An Open Letter To...

…the creators of chick-flicks. You have ruined my life. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy your movies immensely, I watch them all the time and thus have a horrible romantic life.

I waste so much time looking for guys with sparkly skin or secret royal lineages in the hope that I can be the one who makes a difference in their lives, you know be “the only thing that’s real” or at least get them to go outside and strip. Shiny things make me happy.

I am probably ignoring dozens of perfectly eligible men because I’m on the lookout for boys with posh British accents who are willing to partake in sad attempts of fighting for my honour. Never mind that these same guys will cheat on me with skinny-ass tanned women or that they prefer a little something-something from ladies of the night, Hugh Grant I’m talking to you, I’m hooked.

I dance my ass off at clubs because I have come to believe many hot guys are not only sensitive souls but can also bust a move and one day we’ll end up doing choreography in a street together.

I want to wait in the rain because I’ve learnt not only will I look radiant and my mascara won’t run but that guy, the one that got away will find me and we’ll have a moment and kiss and totally ignore the fact my shirt is see-through.

You have convinced me that a kiss is a gazillion times better when it’s accompanied by a killer soundtrack. Also running into each other’s arms makes for great dramatic moments. On a side-note, have you ever tried that? It’s hard to master and if you’re out of sync, teeth bash, foreheads bump and someone lands up on the floor.

I also fear that when I do find love without an elaborate gesture I may not believe it. If there is no guy with cue cards telling me I’m perfect or a John Cusack look-a-like holding up a classic 80s song on a boombox, how will I know if it’s real. If a guy is not willing to slay an evil sea witch or go to prison ‘cause some little bitch of a sister falsely accused him of something then I’m gonna eject his ass.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Image from here.

Things I've Realised...

I just need to hear the theme song from Flashdance and all I want to do is dance.

I really like being single but, I wouldn’t mind someone telling me I’m pretty every now and again and holding my hand at the movies.

Jennifer Aniston chooses the wrong movies.

Sometimes all you need is a little faith.

Drinking in the afternoon is awesome.

I’m going to start taking more risks.

Even though I struggle to get up in the morning, I am really starting to like gym.

I miss my number one gay best friend. Come to Cape Town please!

Whenever I’m feeling sad, fat, fugly and as if I have no direction, the opening scene of The Devil Wears Prada perks me right up. I’m so gonna be one of those women when I grow up.

I never want to hear the phrase “I have a large phallus.” It was overheard in the kitchen, repeated to me and now I am disturbed.

Popcorn with salt ‘n’ vinegar flavouring: delish. Inhaling salt ‘n’ vinegar flavoring by mistake: not as delish. In fact kinda painful.

Happy Thursday!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

The Best Films of All Time Vs. The Best Chick Flicks

Blue Eyes and I decided we were going to get one of those 101 lists of movies you have to watch before you die. Then we got sidetracked and decided we'd better start small and actually start a list we can finish. The result was a list of the 50 best chick flicks. The list was on a TV show a while back but we never noted the movies. Now I have a list below and it looks like this (the Xs are the ones I've seen):

50-Sweet Home Alabama X
49-Mystic Pizza X
48-Mean Girls X
47-Bring It On X
46-10 Things I Hate About You X
45-Waiting To Exhale
44-Father Of The Bride X
43-How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days X
42-Never Been Kissed X
41-Chocolat
40-Splash
39-A League Of Their Own X
38-Moonstruck
37-The Bridges of Madison County
36-Untamed Heart
35-St. Elmo's Fire X
34-Muriel's Wedding X
33-Wedding Crashers X
32-Pretty In Pink X
31-Friend Green Tomatoes
30-Romeo & Juliet X
29-My Big Fat Greek Wedding X
28-First Wives Club X
27-Joy Luck Club
26-Notting Hill X
25-Wedding Planner X
24-Clueless X
23-Bodyguard X
22-Sixteen Candles X
21-Four Weddings & A Funeral X
20-Pride & Prejudice X
19-Working Girl
18-Love Actually X
17-My Best Friends Wedding X
16-Jerry Maguire X
15-Legally Blonde X
14-Say Anything
13-The Way We Were
12-While You Were Sleeping X
11-Bridget Jone's Diary X
10-Thelma & Louise
9-The Notebook X
8-Terms Of Endearment
7-Ghost X
6-Dirty Dancing X
5-Sleepless in Seattle
4-When Harry Met Sally
3-Steel Magnolias X
2-Pretty Woman X
1-Beaches X

That's a total of 35, I think, I did Standard Grade Maths ;).

So we don't have too many to catch up on unlike the other list where I expect a much bigger number (more on that later in the week).

How many of you seen?

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!