Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Fourteen



Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Now it seems a lot of girls and guys actually do this thing where they say they don’t want anything for VD; it’s a stupid day. I’m not going to lie to you. The day is over the top but I want something.

Now this is where the easy bit comes in. I am easy. Not like that unless I’ve made my way through happy hour (that will all change when I meet you baby). I like little things. I like handmade things. I like sparkly things. Basically I like presents. So the way I react to a getting a small Snickers is very similar to the way I act when  receive a trip around the world. I am all about celebrating the little things and happy moments in life. Sidebar – this quality will either be endearing when you’re struggling to find some joy or it will be crazy annoying when you want to sulk and I tell you to count your blessings. The best part is we’ll only know once we’re older. It’s an adventure!

So when you and I are celebrating all those fabulous Valentine’s Days in the future, you’ll know that all you need to do to make me happy is give me a homemade card or a single rose or a box of Snickers and I’ll be swooning. But if you ever feel like you want to up the ante on VD then I have put together a list of some great romantic gestures from pop culture. Not trying to scare you or anything but holidays and special occasions with me are gonna blow your mind. You’ll want to be prepared.

Beauty and the Beast



At this point in the movie, Beast wants to do something a little special for Belle. She’s kinda feeling him but he and his boys knows, it’s the grand gesture that really wins the girl or at the very least shows exactly how you feel. So Beast does his research and thinks about what this lady would like; and he produces a libraby for her. As a self-confessed bookworm, there is no other way to drop those panties. Nice one!

Friends

Click to Enlarge

In a flashback, we get to see the extent of how much Ross cares for Rachel. When the poor girl is stood up right before her prom, he does the gallant thing and dresses up in his dad’s suit and gets ready to take her to the prom. Now we all now, that gesture didn’t go exactly as planned and they never went to prom together. Years later though Rachel was deeply touched and much, much later, they end up together for good. Because they’re each other’s lobsters!

Pride and Prejudice


Okay so first Mr Darcy storms in all hot and shit and proposes to Elizabeth Bennet. But he seems to forget that throughout all the time him and her have spent together he’s a big old dick. He thinks she should grateful by the proposal (which in those times, she should) but his way of admitting he loves her (but trying to repress it) fucks everything up. Lately as they get to know each other properly he finds a way to save her family from ill-repute and does a very generous thing. Again, in those times, their reputation was everything. And the best bit is, he doesn’t want any recognition for it. Humble, generous and sexy; 10 points for Mr Darcy.

The Notebook



Noah is one of those great guys who has so many awesome qualities that it’s hard to single out the one. So let’s not. Let’s go through each one of these gestures and marvel at what a great beacon of inspiration he is.
1. He builds Allie her dream house in the hope she’ll come back to him.
2. He knows how much she loves to paint so he creates an artist’s room for her to spend time with her passions.
3. He’s a bird because she’s a bird.
4. When they’re old and she suffers from Alzhemier’s, he checks into the same care home and spends each day reading their story to her in the hope it’ll all come back to her for a few moments when they’re just themselves again.
Noah and Allie forever.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Images from here, here and here

Monday, June 10, 2013

Dear Future Boyfriend Part Twelve



Here’s a confession: I know us girls are crazy. I am probably one of the worst. Luckily for you I try and keep it in. Unluckily, it might all burst out in a shooting rampage one day. But back to the majority of girls…We change our minds all the time. We say one thing but we really mean another. We need you to break our codes. Yes we talk in codes. 



All these little things mean that boys try so hard to do the right thing, to impress us, to make us happy and they have it all wrong. And thanks to fairytales, romantic comedies, some of the men of Sex & the City there is so much more pressure to treat us girls well. So to help you out a bit, at least in the romance stakes, I have drawn up some simple guide to romance with some helpful hints.


Setting the Mood

Candles? They work. All the time. Girls love flattering light. Therefore a few well-placed candles are the perfect setting when you want to be romantic. Note, a few. Not shitloads. Not only is it dangerous. It will take ages to light all of them.

This just says "Hi there, nice bedroom, let me take off my pants."


Rose petals? They do not work. What a waste. Flowers are nice (see below point) but spread all over my house and on my bed? No thanks. Let me clarify that again, all over my bed. Hell no! If it’s my bed, you can bet that linen is Egyptian cotton because we are no longer students and can afford to sleep on soft sheets. As soon as you put rose petals on there, you either ruin the mood by waiting to clean it all up *or* you get busy on top of the petals. And then they stain. My sheets. My expensive sheets that you didn’t even notice are now ruined.

Bunch of Flowers

I’m not a big flower girl. I think they are lovely and receiving a big bunch at work is a sure-fire way to make the office mean girl hate you even more but they die. Quickly. And before they die, they get grotty and smell. Oh the smell. Therefore if you want to surprise me with flowers, try something different like an orchid which is classic and timeless or tulips which are not always in season. If you got me tulips I know you mean business. Or just save us both some time and just get me cupcakes. Even better a bouquet of cupcakes. 

Hello Lover!

Gifts

Most girls, I assume, love presents. And the mere fact you were thinking of us goes a long way. But there are only so many times we can fake joy at receiving a bad gift. Areas you can stay in and you will excel in:

Lingerie because sometimes you get the really sexy stuff we would never buy ourselves in case the La Senza lady judges us.
Jewellery because if it sparkles, it can stay.
Spa Vouchers because you almost always go for a package deal which includes everything or you give us a monetary value so we can get our Gellish done and not feel bad we spent over R200 for two weeks

Sadly there are so many places you can go wrong. Particularly clothes and/or jewellery. If you really, really think your lover wants a sequined boob-tube or horrible granny scarf then please re-think your purpose in life. Call her best friend or find a suave gay guy and ask them for help. We appreciate the gesture but there are some things that will not fly and this is one of them. 

THIS IS A HELL NO!

Public Displays of Love/Affection

Firstly I am not talking about necking in a club or shopping mall. I am talking about those large-scale proposal type events that guys in movies do. These have ruined me and the rest of the world’s girls into thinking that out there is a guy out there who loves us so much he will get a bunch of friends to perform a Bruno Mars song for us. Now I cannot sugar coat this. We all do want this. And we want a Youtube video out of it as well. The only compromise I can say is it doesn’t have to be a Bruno Mars song. A Jason Mraz song works just as well :)

 



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh! 

Images from here, here, here, and  here.