Things I'll Never Do Again: Salsa Dancing

So the last night I was “tricked” by my flatmate, fellow skinny bitch and all-round fabulous person to go salsa dancing.

Here’s the thing about me and partnered-up dancing; I cannot do it.

Seriously. I’m all awkward and I look at my feet too much and am so self-conscious, it’s not pretty to watch. Despite my foreboding that this was going to be the worst thing I’ve ever done, and I’m including the time I sang karaoke, I put on my favourite heels and a dress that would lift up when I did turns. I may be bad at choreography but I still have Dirty Dancing fantasies. And off we went.

This is how I thought I'd look. Not even close in reality.

We paid and settled in to watch the intermediate class before our beginner class. And that’s when I wanted to throw up. What we witnessed was dancing of professional skill and no one messed a step. I was assured that our class would be nothing to worry about. I nodded and started to look for emergency exits.

When we started, I admit the warm-up and basic steps were fun. I could do these. And at one point I actually managed to let go of my issues and swing my hips and look kinda like I knew what I was doing. Then we started to partner up. This is where shit got real. As I partnered with the various men (a goldmine if you’re looking for boys that can dance ladies) I realised they all had a similar problem. They were dancing with me. Some were very nice about me messing up the steps, one wasn’t. A couple were worse than me (thanks for small mercies) but then again the guy’s are doing all the hard work.

After what I consider torture, we all formed a line again and did our warm down. This was my chance to excel. And let me tell you Baby has nothing on me when it comes to turning and clapping my hands to the music.

One day. One day.

This experience has taught me many things:
1. I will may for my own humiliation.
2. Nothing can prepare you for a foreigner to shout “No!” when you get the steps wrong. Sorry dude! Didn’t realise I was in the way of your Strictly Ballroom ambitions.
3. Bad dancing cannot be solved by my usual way out of awkies situations with boys; wearing a low-cut top and lots of eye makeup.
4. This could be where a lot of the cute men are hiding. And they can move or at least want to. Major points.
5. Having a good partner can make all the difference.
6. Salsa is great cardio.
7. I’ll probably never do this again :)

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here.