News of the World of Skinny Bitches

This past weekend, the Skinny Bitches and a dozen friends ventured into the countryside for a weekend away. While some of us are more adapting to the country life, I was a teensy bit hesitant. With no city noise, no hair straighteners and having seen The Hills Have Eyes one too many times, I was no fan of the outdoors. What we got however was enough to make me even venture back. We stayed in two fabulous self-catering cottages on the Breede River smack-bang in the middle of wine country. If I still had any fears I drank them way. I have now decided spending a weekend any other way than drunk is just not fun at all. I wonder if I can become a wine-taster when I grow up.

Spending three days with four types of couples makes you think. Mostly I was thinking how fabulous it is to be single when seeing some relationships up close. Now I know an outsider can never really know what is happening in other people's relationships but jeez louise, I feel sorry for guys sometimes. Most of the bad stuff I witnessed in coupledom was coming from my female friends. I know girls can be bitches to each other but I have never realised how hard it is for a guy. I saw grown men being shouted at for drinking, having fun and wanting to start a fire. I saw girls punish their boyfriends for past discretions that should have been forgotten by now. I also saw one couple so in love they didn't have a problem all weekend (these were the gays who are now my relationship role models). But most of all I saw myself swearing off relationships. Please people, give me hope they're not all like this.

The best news, and the reason we drank so much, was that Skinny Bitches are OFFICIALLY moving out.The lease has been signed, the deposit's been paid and we're sooooo excited. Finally our dream of nearly a year has been accomplished. We'll be moving into a fabulous two bedroom flat near Kloof Street on 1st August. First come the jobs, the flat and then hopefully the boys!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This week is all about being ahead of the game.
I believe I should have gone to bed earlier last night.
I’m addicted to dreaming about our new flat.
I wish I could fast-forward this Monday.
I’m jealous of no one! Heck, we're moving out, right now who could we be jealous of?
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week I don't need to be on someone's arm to look good.

An Open Letter...

To the guy receptionist at the gym, I smile at you, I greet you politely, I even say thank you when you return my card after a year so why do you continue to hurt me with your inane jokes? I smiled at them the first time now even when I give you evils you continue to ruin my day with your chirps and comments which you think are funny. Did someone once laugh so much their eyes watered when you made a joke that you decided instead of giving me my locker keys you’d do a comedy routine. And if it’s purely for my benefit, please stop. I do not need another friend, particularly one who makes my ears bleed.

To Neil from So You Think You Can Dance. I had a dream about you. It was really nice. I know you didn’t win and I know it was years ago, but you were still my favourite. I liked you even more than Joshua. You’re still a hottie. And guys who can dance always rock the casbah.

To the writers of Gossip Girl, thank you. Not only for creating one of the best shows but also for the season two ending. Yeah! Also thanks for including Little J’s obsession with Twilight. Of course she’d be obsessed with Edward and Bella. Also thanks for Blair’s hilarious line to the newly-reformed Georgina statement “I gave up my old ways when I let Jesus take the wheel” – “That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice!” Also thanks for the episode into Lily’s past. Her sister is kinda weird but I loved the soundtrack. Blue Monday and Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough in one episode. You’re spoiling me.

To the person at work, I cannot believe you did that. And for money. I also buy on credit and I also need spare cash. But I would never resort to that for money. I have lost what little respect I had for you.

To my friend’s brother, when did you become so good looking. Although I only met you a short while ago, you suddenly morphed overnight. Next time I see you, I’ll try not to be so drunk and try and be the sort of girl you can imagine going to the movies and eating dim sum with. Of course without alcohol I won’t have the confidence to even talk to you but I’ll make a plan.

To the call centre staff of YDE, please do not act surprised when I list my reason for closing my account as high prices and the worst customer service. Having worked in retail for years I know that it doesn’t take a lot to put on a fake smile and make eye contact with customers. Merely greeting them when they come to the till also does wonders. I have been to three different stores and have experienced the same amount of customer service. That would be a big fat zero. You have fabulous clothes, good locations and I’m sure some of your coworkers are delightful. Yet you do not care about said customers and now you are losing them. I was told it would be a shame to lose a customer like me (i.e. willing to be ridiculous amounts for a nice dress) due to bad service. The shame is pretending this bad service does not exist. Every year you guys call me and ask me my thoughts and every year I say the same thing. Every year nothing gets done. I have paid my last installment. I have experienced my last no-talking-no-eye-contact-no-help at the hands of a stupendously dressed but rude person. And I feel great

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

The Best Part of The Confed Cup 2009

I have always been lucky being a girl and knowing quite a bit about football. That basically means my knowledge stretches further than the offside rule and Bend it Like Beckham but I waver on Footballer's Wives and Freddie Ljungberg's Calvin Klein adverts. So while I know who's playing in major competitions and the grounds of most of the English Premier league teams, I prefer the other aspects of the beautiful game. It's not so much as what happens on the pitch but more who's doing it.

