How To Wear It with 36 Boutiques Part 1

In conjunction with this fabulous competition I’m running over here, I’ll be compiling themed ensembles with the help of 36Boutiques. These outfit collages are all designed to be worn with the pair of heels I’m giving away in said comp.


You see these heels? These beautiful platform courts in black? Well these babies are designed for many things. They’ll make you look taller, make your calves look shapely and they’ll make you feel like a gazillion dollars. But more importantly I firmly believe they were invented to bring this outfit together. Working 9 to 5 and trying to make a living isn’t easier. But with the perfect pair of shoes, a girl can do anything.


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Let's Get Some Shoes!

Ladies (and lady boys, we don’t judge over here at Skinny Bitches HQ) if you’re reading this, you either thought it was another of my disastrous experience with men posts or me lamenting my love for food yet again or maybe something to do with shoes; because between those other two subjects that’s what I’m all about. And you’d be right!

I’m very excited to announce the start of a competition with 36Boutiques. 36 what? Oh you don’t know about the oh-so-fabulous online shopping destination that offers you local and international fashion with FREE delivery and returns. Well then get on down there and educate yourself. And while you’re there, bookmark it. Because you’ll need it to enter this competition.

I have one pair of fabulous platform heels from Sissy Boy to give away courtesy of 36Boutiques. That’s right, you could be the proud of owner of these fabulous court platforms in black because every girl needs a versatile black heel *or* you can bring out your inner Kate Middleton with these nude platform heels. And they could be yours in three easy steps.


1. Choose which heel you’d like to live it up in.
2. Visit 36Boutiques and find the perfect outfit to wear with those shoes. Side-step: have a browse because there’s a great 20% off deal until the 26th of March.
3. Leave me a comment with your answer (and an email addy or blog link or Twitter handle). The more creative and stylish, the better your chance of winning.

The competition will run until Friday the 23rd of March. So if you have found yourself on the site constantly and have come up with more ensembles, then feel free to enter again. Sadly only those that reside in the beautiful Republic of SA can enter. I’ll announce the winner on Monday 26 March.

Good luck bitches!

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Yours Truly

The fabulous coffee club met again. This time at Yours Truly in Long Street. There's something so weird about being in Long Street so early in the morning. There's no noise, there are no people pub crawling, all the neon lights professing Open! Bar! Shots! are switched off and there are no scantily-clad ladies. In fact there are no ladies even doing a walk of shame. Which I did expect. It was all sort of peaceful.

Yours Truly opened up in 2010 and you'd miss it if you weren't looking for it. There is a bench outside with loads of plants and even a hatch which I assumed is for take-aways but there were loads of creative types have a sit-down. Oh that's one thing I noticed it's full of well-dressed, hipster type peeps, girls in brogues and advertising boys with arm tattoos. So very interesting to people watch.



We were helped by very friendly baristas and had some delicious Deluxe coffee. Seriously it was amazingly good. I had another latte that day and I couldn't even begin to describe the disappointment when I took a sip of the inferior stuff. They have a lovely food menu and loads of freshly baked goods my thighs would never recover from.



They open up nice and early in the week and from 09h00 on a Saturday. So go on down and get a cuppa. It's so worth it!

Yours Truly
175 Long Street
021 422 3788

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Things I'll Never Do Again: Salsa Dancing

So the last night I was “tricked” by my flatmate, fellow skinny bitch and all-round fabulous person to go salsa dancing.

Here’s the thing about me and partnered-up dancing; I cannot do it.

Seriously. I’m all awkward and I look at my feet too much and am so self-conscious, it’s not pretty to watch. Despite my foreboding that this was going to be the worst thing I’ve ever done, and I’m including the time I sang karaoke, I put on my favourite heels and a dress that would lift up when I did turns. I may be bad at choreography but I still have Dirty Dancing fantasies. And off we went.

This is how I thought I'd look. Not even close in reality.

We paid and settled in to watch the intermediate class before our beginner class. And that’s when I wanted to throw up. What we witnessed was dancing of professional skill and no one messed a step. I was assured that our class would be nothing to worry about. I nodded and started to look for emergency exits.

When we started, I admit the warm-up and basic steps were fun. I could do these. And at one point I actually managed to let go of my issues and swing my hips and look kinda like I knew what I was doing. Then we started to partner up. This is where shit got real. As I partnered with the various men (a goldmine if you’re looking for boys that can dance ladies) I realised they all had a similar problem. They were dancing with me. Some were very nice about me messing up the steps, one wasn’t. A couple were worse than me (thanks for small mercies) but then again the guy’s are doing all the hard work.

After what I consider torture, we all formed a line again and did our warm down. This was my chance to excel. And let me tell you Baby has nothing on me when it comes to turning and clapping my hands to the music.

One day. One day.

This experience has taught me many things:
1. I will may for my own humiliation.
2. Nothing can prepare you for a foreigner to shout “No!” when you get the steps wrong. Sorry dude! Didn’t realise I was in the way of your Strictly Ballroom ambitions.
3. Bad dancing cannot be solved by my usual way out of awkies situations with boys; wearing a low-cut top and lots of eye makeup.
4. This could be where a lot of the cute men are hiding. And they can move or at least want to. Major points.
5. Having a good partner can make all the difference.
6. Salsa is great cardio.
7. I’ll probably never do this again :)

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Images from here.

