Three Ways the Cosmo and Marie Claire Lingerie Show Changed My Life

Last week I was invited to attend the Cosmo and Marie Claire Lingerie Show. For someone who is dealing with weight issues and low self-esteem, this was a sure-fire way to make sure I went home and cried into some carbohydrates. Nevertheless, it’s a party and who doesn’t like parties especially when you see Skyy Vodka is sponsoring. So off I went.

The fashion show itself was amazing, the models were all gorgeous, the music and production was awesome and the free drinks were a treat. But enough about that. It was clearly fate that I showed up to this show. As I sat there surrounded by other bloggers, media and the oh-so-fabulous I watched the models traipsing down the catwalk, something happened to me that made me question my life. Not one of those horrible “when are you going to be more responsible” things I usually experience after a particularly bad hangover but more the inspiration to better my life. See below.

Witness the Fitness

Obviously when models are around you notice how beautiful they are. But as so many editorials and beauty adverts like to remind us, it’s what’s inside that counts and with the right lighting and makeup we could all shift magazine sales. But that doesn’t fly when you’re confronted with several hot bodies. There ain’t no faking that. Sometimes it’s good genes, most of the time it’s because they work hard. And oh man, does it pay off. I found myself drooling over their bodies as much as the pervy guys sitting in front of me. 

 

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This has made me firmly believe, exercise is missing from my life. I have found that when it comes to going to gym, my talent lies in finding excuses to avoid it. From I don’t have any cute workout clothes (even though I don’t believe I should ever sweat in designer clothes), to the gym is always full after work and before work and during work (I like the extent of that one) to what if this is the day the gym gets attacked by racist ninjas. Like I said this is where I am talented. But after seeing these bodies in action, I was a little more inclined to do some cardio. And maybe a bit of weight training. Also some squats and shit. Eventually this new motivation lead me to sign up – and pay – for bootcamp. Since I am super cheap and I have already given away that money, I’ll definitely be going. In 4 to 6 weeks, I’ll be parading my new body around the streets of Cape Town.

No More Granny Pants

I used to be unashamed of my love for granny pants. Anything that keeps stuff in and smooth is a winner in my book. Sadly there isn’t anything sexy about this type of underwear. Like not even a bit. It’s never in black, it’s never got lacey bits and they really look like a grandmother could rock them. Normally I wouldn’t give two shits about my knickers, especially because no one has been seeing them. Crickets in that department. But the lingerie show changed all of that. 

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 While in my seat watching the ladies strut their stuff in sexy shapewear and big pants that still looked comfortable, I was mentally going through my underwear drawer and chucking out all the cotton boy shorts, the ugly beige pairs that sit under my boobs and the magic knickers that allow me to look sleek as long as I don’t drink or eat. I thought I’d made some good mental decisions. I also decided to put the magic knickers back but on the whole I am inspired to change my knickers. After all, if I wear them, surely the boys will come.

Making An Effort

There is a saying that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. I believe this. I also am very lazy. So while I want to change and make more of an effort, the fat girl on my shoulder makes me snooze for an extra 10 to 30 minutes. This is the time I could spend curling my hair, or learning how to contour my face or finding an outfit that I haven’t messed food on.

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 It’s a truth universally acknowledged in girl world that looking good makes you feel good which makes your outlook all sparkly and happiness personified. I have had those days. I usually have those days when I work. On the weekends however I became a slob. And after two days in baggy jumper and stretchy pants, you lose all direction in life. So if anything this has made me more determined to make an effort. Look at these girls with the good hair and the glowing skin. I want to be that girl dammit.

So thanks to everyone at the Lingerie Show for their help/intervention J

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Images from Cosmo’s FB page.

Oooh La La

Last week I was very lucky to attend the media launch of some fabulous underwear brands courtesy of Brand Identity. So along with some other blogger peeps and magazine ladies (who are all so well-dressed you feel like even your best threads are potato sacks next to them) I headed to Wembley Square to see the new collections from After Eden, Elle Macpherson and Maidenform.

We were treated to some snacks and drinks and a showcase where all the new collections were shown on girls whose bodies are to die for. A show and some motivation to go back onto diet ;)

There are some very, very seksi things coming from Elle Macpherson's collection. Future Boyfriend, I'm going to need you to step in right about now with your family money 'cause these are beautiful but would destroy my savings.