And so I give you my Confed Cup hotties! As I'm posting this at work, and I work in an open-plan office I had to get the pictures directly off of Fifa's official site. Apparently when I google "soccer players shirtless" the boys in the office think I'm a freak. Pretending to view their club records and stats gives me some credibility. But also explains the poor photos. Clearly Fifa's photographer was not thinking when he took this picture of Fabio Cannavaro. Not that he looks bad but I think every girl's got memories of his modelling career and we'd much rather see that!

The next hottie is a Spaniard. Before I show him I just want to warn everyone my tastes differ and are not always what you'd consider conventional beauty. I mean, I had a huge thing for the lead singer of Fall Out Boy and he's no Pete Wentz. This is Fernando Llorente. His last name is Torres but due to someone being a rather famous Fernando Torres, my boy had to use his other last name. The good thing though, we can sing ABBA songs together! There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando!



The last one is someone my age which does not bode well for my lack of sanity. It means instead of just saying he's a hottie and moving on, I can imagine a world in where we're going to get together. Because of the same age group. Jeez louise, sometimes I'm so sad, I piss myself off. But here is Jonathan Spector. You may remember him from the final against Brazil. This American defender helped setup the first goal. I was so proud!



Now don't judge my taste or my lack of important information about these boys. Rather let's just get excited about the upcoming World Cup. Think about all those hotties!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

To Make You Smile

The best part about a Monday is coming into work, getting your first coffee for the day and reading other people's blogs. On the weekends I rarely login to Blogger. Most of the time I'm watching Running in Heels or reading a trashy chick-lit book. So every Monday I force myself to work, knowing that at some point I get to catch up on other people's lives and it makes it all okay.

So today I just wanted to share some of the things I found waiting for me in my reader pane.

This is something I found on Afrigator. It's so unbelievably cute and makes me smile every time I look at it. I've already forwarded it to the peeps in my life and now to the bloggers in my life...



The next one I found over at 2oceansvibe. Apparently this was a great email but I didn't receive it :(. Luckily Seth posted it under the headline, "We All Need Friends Like Caleb"

Hope this made your day a little bit happier. And if not, it's about an hour till home time.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This week is all about keeping the faith.
I believe I have a headache.
I’m addicted to hot boys in shorts, the Confed Cup rocked!
I wish we will be accepted as tenants.
I’m jealous of the WAGs. I want a hot footballer too.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week It's been a hard day's night.

Every Girl Loves a Lonely Boy

After spending the whole weekend catching up on Gossip Girl (that's season 1 and 5 epi's from 2) I had an epiphany. Ofcourse with a little help from Green Eyes. On Friday night as you know we were at Neighbourhood having a heart-to-heart about moving-out, Gossip Girl and boys (deliberate use of the word boys) and I was telling green eyes how much I really like the character of Dan (she ofcourse is 100% into Chuck) and how I think he's sexy in his own right whilst my eyes dreamily went into the back of my head. And that's when she slapped me through the face.

Okay, so not literally, but she said that the character of Dan reminds me of my ex, which kind of caught me slightly off guard. And after watching the rest of the episodes over the weekend I realised it's completely true. Sure my ex doesn't live in Brooklyn and he doesn't read literary masterpieces that I know of, but his brooding, non-conformist, and introvert character definately do relate. And that got me thinking. Every girl loves the naughty boy Chuck Bass's and the hunky Nate Archibald's of the world, but we also, deep down inside, love the lonely boy Dan Humphrey's of the world.

Lonely Boys take you by surprise. They may not be model material, eloquent in nature or in-line for a trustfund, but they certainly know how to leave a small imprint on your heart. Maybe it's because they have none of the above to help them that they squirm their way in with their humour, intelligence, listening skills and undiscovered sexuality.

I'll tell you about my own Lonely Boy sometime, but until then I'd like to know your stories about the Dan's, Chucks and Nates of your world, please do fill us in.

S.B.

P.S. I lied when I said small imprint

Final 2 Contenders in our Flat Search

We've finally found two contenders for our new home after us both seeing them and discussing our decision tipsily over Cosmo's at Neighbourhood. Those 2-for-1 cocktail specials are amazing. It's our thing. Us Skinny Bitches like to hit neighbourhood where we have a heart-to-heart coversation over cosmopolitans, nachos' and hong-kong chicken wings. I don't think we could get any happier when we're doing this. But back to the matter at hand.
YES, we've found two places and we're going to essentially apply for both on monday. We've decided on the Arnold's place as our no: 1 contender and Belaza as our no: 2. They are both pretty much the same, the only difference being the proximity to Kloof St and Long St 'our hood'. So for that reason, and that reason only, we are applying for Arnold's place. Cross your fingers please because us Skinny Bitches do not need more heartache right now.

SB

On My Mind Today...

