Something to Make You Giggle

When I'm down or on leave or just wanna laugh so much my eyes water, I watch 30 Rock. I wish I could keep this show my little secret. It's that good. And Tina Fey is awesome.

In the second season, there's a clip of a song Tracy Jordan recorded when he had a record label. It's Werewolf Bar Mitzvah. And every time I think of it, I cannot help but giggle.

The video and lyrics are below.

Happy Wednesday Bitches!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

I was working late on my Haftarah

when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
I opened it up and to my surprise
there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
but tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan
tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
but tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Sometimes I Just Forget...

When I work out, I need to be visually stimulated. Considering I belong to a ladies-only gym and I am not a lesbian, there is not much to keep me motivated. And that's when the angels intervened and installed TVs on the cardio machines. Last night while walking (you don't need to run on a treadmill, an instructor told me), cycling and working my ass off on the stepping machine, I was blessed with CNN, Discovery, MTV and the Ellen show. And let me tell you, garnering little insights into these worlds has made me realise a couple of things:

1. Just how hot Brandon Flowers (The Killers) is.


Not that I never thought so but I'd totally forgotten. I think it was around the time they brought out that Human song. I mean honestly, "Are we human or are we dancer?". I don't have time for that nonsense. So I went on an anti-Killers campaign for awhile. Last night hearing him say, "Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones" launched me into a full-on obsession which resulting me googling how strong his marriage is and murdering Mr Brightside at top volume.

2. How strange it is to find people who do not like Lord of the Rings



Seriously, what is up with you people. I know together it's almost ten hours but it's an epic movie. Clue in the title! I'd understand if you were talking about the books. I managed to finish them but not without some effort. They also make good weapons as I found out when I had a fight with my brother. But that's a long story, he was being uncooperative whilst playing Desert Island, bring logic into the game. In short, people who cannot for a second, get out of reality and escape to a fantasy land have serious issues.

3. Girls who dress up for the gym bug me


I'm a firm believer in looking good. I don't have a lot to work with but I still make an effort. Except of course at the gym. And why should I. I work out with women. I wear stretchy pants and I go all red when I sweat. already the odds are against me. So last night as I was huffing and puffing away on the rowing machine, a princess came down to row beside me. She had on a cute pink outfit, with matching headband and sneakers. Top marks for outfit. Very Olivia Newton John, Let's Get Physical. That wasn't the reason I was judging her. The reason was right before she started to exercise she put on some lip gloss. Not of the Labello variety. More along the Juicy Tubes variety. She wasted tres expensive lip gloss that eventually she was going to sweat away. I cannot even afford Juicy Tubes and she uses it so casually. Bugging.

4. The Supreme Court in California sucks


I was on the treadmill when the verdict came in on Proposition 8. And I have to say, what the hell? Are we still seriously arguing this issue. Why does marriage have to be defined in certain terms. Shouldn't we be celebrating that two people managed to find love. Although I am single, I do dream about getting married one day. A big OTT affair where all my bridesmaids will be jealous. I cannot even imagine how sad it would be if someone took away those dreams. I think what makes it more frustrating is the fact that this is America we're talking about. This is meant to be the superpower most countries look up to and yet people have to fight for basic rights. Even South Africa, with it's history have allowed gay marriage and we've only been a democracy since 1994. Come on people, get over yourselves.

I'm off to gym again tonight, I wonder what thoughts that's going to bring!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Snow Patrol's New Video Starring Cape Town

We may not do so well with singing competitions but at least we look good.

Don't believe us?

Have a look at the new Snow Patrol video for The Planets Bend Between Us. There is a fabulous 360 shot of Table Mountain around the 1:48 mark.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Monday's Mantra

This week is all about moving out
I believe good things are coming our way
I'm addicted to rental agencies and their property search engines
I wish I could pull off ankle booties
I'm jealous of people who don't have to sit in traffic everyday
Soundtrack for the week wouldn't it be nice if we were older

IDOL's why does South Africa even bother?

Im not the biggest IDOL's fan out there, however I did manage to catch the latest South African IDOL's 2009 and while watching that I caught wind of the American IDOL's.

For South African Idol's website click here: http://www.mnet.co.za/idols/

For American Idol's website click here: http://www.americanidol.com/

Let me begin by saying that there is no comparison between the two. American IDOL's is the the bee's knee's and South African IDOL's, well they leave me slightly embarassed. I have no clue what South Africa was thinking when it (someone) thought "hey, if those American's can sing, then so can we", somehow I think someone was smoking something very strong when they made that 'executive decision'.

But American IDOL's, damm can they put on a show. And the level of talent...did I mention I fell madly in love with Adam Lambert and his voice...pity he bats for the other team otherwise I'd be in the USA by now stalking his every lyric. Needless to say I was highly disappointed when he didn't win American IDOL's 2009...what was America thinking this time round, did South African do some exporting I'm unaware of?

Please see the video below of Adam Lambert singing Madworld to fully understand my heartache for such an amazing vocalists....