 After Eden is a great brand and is actually in my budget. When you're blessed with a little more something something on top, you know not just any old bra will do your 'girls' justice. They are the business. And something to look forward to, they'll be launching their swimwear collection. They also have a loungewear and travel collection. They explained it as the comfortable alternative clothes that you'd change into when walking the dog, travelling long-distance or popping out to the shops. Basically they're fancy fat pants. And they're very pretty.

 Then there was the Maidenform stuff. Now as you'll know as a reader to this blog, I am a big fan of magic knickers or shapewear. I probably wear mine about 3 times a week.The only thing I don't love about them is that they are not the prettiest of things. They always come in granny beige and although they work wonders, they are the *last* thing you want to be wearing if there is any chance of sexy time. That is, until you've converted to Maidenform. These shapewear items are the stuff body sculpting dreams are made of. And they're so pretty!

After the showcase we were allowed to look through the collections and walked away with a fab underwear set from After Eden.

 Thanks to the lovely ladies at Brand Identity for the invite, the insights and the seksi knickers.

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All Is Right In The World

I went shopping. I bought cute new knickers, some jewellery, dresses at Cotton On and these shoes.


I've totally forgotten about stupid boys. And incurred some credit card debt.
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Image via SissyBoy

My Christmas Wishlist Part One

My Christmas Wishlist – It’s like Oprah’s Favourite Things. Except there are no freebies under your seat, no screaming middle-age women and no one shouting “You get a car! You get a car!”

Shapewear has become as important in my life as my nightly eye cream routine. And if you're over the age of 18 and have not invested in an eye cream, then we need to talk. Well you need to listen because you're about to get schooled.

Seriously though, I cannot think of a time when I didn't need my magic knickers. And I've found that it's not just girls shaped like me (with a few more bumps and curves than Kate Moss) that are wearing them. Not only do they suck everything in; they give your outfit that smooth, contoured look. The only problem I've ever had with them, they're very unattractive. Previously I thought that the special material that works so well may be the reason these knickers are so uggo. And if they're doing their job then that doesn't matter. And just pray you don't forget about them and have a Bridget Jones moment. That's what I used to think. Then I discovered Maidenform.

This range is getting rid of all preconceived notions that shapewear has to be ugly, beige and uncomfortable. Instead they're comfy, sexy and come in many styles and colours. And best news ever, they're available in South Africa. You can get some at Stuttafords or Edgars.

Happy Shopping!
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The Right Support - Competition Time

Some of us are blessed with straight hair and no spilt ends while some of us have the ability to sing; some lucky bitches, sorry, ladies out there can even claim to possess both of those attributes. I, on the other hand, can claim to have wild hair that only an industrial-sized bottle of serum and a GHD can tame and have been told on numerous occasions by the highest authorities (aka SingStar) that I am tone deaf.

Apart from that I do have one talent that I am pretty happy with. Well, maybe two. Being blessed with curves means they’re ample from my girls on top to my thighs down below. And even though they’re pretty special on their own, they still like to dress up. Which is why I was very excited to hear about this fabulous little product.


Whether you’re a lady who needs a little extra help down there or maybe you’re just looking for the best way to show ‘em off; this is the bra for you. Think of the After Eden Double Gel Bra as your new best friend. It’ll offer support when you need it, make you look good when you really need it, and most of all its er, environmentally friendly.

The Double Gel bra offers you double the support, can be worn in a multitude of ways and won’t show up underneath your t-shirt. Ding! Ding! Ding! Jackpot.

After Eden are offering one lucky reader an opportunity to win one of this magic makers.* And there are many ways you can do so.

To enter either leave a comment on this post saying why you really, really need/want one of these babies or follow After Eden on Twitter or become a fan of their Facebook page or visit their new site and tell which product you fancy. You can even do all of these just as long as you leave a comment on this post saying what you did.

*Unfortunately only peeps in SA can enter*

Good luck bitches!

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Dear Future Boyfriend, Part Three

Dear Future Boyfriend Part 3


I realize in my previous posts I have been a bit demanding and finicky. I realize I should just be grateful that my soul-mate has come into my life and all that nonsense. But I think divulging all this shit beforehand will really make our relationship withstand the distance and prevent fights about when we’re ready to have children and why you should never, ever leave the cheese container empty. But as this is a relationship and not just you adoring me for the rest of our lives, I have decided to board the ship (see what I did there?). I’m going to meet you in the middle and fill you in on the things I will and can do for you. After all if you’re willing to listen and abide to my craziness over here and here then it’s really the least I can do.

