Friday, July 31, 2009
Friday Fun
Enjoy.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
PS. have a fabulous weekend
Thursday, July 30, 2009
sometimes Karma can seriously bite you in the ass
You're probably wondering why. Lets just start off by saying that karma is a bitch, not a skinny bitch, but an oversized, kick you in the gut when your down super bitch. This is what the last two weeks have been like for me. And yes, I am allowed to feel sorry for myself.
Two weeks ago friday I was a perfectly happy chappy as I looked forward to watching Harry Potter. Yes folks, I watch Harry Potter, I love the books and i'd date that sexy wizard if I could. So I get home after the movie (note: folks are in UK at this point) and I hear this weird noise. Thinking someone was in my house I ordered my dog to go see what it was...that was useless as he was just as freaked as I was. So off I go to see what was the cause behind the noise. To cut a long story short...that noise was water running down my bedroom light and hitting my flooded room. The damm geyser burst and decided my room would be the perfect route to take whilst trying to exit the house. Needless to say I panicked. I called the gays, hung up on them, called my folks in UK-got answering machine, called the gays again and freaked out. Luckily, the gays came round and rescued me. Whoever said gay men cant do rugged manly things doesn't know what they're talking about. So with a little help from the insurance people and a spare geyser in the extension it wasn't too much of a luss - except for the 5 loads of towels I had to wash.
The second thing that kept happening was my house alarm kept going off for no apparent reason - im still to this day waiting for the technicians to come round to fix it.
Third thing that happened was that the shit hit the fan at work and I stress very easily - im a perfectionist so I hate it when things aren't as they should be. Luckily enough I have fantastic colleagues and bosses who make it all that much more bearable. Obviously I cant share with you what happened, but know it was a huge kick in the gut and currently still trying to get through it.
Fourthly, on my way to work in traffic yesterday my car decided to over-heat. I now officially hate my car (who goes by the name of TOM). So I pull over, wait for car to cool down, then turn around and head home to switch cars. Get to work everythig is okay. Then I can't find my cell phone and realise later that day it must've fell out of my bag and is in the car somewhere. Not a problem you wonder? Wrong - serious problem.
Fifthly, this is Cape Town and when you accidently leave a cell phone on your car seat, be sure you wont find it there when you get back. Damm scoundrels smashed the passenger car window and stole my phone, in broad daylight in the heart of Die Waterkant - are you kidding me?
So with all these bad things happening to me I have to wonder whether someone has cursed me or whether this is karma coming round to say 'hi'.
On the bright side - I know my threshold for disasters and my luck has to change sometime - and im hoping it starts when we move out. Yes folks, 1 day to go before our dream becomes a reality.
Wish us luck, we'll post pics as soon as we can.
B.E.
A Little Bit of Nonsense...
If you ever have a slow day at work there are two fabulous things to make it better.
1. Go out for a latte; and
2. Read other people’s blogs.
Since I’m going out for a latte later, the blog updates have definitely come in handy. I just peaked over at Mrs C’s blog and she has been posting some great stuff that I will now shamelessly steal and post as my own.
So here are my 20 questions!
1. I don’t really think I can manage _______________ today.
Another guy’s hissy fits. They’re worse than girls sometimes.
2. What did you have for breakfast this morning?
The milo cereal. Mmmmm.
3. Share some recent good news.
We are moving out. Apart from that, my skin has cleared up.
4. What was the last movie you saw? What did you think of it?
The Hangover. Hilarious and full of hotties.
5. If you had to, could you do commentary for a sporting event?
Definitely. I’d do it for a soccer game. Talking about boys in shorts, I’d be fantastic.
6. What makes you feel better when you're sick?
Lots of sleep and watching the movie Footloose whilst sipping a chocholate Steri Stumpie.
7. What do you listen to in the car?
This morning it was Keane and then some Air Supply.
8. What were the last five foods you ate?
Milo cereal, chocolate, chicken schnitzel, baked potato and sweet corn
9. Who was your first prom date?
Suppose our equivalent was the matric dance and then it was my gay best friend.
10. What was your first grade teacher's name?
Mrs Correira. She teaches my niece now.
11. How many weddings have you been in?
4 but always as a flower girl. I’d cry if I was a bridesmaid four times over.
12. Who is on your "List"?
At the moment it’s Bradley Cooper.
13. I love you more than _____________.
McDonalds Quarter Pounder with cheese Supersized.
14. Oranges or grapefruit?
Grapefruit.
15. What is the earliest memory you have of your first day of school?
I remember not crying when leaving my mom for the first day. The next day I bawled.
16. Would you ever choose money over love?
depends who’s offering the love ;)
17. Four people who e-mail me regularly:
Blue Eyes, the Gay Best Friend, Blonde Princess and the Sports Fan
18. What were your favorite books as a child?
The Magic Faraway Tree rocked.
19. Never in my life:
Will I wear tye-dye.20. Ever been given an engagement ring?
I didn’t like this question as a result of my singleness so I changed it to
20. What’s your favourite thing to sing in the shower?
And honestly it’s the soundtracks to Disney movies. I can belt out all of The Little Mermaid songs.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday's Mantra
This week is the last time I'll be stuck in traffic.
I believe August will be a super fantastic month for good things to happen.
