It’s sucky that it's the beginning of the month and I'm broke.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week Like it or Not: This is Who I Am

Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week holds some new experiences.
I believe my ear is going to burst.
I’m addicted to Snickers, The Beatles’ All My Loving and Liz Lemon.
I wish I didn’t feel this way about my job.
It’s sucky to fear rejection so much.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week Fight, Fight, Fight!

The Ultimate Dream Job...

Over the years my dream job as varied from Princess to Catwalk model (I came down from that cloud really fast) to Amazing Race winner to Tina Fey's best friend.

More realistically I've always wanted to write about things I love. Blogging definitely indulges, er allows me to write about things I love. Unfortunately the lack of remuneration does not make it a job per se.

Until now...Bronx Ladies Footwear has announced a faboosh competition where you could win a year of shoes for blogging.

They're searching for the ultimate female blogger who embodies the core values of the brand, namely fun, sassy and a lover of affordable fashion. Um, yes please.

The chosen one will have to blog three weekly entries for the brand covering a range of topics. And in return, a year's supply of free shoes.

If you'd like to enter, and you'd be crazy not to, head on over here for all the deets.

Good luck!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This week I'll mostly be on shoot.
I believe boys are bigger drama queens.
I'm addicted to being in a tipsy state of mine. I'm more fun that way.
I wish it was payday.
It's sucky that chocolate contains calories
Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week Dream On

Image from here.

Happiness is...

…looking at your bank balance and realizing you’re not overdrawn.

…the thought of the 30 Rock seasons 1 &2 boxsets waiting for you at home.

…spending a whole weekend relaxing with your gays and roomie.

…finding new fonts and designs to redo your blog.

…being treated to a latte by your boss.



…receiving a Marilyn Monroe canvas from your brother for no reason.

…listening to old CDs that takes you back to the first time you went to a club, had a cocktail or had a really good kiss.

…Glee!

…chicken prego rolls at lunch with your office besties.

…lying in bed with a steaming cup of milo and a good book.

…looking at Henry Cavill.


Images from here, here and here.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This week needs to fly by.
I believe my pants are getting too tight for me.
I’m addicted to ‘Here Comes the Sun’, House season 6 and spinach and feta pies.
I wish I could meet Bear from Ultimate Survival.
It’s sucky that you cannot kill some coworkers.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Man, I feel like a woman!

Image from here.