*Firstly I want to let you know I won’t moan about how much sports you watch. Granted it’s not the only thing you do. As long as there is a time where your ass isn’t on the couch with your remote in hand and you experience fresh air, I’ll be all good. I understand that watching sports with a beer in hand all day is akin to me watching Hell’s Kitchen all day in my underwear and the contents of my fridge spread out before me. We all have to unwind somehow. I won’t mind if you want me to even watch with you. I understand the offside rule, I can remember the season when Man United won the Treble and I even know that there’s a Cricket World Cup on. Also I love men who aren’t afraid to wear short shorts and I particularly love when hot men get all riled up about stuff that they swear and shout. Passion is sexy. There may be a few times when I nod off during a rugby game or surreptitiously check my blackberry during a non-league match but for the most I’ll be cheering with you.

*I’ve learnt to cook. Really, I have skills now. Before, my definition of cooking included adding bits of bacon to instant noodles and reheating frozen pies. Now I’m frigging Nigella Lawson and I have the curves to prove it. I can make you an array of dishes from risotto to home-made ravioli. I do this great herbed sweet potato mash and can make tender soy and honey chicken that’ll make you want to cry. I can even make my own pizza bases with my own home-made tomato sauce. And when we’re done with that...I’ll make dessert. Whether it’s cupcakes or cinnamon rolls or even those baby chocolate cakes that are all gooey inside for you Future Boyfriend I’ll do it all.

*I take care of the way I look. Mostly. I’m still trying to lose all my puppy fat and that weight from Christmas but I’ve started to work out again so at least we’re getting somewhere. But in all other areas I make an effort. I use Redken products for my hair which I know might sound like a foreign language or concept since a lot of boys I know seem to prefer the dreaded 2-in-1 variety of hair care. But it’s really good and costly. I always paint my nails and put on my face. Mostly out of common decency…me first thing in the morning can be quite scary so I’m doing my bit for humanity. I’ve thrown out any clothing items which may have been fad trends and I always avoid fashion that doubles as man-repellents. Most important, I’ve thrown out any graying, shapeless pair of underwear and replaced it with the sexy kind like in Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I only have one pair of fat pants.

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Feeling Hot Hot Hot!

As any skinny bitch in the making can attest, it’s what’s underneath that counts.

And when what’s underneath is lingere, you know it’ll count for a lot. I’m a firm believer that wearing the right underwear can make a difference. I’m not talking about getting the right bra size or magic knickers although they’re both very important. I’m talking about the confidence a sexy pair of knickers and bustier can bring to a girl. It makes you smile, it makes you glow and it makes you feel like you’re a keeping a very juicy secret.

Therefore when news that an ultra-sexy lingerie brand had launched in South Africa, my ears pricked up.

Baci Lingerie is a new underwear brand that has been causing a stir(ring) around the world ;) What makes it so fabulous though is that it combines sensual lingerie with affordability. So we can all look uber-sexy without our bank accounts suffering.

Even more exciting, there may be a little sexy number from the brand making its way to one of our awesome followers. So keep an eye out.

If you want to find out where to purchase or just to look at the pretty pieces, you can head over to their website.

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Beautiful Things

When you see beautiful things, there is nothing else to do but share.

I was browsing the new items pages on Net-a-Porter and found these beauties. Unfortunately after browsing I was once again wishing to be a trust fund baby. I love my family but if I found out they weren’t really blood relatives and I actually belonged to a Greek shipping heir, I would be okay. Whilst I contemplating trying to prove my inheritance, ala Anastasia, have a look at these amazing pieces. I want!

This draped jersey knit from Lounge Lovers would look amazing with a pair of wet look treggings or some skinny jeans. I wouldn't over accessorize cos the draped neck is already a key point to the outfit. I would however add a brooch or flower, just to brighten it up. Also a pair of red heels would be killer.

Being short I can never really wear thigh high boots. On me they'd basically be pants. But I can still dream. These Louboutin boots are so fabulous. I would pair them with a mini LBD and a denim jacket. This outfit is all about the boots. And apparently I'm not the only one to think so, the boots are sold out already.