Want more American Idol videos? Click here.

But alas, im sure he'll go far. I cannot say the same for our lot. We have not one, but two South African IDOL's. Not only did the cell phone networks royally mess that one up, but now the whole of South Africa is left confused as to who their IDOL is. Can we never get anything right? My advice, forget about our South African "IDOL's" and turn your concentration onto the Amrican one's. Kris Allen will have to do as the American IDOL 2009 winner, his take on Kanya West's 'Heartless' was fanstastic, see below for that one.


My heart, however, will always belong to my Freddie Mercury/Steven Tyler singing emo friend....GO ADAM...rock on!!!!

Singing loud and clear

Blue Eyes

The Looks For Winter

There is nothing I love more than dressing up. Whether I'm going to work or out to dinner or even to the movies, I need to wear an outfit. I've found putting a little effort into your clothes and accessories works wonders. I feel confident, I look put-together and people notice.

Although I'm not really a winter person I do love dressing up in winter. There are just so many more options and combinations to try out. And I get to wear my beloved boots! Nothing makes me happier.

So this winter is sorta upon us. The last couple of days of sunshine have thrown a spanner in the works but it's still nipples cold at night.

Here are the looks I'd love to work for winter:

Ankle Boots

Although I'm short and curvy and could never pull this off, I still dream about them. I love the brightly coloured boots especially. Nothing says faboosh more than hot pink booties.

Ear Muffs

I travel over 20km to work and then I walk a bit of a distance from my car to the office. My poor little ears suffer as a result. So this season I have already invested in fluffy black earmuffs from Accessorize. They're chic and keep me warm. Bonus.

Purple Coat

I'm one of those girls dying to find the perfect coat. In the perfect colour. I want something that makes a statement and that attracts. I think purple, the colour previously only reserved for royalty, will be the colour of my winter coat. Now if only I can find one that doesn't make me look like Willy Wonka.

Stockings

Probably one of the reasons I love wearing boots so much is cos I can wear stockings with them. I do have a couple of pairs of black opagues in my closet but my favourite ones are fishnets. But the small hole fishnets. I tried the larger hole variety and ended up looking a little whorish. Clearly not for me. Fishnets are so stylish and add some sex to the work day!

Jersey Dress

Flattering, comfy and chic. Everything you need from a dress. I've already got what I think will be the dress this winter. My is a blue knee-length number from Marion and Linde. I plan on working this number with a brown waist belt and brown boots. Maybe a necklace or a brooch. I want it keep it minimalist and make the focus on the dress.

This year's winter is going to be fabulous.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

License to Drill

I hate the dentist. Like seriously. I hate the dentist more than I hate Crocs, Spencer from The Hills and people who wear denim on denim.

I never ever felt this way before. Before I was blissfully unawares of the pain and agony associated with oral hygiene. Then I got a hole in my tooth a couple of years ago. It hurt like a bitch. On the plus side, I got to drink hard liquor and stay off school. Eventually I had to go to the dentist. Turns out I needed root canal. This was not good. Imagine having someone drill into gums and attack a nerve. It was enough to put me off the dentist for life.

Last month I discovered I had another hole in my tooth. It certainly didn't hurt so much so I thought I'd be a grown up and go back to the doctor for a filling on Saturday morning. What was I thinking?

Firstly the chairs didn't work properly so I was running back and forth between rooms. And then she expected me to hold this weird grey thing in my mouth for an xray. I tried but I just couldn't. I have the worst gag reflexes. I know, it sounds like I'd be a horrible girlfriend but there's other stuff I can do ;)

Eventually she had to stab me with anesthetic so I'd stop complaining. Not that it did much to numb the weirdness of the entire thing. As the chairs were having hissy fits, the dentist was working on a chair she was unfamiliar with and as a result we were in an awkward situation. To be frank, my cheek was up against her boob for the entire procedure. And it was a long procedure. Mainly because her assistant was special. Seriously it was like having Rain Man perform the suction. She is one of the girls that normally spend their days sitting down and looking confused while holding a stapler. "What does this do?"

After the awfulness of it all, my mouth was numb and I was high on that pink stuff they make you gargle with. Not even watching my illegally downloaded copy of The Tudors third season could make me feel better. Luckily a vat of wine did! It was a friend's party and I managed to drink the pain away. I don't know why more dentists aren't prescribing it.

The pain subsided until today. All of sudden I had this mind-numbing pain as I put anything into my mouth. By the way, I'm talking about food. Turns out bitch cut my palate open. And her excuse..."This has never happened before." Mmmkay. Trust me this will never happen again...cos I will not be going to the dentist again. My soulmate better be prepared for a passion gap cos I'd rather lose them than go back to Satan's niece. Unless of course, I may Hugh Jackman and he'll get me veneers. I have to look good on the red carpet.

It took me two trips to realise this important life lesson: always brush, floss, mouth wash daily. If you don't, bitch is gonna get ya!