Gusto Cafeteria

We started out coffee club with Gusto Cafeteria in Hatfield Street, Gardens. I've driven past the place a few times but never went inside. Mostly because it always looked close. Some browsing on the interwebs and I found out it closes at 15h30 but bonus it opens at 07h00. This is the perfect time for a pre-work coffee date because you don't have to rush off if you start work at 09h00.


Gusto is in a cute little courtyard and seems to be a favourite of the business peeps who work in the same building. It's also near a yoga studio so it explains all the women in stretchy pants. They also have a fab special where you can order any coffee and muffin for 20 ronds before 09h00. Sadly I was on a diet and missed out on the fresh muffins but they looked and smelled amazing.


The coffee was delicious (and organic) but the only fault I had was that I ordered a skinny latte but they brought me a skinny flat white. Yes I know, first world problems but there is a difference. I did like that they had fat-free milk which most places don't seem to stock. 2% is probably the reason my thighs are still huge ;) They also seem to have an amazing lunch menu which is updated daily on their FB page. On Wednesdays and Saturdays they have an organic produce market if you're keen to try it out.



Gusto Cafeteria
117 Hatfield Street
Gardens
Tel: 021 461 7868

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Welcome To The Coffee Club

Out of all the things I love, coffee and Cape Town are among the best. Or Top 5; maybe Top 10 because I haven’t thought about all my boyband crushes, my GHD, 30 Rock and cheese. Let's just say I have mad love for Cape Town coffee shops.

As I discovered recently there are more and more fabulous places to get my daily fix, I thought I’d start a little club and go and visit them. So armed with my besties and a camera, we are on a mission to try out as many and as new places coffee shops as we can.

We even have our own fabulous logo designed by one of my favourite peeps in the world. He's really good and if you ever need his design help, you can check out his portfolio here.


I'll be posting the first of our adventures later this week.

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Throw Some Glitter...

How's your Monday going? As awful as mine? If so, I feel for you. And if you're looking for something to make it all better, do what I did. I listened to Kesha (gosh, never thought I'd ever say that) and threw some glitter on the problem.



Result? Happiness. 'Cause who can ever get mad when surrounded by pretty, sparkly things. Hope they brighten up your day too.

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All Is Right In The World

I went shopping. I bought cute new knickers, some jewellery, dresses at Cotton On and these shoes.


I've totally forgotten about stupid boys. And incurred some credit card debt.
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Image via SissyBoy

An Open Letter To Boys

What’s going on?

Seriously, have you guys been meeting to try and conjure up new plans and ways to be mean and cause girls confusion? I’ve long suspected there’s been a Boys Club where you discuss how sniffing a shirt is a good way to tell if it’s wearable for another couple of days or where you come up with new curse phrases to hurl at the TV while watching sport. Or where you decide to make a pact to all agree that a TV show is ah-mazing and stick to that notion despite evidence to the contrary (Two and a Half Men anyone?!).


A couple of things have happened recently to have my muttering WTF (and I don’t mean Why The Face). A little while ago a friend of mine went on date. She is one of my besties so I may be impartial to this description of her but it’s pretty accurate. She is a redhead with almost-porcelain skin and long legs and thighs that don’t touch (lucky whore). This was promptly ignored by the guy she was on a date with. Instead it was blatantly put out there that he’d prefer if she was a blonde, because you know he’s used to dating models and blonde princesses. He’s not btw, he’s just being douche. Now while you’re perfectly entitled to an opinion of that type, perhaps keeping it inside or rather just sharing it with your bros is better than over sushi.

Normally something like that would invoke a couple of four-letter words, you know, solidarity and the whole Ya-Ya-Sisterhood thing but it wasn’t as harsh as say the thing that recently happened to me. I recently met a boy and we’ve been sorta dating and having adult sleepovers for a couple of months now. Not serious unless compared to a Kardashian marriage but still more than casual fling. You’d think when it fizzled out and one of us had to make the call, it would be done in the right fashion, face-to-face. Not over Blackberry Messenger. Oh yes, not even a text that cost money. A free messaging service. And instead of being relieved that I wasn’t going to be the bad guy who had to it, I was pissed off I was not worth more than a BBM message. God help me if he had used an emoticon.

I know we’re living with a technological advanced world but surely some decorum still exists. If it had been a one-date thing I’d totally excuse the uncouth manner but this was a little more. Although not ideal, even a phone call would suffice. Or at least a delivery note attached to a box of cupcakes. Which I think is actually the best way to do it. While you’ll be sad reading the note, at least there’ll be something to cheer you up.

Being wounded I thought that was pretty harsh that was until I was told this gem.
A friend of mine was dumped by text.
On the dancefloor.
While the ex was next to her, dancing.
Boys, I can’t even.
There are no words.
Just don’t!

So Boys, next time you’re at your secret club and discussing how great 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner is, perhaps you could reconsider some of your moves.
Thanks, and we still love you.

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Happy Valentine's Day

To the lovers, the couples, the friends with benefits, the besties, the gays, the hags, the work peeps, the facebook crushes, the randoms from the clubs, the parentals, the bruthas, the sistas, the girl crushes, the bromances and those cute guys you see at a coffee shop but never have the balls to say hello to.


Enjoy it bitches!

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