When I was at the hairdresser the other day, I was informed that despite using my GHD religiously I had quite healthy hair. It wasn’t damaged by the heat. I boasted it was because of my heat activated fancy products. Hairdresser’s response, “That would explain your dry scalp.” Turns out I use too much product on my hair and then I don’t rinse it all out. Which leads to dry scalp and at time flakiness. But it’s not my fault. Well not entirely. I have lots of hair, it’s thicker than Serena’s on GG and after rinsing it for ten minutes, it kinda feels like it’s clean. Luckily she gave me two options to deep cleanse my hair. I could either use another fancy product which I’d need an overdraft for or I could use a kitchen remedy. Apparently a bit of baking soda (or bicarb soda) mixed with shampoo will do wonders. So I tried it and I LOVE it. Okay it was a bit weird in the beginning and it sort of fizzes but it made my hair squeaky clean.

Literally it was making a noise. I shampooed for a second time and then I added some Redken Smooth Down Butter Treat and what do you know, my hair is amazing. It’s shinier and smoother and no more flakes! I try not to advise people on products unless I’d tried them myself but this time I strongly urge you to try it if you need it. It’s a beauty and it’s super cheap!

Okay one of these days I’ll start crushing on real people. But until I get over my fear of rejection I’m perfectly happy looking at famous boys. My new guy is not everyone’s cup of tea but that’s okay. I don’t have to fight with as much people. His name is Taylor Kitsch. You may recognize him from The Covenant or the Wolverine movie. Or hopefully the guy I’m posing with on my Facebook page. Fingers crossed!

When I saw him in the Wolverine movie, for once I was not concentrating on Hugh Jackman’s abs. Being a huge fan of the cartoon series when I was younger, I was absolutely gutted when my favourite character, Gambit, did not make an appearance. It was more painful than watching Halle Berry’s performance of Storm. All she did was close her eyes and suddenly it was misty? Nonsense. So there I was, stuffing my face with salt and vinegar popcorn, nom nom nom and suddenly someone mentions the character of Remy Le Beau (it means the most handsome in French). Now as a true fan, I knew exactly who this was and I was not disappointed. He was sexy, he had stubble and he could throw a mean pack of cards. Another reason I think we’re meant to be, he was recently in South Africa to film a movie about The Bang Bang Club, a group of photographers who worked in townships during the apartheid era. See we have lots to talk about. It’s kismet.

As frequently documented on this blog, we’re going to be big girls and move out of the house. Whilst we have many of the things we require for the other rooms in terms of colour and appliances. My new bedroom has very little going on. Yes I know I’m jumping the gun, but I am a planner. So although we don’t have a place just yet, I have already started planning what I want in there. Originally I wanted to make it sexy boudoir chic but I’m so messy and tend not to make my bed so that’s out. How does a pile of clothes on the floor equal bedroom bliss. So now I’m thinking of going for some patterned wallpaper. We’re getting a huge wall in our office covered in personalized wallpaper so it’s on my brain. The sad thing about this, it probably won’t happen as many landlords don’t allow you to paint or wallpaper. I also thought about having an all-white bedroom. But again I am messy and an all-white bedroom with smudges does not have the same serene effect. I haven’t decided on anything else new at the moment but I am spending most of the work day browsing interior decorating websites. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

I Don't Like Mondays

BE WARNED: moaning and at times TMI post ahead. Am feeling pretty shitty so excuse the lack of happiness in the post.

I think it’s going to be one of those awful Mondays. You know the ones that no matter how gung ho you are, you arrive at work and it’s like the life has been drained out of you. Today’s Monday Blues have absolutely nothing to do with the grey and wet weather currently casting a shadow over Cape Town and my mood. But it’s not helping either.

The bad thing about a Monday like this is, it makes me question why I’m at my current job. I don’t have a problem with the people (well most of them anyway), or the company (it actually looks after its employees really nicely and we eat lots of cake) but I have a problem with being a receptionist when I have a degree. And it’s not an office administrator’s degree. It’s a proper, recognized bachelor’s that I earned. Most days I’m okay with this job, it pays nicely and I can go on the internet whenever I want. But on a Monday, not even watching a sneezing panda on YouTube can make up for it.

Apart from feeling sorry for myself and my Monday situation, I think I wore the wrong outfit to work today. I thought I’d rock my skinny jeans with a voluminous white shirt, you know balance it out. But then I thought the white shirt was too plain on its own. So I added a bustier-type top to wear over it. Problem was, I have not worn this bustier-type top in years and while it fits, it rides up and exposes my love handles. So I’m constantly pulling it down. And then, this is where it gets a bit personal, I wore the wrong underwear too. Instead of choosing a pair of lacey, pretty things I chose a pair of ugly, period pants that are super comfy but just degrade the entire outfit. So not only am I trying to hide my muffin top, I’m also trying to hide my knickers. I look like I’m having a spastic fit. If the people at work didn’t think I was weird before, they do now.

The only light at the end of my tunnel is a trip for a latte later. Not only do I get to leave the office but I get to surrounded by people who call me princess. You gotta love the vida guys!

UPDATE: I wrote this post around ten this morning and because I had only been at work for an hour and a half when it felt like three hours I was Ms Grumpy Gills. I am now happy to report it's Vida Time and it's only three hours till home time which means I can continue my Gossip Girl season two binge. Monday is looking better already.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!