How freakin' sexy is this Hervé Léger dress. With the right curves (and some magic knickers), it is sex on legs. I'm also thinking messy hair and purple eyeshadow for some reason.

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I Wish ...

… I wasn’t having an ugly day today. I know it’s still early but I almost called in fat today. It just felt like every outfit I tried on wasn’t working. And to make matters worse, my hair just looks awful too. Normally I’d just wear a hat. But there are a lot of important people coming to the office today (shareholders and stuff) and I cannot hide behind a trendy trilby. I am not a pretty girl (and I’m also not expecting rebuttals and beauty is on the inside stuff, I’ve made my peace with it!) I’m one of those girls who has to work a bit harder. So all this extra baggage is really killing my trying spirit. As I had already been through a gazillion outfits and was running ridiculously late, I decided to sport a side pony and magic knickers underneath a forgiving dress. A solution for now.

… I was more like Tina Fey. I watched Baby Mama last night and it was hilarious. Tina is my new role model. I have always loved her since Mean Girls. But last night, something else happened. I’m not afraid to admit it, I have a girl crush on Tina Fey. She’s funny, she’s smart and she makes wearing glasses look so cool. Not that I didn’t think that before. It’s just society doesn’t always look warmly towards girls with glasses. We all remember the adage Guys don’t make passes… So Tina you totally RULE!

… Prison Break didn’t end last night. Or at least that we were told it was the last episode. OMFG. Did anyone else about this. I knew this was the last season and expecting the episode to be coming. But suddenly it was all over. And I’m a big enough girl to admit I cried a bit at the end. I don’t wanna say why just case you haven’t seen the ending but jeez louise.

… I could have a chocolate milkshake sooo badly. I want the kind that come in those metal cups with ice-cream. The kind that comes with a straw and a spoon because it’s so thick. Mmmmmm, Milkshakes make you fat, milkshakes make you fat, milkshakes make you fat! Hopefully that mantra will help me through it all.

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Things That Are Bugging Me Today

Today didn't start as well as I wanted.

For a start, I woke up later than I was supposed to. Then I got to the gym much later than I had planned. And when I got there, the TVs were not displaying last night's repeat of the Ellen show but rather the Discovery channel. So at least I learnt some things while I attempted the stairmaster.

Fueled with endorphins, I got all excited to wear one of my new dresses to work today. I bought it cos it resembles Roland Mouret's Galaxy dress and it was too pretty not to buy it.


I have a problem with discipline, can you tell?! It was also a size too small for me but I was already swiping my card. Now in one of those never-happen-before moments, the item which I had always hoped I'd be able to fit into, I actually do! With the help of magic knickers of course. This was the redeeming factor for the bad start.

Then I got to work.

I work with a lot of techy people so for the fact for so many of them to notice the dress was amazing. I've gotten so many compliments. Someone even said I looked like I stepped out of The Devil Wears Prada. Result! But that wasn't the bad part.

The bad part is that Cartman who I cannot handle has now moved opposite me. For a year I was fine with no one sitting opposite me. I had people to my left and right and the Hot Mama and the Social Butterfly were always close by. Now I have to deal with his business all up in my business. He also insists on swearing constantly. Now I have no problem with swearing. In my job I have to otherwise, I'd never get through the day. But can't he just go and do it in the bathroom or in his head like a normal person? Every five minutes the most obscene language is splayed over from his desk to mine. My poor little desk figurines have even started to cover their ears. I've even hidden my YSL Touché Éclat cos no one says the C word in front of YSL.

The other guy bugging me is the one recovering from a cold. I would feel bad for him. But he has decided, "To hell with it! I'm not going to go to the bathroom to clear the phelm from my throat. I'll do it right here in the middle of the office. Where my co-workers can hear and then plot death against me." Jeez Louise! I'm so close to throwing my box of tissues at him.

The last thing bugging me today are my magic knickers. I love them. I owe many a great night to them. But damn, when they roll down and expose my work-in-progress tummy I have some issues. So unlike Coughy McCoughson over there I am going to the bathroom a lot.

But c'est la vie. At least I fit into my new dress. And in approximately 20 minutes i get to leave to meet a friend for a much-needed Vida hot chocolate.

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