An Open Letter To...

…the creators of chick-flicks. You have ruined my life. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy your movies immensely, I watch them all the time and thus have a horrible romantic life.

I waste so much time looking for guys with sparkly skin or secret royal lineages in the hope that I can be the one who makes a difference in their lives, you know be “the only thing that’s real” or at least get them to go outside and strip. Shiny things make me happy.

I am probably ignoring dozens of perfectly eligible men because I’m on the lookout for boys with posh British accents who are willing to partake in sad attempts of fighting for my honour. Never mind that these same guys will cheat on me with skinny-ass tanned women or that they prefer a little something-something from ladies of the night, Hugh Grant I’m talking to you, I’m hooked.

I dance my ass off at clubs because I have come to believe many hot guys are not only sensitive souls but can also bust a move and one day we’ll end up doing choreography in a street together.

I want to wait in the rain because I’ve learnt not only will I look radiant and my mascara won’t run but that guy, the one that got away will find me and we’ll have a moment and kiss and totally ignore the fact my shirt is see-through.

You have convinced me that a kiss is a gazillion times better when it’s accompanied by a killer soundtrack. Also running into each other’s arms makes for great dramatic moments. On a side-note, have you ever tried that? It’s hard to master and if you’re out of sync, teeth bash, foreheads bump and someone lands up on the floor.

I also fear that when I do find love without an elaborate gesture I may not believe it. If there is no guy with cue cards telling me I’m perfect or a John Cusack look-a-like holding up a classic 80s song on a boombox, how will I know if it’s real. If a guy is not willing to slay an evil sea witch or go to prison ‘cause some little bitch of a sister falsely accused him of something then I’m gonna eject his ass.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Image from here.

Monday's Mantra

This week I get to watch Spain vs Portugal live!
I believe I will heal.
I’m addicted to chocolate milkshake, 90s boybands and Saturdays in Cape Town.
I wish it was Friday so I can watch Eclipse.
I’m jealous of anyone not suffering the effects of a heavy weekend.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Scatman, Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop and so on!

Mid-Week Highlights

I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It started off very slowly and then all of a sudden I was staying up late to finish it. It was totally gripping but also had a dark plot twist that I never saw coming. Wonder how Stieg Larsson thought of that. If you haven’t read it, I don’t want to ruin it. But I would recommend it, if you’re not too sensitive. It’s not graphic but it’s a bit hectic.

I’ve started planning my winter wardrobe. I’m thinking ladylike chic with an edge. I’m planning greys, blues and purples and lots of accessories like gloves, scarves, hats, and ear muffs. Also plan on getting some awesome head pieces from Mungo and Jemima.

After months of ignoring my account, I finally (re)joined Twitter. It was a bit daunting at first ‘cause I didn’t get what RT meant or how to follow people. So after a tutorial by my lovely co-worker I am now tweeting in heels. Seriously that’s my name! You can go here to follow me. Must still get a new profile and shizz but right now am just enjoying tweeting.

I’m getting super excited for the World Cup. It’s 99 days away. I’ll be going to two games so far both with lots of talent on the pitch. But the most important thing is that Blue Eyes and I will be planning our own personal welcoming committee. Mostly for all the hot foreign boys ;)

Tonight we’re going to watch Valentine’s Day. I’ve heard it’s a shameful American rip-off of Love Actually. I’ve also heard it’s really funny. All I’m saying is, McSteamy, Bradley Cooper and Jakob from Twilight in the same movie…yes please!

Hope your week is awesome!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Our Own Little Xmas Tree

I've finally gotten 'round to posting the pictures.

Here is our purple-and-silver-decorated tree.

Only one day and a bit and then Santa is coming! Tres exciting. I'm really hoping I'll find Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner under the tree. Have been hinting all year!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra - New Moon Edition

This week I will stalk the New Moon male cast.
I believe I'm too old to be perving over Taylor Lutner.
I'm addicted to Jacob Black's well-defined body.
I wish we didn't have to wait a whole year for the next movie.
I'm jealous of Bella, that ungrateful B%$&!
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week I Don't Care if Monday's Blue.

Have you guys seen the movie yet?

An Open Letter...

To the guy receptionist at the gym, I smile at you, I greet you politely, I even say thank you when you return my card after a year so why do you continue to hurt me with your inane jokes? I smiled at them the first time now even when I give you evils you continue to ruin my day with your chirps and comments which you think are funny. Did someone once laugh so much their eyes watered when you made a joke that you decided instead of giving me my locker keys you’d do a comedy routine. And if it’s purely for my benefit, please stop. I do not need another friend, particularly one who makes my ears bleed.

To Neil from So You Think You Can Dance. I had a dream about you. It was really nice. I know you didn’t win and I know it was years ago, but you were still my favourite. I liked you even more than Joshua. You’re still a hottie. And guys who can dance always rock the casbah.

To the writers of Gossip Girl, thank you. Not only for creating one of the best shows but also for the season two ending. Yeah! Also thanks for including Little J’s obsession with Twilight. Of course she’d be obsessed with Edward and Bella. Also thanks for Blair’s hilarious line to the newly-reformed Georgina statement “I gave up my old ways when I let Jesus take the wheel” – “That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice!” Also thanks for the episode into Lily’s past. Her sister is kinda weird but I loved the soundtrack. Blue Monday and Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough in one episode. You’re spoiling me.

To the person at work, I cannot believe you did that. And for money. I also buy on credit and I also need spare cash. But I would never resort to that for money. I have lost what little respect I had for you.

To my friend’s brother, when did you become so good looking. Although I only met you a short while ago, you suddenly morphed overnight. Next time I see you, I’ll try not to be so drunk and try and be the sort of girl you can imagine going to the movies and eating dim sum with. Of course without alcohol I won’t have the confidence to even talk to you but I’ll make a plan.

To the call centre staff of YDE, please do not act surprised when I list my reason for closing my account as high prices and the worst customer service. Having worked in retail for years I know that it doesn’t take a lot to put on a fake smile and make eye contact with customers. Merely greeting them when they come to the till also does wonders. I have been to three different stores and have experienced the same amount of customer service. That would be a big fat zero. You have fabulous clothes, good locations and I’m sure some of your coworkers are delightful. Yet you do not care about said customers and now you are losing them. I was told it would be a shame to lose a customer like me (i.e. willing to be ridiculous amounts for a nice dress) due to bad service. The shame is pretending this bad service does not exist. Every year you guys call me and ask me my thoughts and every year I say the same thing. Every year nothing gets done. I have paid my last installment. I have experienced my last no-talking-no-eye-contact-no-help at the hands of a stupendously dressed but rude person. And I feel great

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

New Moon Trailer

I know I'm a little delayed and lots of people have already seen it. But I've just downloaded the trailer for New Moon and I loved it. Even though Bella is seriously bugging me. Edward is still a total hottie. And Jacob is also looking mighty fine.

While I cool myself down, here's the trailer in case you haven't seen it.