Showing posts with label asian babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asian babies. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Some Observations about Vancouver and Canada

*The people are incredibly friendly. At times I'm so caught off guard, I look around waiting for the cameras to be revealed and the big announcement I'm on a reality TV show. I get asked a lot for directions for some reason and whenever I apologise that I don't know and I'm new, the first response is always "Welcome to Canada" and all the places they are meant to be are forgotten.




*The people are extremely patriotic. There is nothing more they love than their country. Which I really like. They're not pompous and arrogant about their country, they just love it. They also tend to think everything outside of their country is bad. Not in a mean way but whenever I say I'm not used to something or this is different, the reply is "You're in Canada now." The same way you'd say to someone running away from an ax murderer, "You're in a safe place now."



*The coffee culture is massive here. I have seen every demographic, race, age and income bracket carrying a takeaway coffee cup. Even their homeless people are rocking their daily Starbucks. And I cannot blame them, there is literally a coffee shop everywhere you turn. There are even drive-thru coffee shops. Because you know how taxing it is to actually park your car and walk into the shop. That comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but actually writing made me realise how great this would on the morning drive to work.



*The job market is very different here. It's the norm for Canadian employers to take a little longer to get back to you. And I thought Cape Town was laid-back. Vancouver makes us look like Joburg. I've signed up with a few recruitment agencies but even before you get a job, you have to do these admin tests. They test your proficiency in Word, Excel, Powerpoint and email. Whatever skills you thought you had, fly out the window and you wonder "How the fuck do I type?" which was my thought constantly. They also do not always let you know your results. So you have no idea how (badly) you did.

*So. Many. Asian. Babies.

*The place is filled with beautiful people. More importantly skinny people. And I do not know how they do it. Apart from the coffee shops, there are fast food and other eateries everywhere. And they're always full. And the fast food is cheap and can fill you up for the day. As I found out on more than one occasion. I don't even need my usual order of fries on the side. But no one here looks like they are struggling with weight. I secretly hate them for it.



*You walk a lot. There are buses and trains and seabuses but still getting to them takes a bit of walking. I don't miss my car as much as I thought I would but having to plan my day takes longer. I always misjudge the distance. On the plus side, all this walking has made me a lot fitter than I have been in months. And the best bit at the end of the day, I am so tired I don't need to snack on bad food. Which is also readily available.



*This is Vancouver's public library. It has five floors. Self-checkout. A coffee shop. A gift shop. And it's free. First World Bitch!



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

My Olympic Highlights

Yes the Opening Ceremony was fabulous. Yes South Africa is doing well and yes these athletics are making us feel lazy and wondering "what were we doing at that age." But let's all take a moment to celebrate the best part of the Olympics: the boys. Especially the boys who spend their time in water.

First up, this is a local. Chad Le Clos, he won gold for swimming some race but more importantly his dad has won the world's hearts. He's 20, comes from Durban and cried when the national anthem was played during the medal ceremony. I want to have his babies. Mainly because I want his dad to scream "Unbelievable" when I give birth.


This is Ryan Lochte. He has also won gold. I cannot tell you what for. I can tell you he is cute. He also seems like a bit of a douche. Not intentionally but he reminds me of those guys who hang out at Tiger Tiger with white pointy shoes, ordering Jaggy Bombs and wanting to have sex in the bathroom. Know what I mean?! Not my type but if he looked at me, can't say I'd say no.


This is Nathan Adrian. He is half-Asian, which means our children will be 1/4 Asian. As I really want a fat Asian baby of my own, I will accept this. I have spent way more time researching him than necessary and I have found out I'm a year older than him, he wants to be a doctor and he has Twilight on his iPad. I just want to say 我愛你 which is I Love You in Chinese according to Google Translate.


This is Tom Daley. He has a tendency for making me feel old. Most of the time I find pictures of his legal and totally ah-mazing body. Other times when I'm doing my Daily Daley Google I find pictures of his last Olympics outing. When he was like 14. He is a diver and has been in the news because one sick mofo has been Twitter-trolling him. Personally, he should be in the news because of his abs.


This is Louis Smith. He's a gymnast. He does cray cray things on the pommel horse. I actually watched his final so I know what tricks he did. And let me tell you, the guy has stamina. My arms get tired from just straightening my hair, he manages a whole routine with his arms. From all the pictures I've seen he seems to have a bit of Gay Face but as you know I'm a Fag Hag so all are welcome in my arms.



 Anyone else I'm missing out on? Let me know.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Images from here, here, here, here and here.