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Things That Are Bugging Me Today

Today didn't start as well as I wanted.

For a start, I woke up later than I was supposed to. Then I got to the gym much later than I had planned. And when I got there, the TVs were not displaying last night's repeat of the Ellen show but rather the Discovery channel. So at least I learnt some things while I attempted the stairmaster.

Fueled with endorphins, I got all excited to wear one of my new dresses to work today. I bought it cos it resembles Roland Mouret's Galaxy dress and it was too pretty not to buy it.


I have a problem with discipline, can you tell?! It was also a size too small for me but I was already swiping my card. Now in one of those never-happen-before moments, the item which I had always hoped I'd be able to fit into, I actually do! With the help of magic knickers of course. This was the redeeming factor for the bad start.

Then I got to work.

I work with a lot of techy people so for the fact for so many of them to notice the dress was amazing. I've gotten so many compliments. Someone even said I looked like I stepped out of The Devil Wears Prada. Result! But that wasn't the bad part.

The bad part is that Cartman who I cannot handle has now moved opposite me. For a year I was fine with no one sitting opposite me. I had people to my left and right and the Hot Mama and the Social Butterfly were always close by. Now I have to deal with his business all up in my business. He also insists on swearing constantly. Now I have no problem with swearing. In my job I have to otherwise, I'd never get through the day. But can't he just go and do it in the bathroom or in his head like a normal person? Every five minutes the most obscene language is splayed over from his desk to mine. My poor little desk figurines have even started to cover their ears. I've even hidden my YSL Touché Éclat cos no one says the C word in front of YSL.

The other guy bugging me is the one recovering from a cold. I would feel bad for him. But he has decided, "To hell with it! I'm not going to go to the bathroom to clear the phelm from my throat. I'll do it right here in the middle of the office. Where my co-workers can hear and then plot death against me." Jeez Louise! I'm so close to throwing my box of tissues at him.

The last thing bugging me today are my magic knickers. I love them. I owe many a great night to them. But damn, when they roll down and expose my work-in-progress tummy I have some issues. So unlike Coughy McCoughson over there I am going to the bathroom a lot.

But c'est la vie. At least I fit into my new dress. And in approximately 20 minutes i get to leave to meet a friend for a much-needed Vida hot chocolate.

Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!

Wish List # 7 Flawless Skin

I have always had skin problems. Ever since I entered puberty and developed early I have had lots to juggle with. And not everything could be settled with a training bra. My goal to have acne-free skin took years to accomplish. I tried tried Oxy and Clean and Clear and Clearasil. I tried the skincare solution made out of tea. I tried the one made from carrots. I tried products made for sensitive skin and for teenage skin. No matter what I was putting on my face, nothing was working. So tried pills and tablets and almost resorted to an injection–like thing which still gives me the creeps today.

Today I have almost good skin. Which means the majority of it is clear but I am still prone to break-outs. I have a strict skincare regime which I almost-always adhere to. One thing is for sure though, I never go to bed with my make-up on.

In the quest for perfect skin, there are so many skincare products out there. I currently use Nimue which is amazing. But if money was no object I’d use these:

Crème La Mer

The miracle cream that needs no introduction. Madonna uses it. Jennifer Lopez uses it all over her body. According to the website there’s no logical explanation why it works so well. It just does. Something to do with the weird process it takes to create it. Special seaweed and lunar schedules. And if it came to it, I would rather buy a couple of tubs instead of getting a new car.

Dermalogica Thermofoliant

Like the Daily Microfoliant, which is king, is an exfoliator with a difference. Instead of mixing with water like its counterpart, this is a gel-like substance that once rubbed onto the skin heats up. Literally. I’ve tried it. On my hand to be honest but I swear it felt amazing. And my palm has never looked better! It’s part of the Age Smart range so it’s ideally for mature or prematurely ageing skin. But if you’re looking to fight the signs of ageing it’s perfect.

ComfortZone Glorious Skin Tensor

This is an absolutely amazing serum. It has been described as Botox in a bottle. Although I have never had Botox I have tried this. In minutes, after one application skin looks and feels fabulously firmer. It’s also great to put on before doing your foundation as it presents a perfect, smooth canvas. Also fabulous for preventing wrinkles.

YSL Touché Éclat

The only beauty product I can afford. And the one I buy on a regular basis. Apart from acne, I also have dark circles. And they’re heredity and not just the result of smudgy eyeliner. Touché Éclat is by far the best concealer known to man. A little dab can do wonders for the skin. I use it under my eyes, to highlight my cheeks when I’m going for a natural look and for when those damn chin spots appear. The product is so fabulous it’s even been redone for men. I'm a shade 3 btw!

New Moon Poster Leaked

Apparently the poster for New Moon, the second in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series, is so in the demand it has it own office release date. Methinks that's insane.

Nevertheless I would have totally Googled it first thing. I say would, cos Perez Hilton has already posted what is said to be the official movie poster.

Here it is below, complete with a Perez sticker!



Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!