I'm addicted to those mini frosted doughnuts mmmm
I wish I wouldn't stammer my words when intimidated.
I'm jealous of hardly anyone this week, weather is fabulous, we're moving out and I have mini frosted doughnuts!
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week Tequila Sunrise
Friday, July 24, 2009
Bon Vendredi!
What better way to celebrate Friday than by winning something. We're not giving anything away 'cause we're broke but Kim Gray is. Kim is a fabulous stylist and blogger. Check her out here. Anyhoo, she's giving away this amazing eyeshadow trio from The Body Shop. And I really want to win. But I don't mind if one of you guys do. Sharing is caring and all that nonsense.
All you have to do to enter is repost this competition on your own blog, twitter it, StumbleUpon or subscribe to the blog. Then you have to leave a comment for her. Voila! It couldn't be easier.
Good luck!
Beaucoup d'amour!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
You Learn You Live
Learn to keep my emotions in check. For some reason I can break into tears really easily. I am not particularly sensitive but I don’t like anyone attacking me. Say something about my weight, the fact I’m a pushover or that my dream career is slipping further and further away and I’ll look like a panda from crying. I need to control this. Not only because I haven’t found a good waterproof mascara yet. But also ‘cause no one likes a crybaby. And I want to be one of those strong women who doesn’t back down. I want to be the type of women Maya Angelou was talking about (And still I rise!). I’m going to start by listening to Madonna’s You’ll See while I work out. It’s one of those songs that motivates you to show everyone who told you cannot do something that one day you’ll be great.
Learn to save money. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to go and withdraw R50. It’s even worse when the machine you’re at only gives out hundreds. I shouldn’t have to live like this, particularly when I’m not a student anymore. The days of withdrawing everything in my account and leaving a measly R2.50 should be over. I do admit I have a spending problem. And a weird one at that. I tend to spend all my savings on fancy coffees during the week and sweets when I put in petrol. By the middle of the month, I cannot go out because I spent my entertainment budget on jellybeans and Fair Trade lattes. The next month is going to be a bit of a challenge. It’s the big move, there are four birthdays, Smokey Eyes comes for a visit and it’s Fashion Week. Chances I’ll have that R50 to withdraw at the end are slim. So starting in September because realistically August will be a bit of a money abortion, I’m going to start saving again. Also no more fuel-time sweets. And only lattes twice a week. I have an addiction so go slowly is how it’s going to happen.
Learn to try more. I have a huge fear of rejection so I do not try hard enough. Sometimes not at all. I’m not shy and I have faith yet nothing kills the soul like someone saying no. I’m one of those people who need validation in life, someone who needs a well done after a job. So if I do something and someone has something negative to say, I’m crushed. I wish I didn’t view failure the way I do. I wish I could throw caution to the wind and follow every whim I had. I might have my dream career, a boyfriend and complete happiness. This is one is going to be a lot harder than say not crying or saving money. I’ll definitely need a lot more Madonna songs to get to that point. But I think I may be willing to change soon enough because the only thing worse than rejection is regret.
Anything you guys need to learn?
It’s almost the weekend.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Hugs For Everyone!
This post is just to say thank you to all the fabulous readers, followers and commentators of the blog. Thank you very much for the support and interest. We appreciate it mucho! We love our little blog and the fact that people even bother to read it, let alone comment and follow it means the world to us. In other words, you make our cheeks blush and our tummies feel all funny inside.
Hugs for everyone!
Much love, SkinnyBitches
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Things For The New Flat
Packing up bits of my room made me realize how nice my new room is going to be. When I start decorating it. My budget does not allow me to start the “Make Room A Sexy and Sophisticated Place For Men To Wander Into” yet but I have already started thinking of the new things I want. Some of them are things I can afford. Others are not and are the things I can do without for awhile. So here is my new feature, Things For the New Flat. Basically it will detail things I want and things I actually need. Unfortunately I have to make a distinction. So the one thing I really want and will be getting as soon as payday comes around is heart mosaic mirror. My full-length mirror broke when I left my window open too wide and it was a really windy day. Doing my makeup in a half-length mirror while I stay with the parents, not a problem. In my new love shack, I do not think so. So I thought what better way to induce some good vibes than by presenting a heart mirror to the universal and in return they’ll send me Robert Pattinson. At some point in my life, I’m turning my bedroom into Moulin Rouge boudoir. And what better way to start than by getting this chaise lounge sofa. This is where I’ll be lounging oh-so-sexy in my dressing gown while watching Robert sleep (Yes this post is getting sadder by the minute).
If you have any suggestions as to where I can find either please let me know. Also if there is anything you think I should have in the new flat, you know what to do.
Thanks Bitches!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday's Mantra
This week I will be a victim of a burst geyser no longer
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Looking for Motivation...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
More F My Life
As I'm slipping my skinny latte and avoiding any hard work (by hard I mean anything that requires me to close my internet browser and actually concentrate on my job) I visited F My Life to make myself feel better. I'm currently suffering from oily skin 'cause of the evilness that is winter so I'm feeling sorry for myself. Here are some gems to make you feel better about yourself 'cause sharing is caring and it's the skinny bitch thing to do!
Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone.
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis."
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received.
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
The September Issue
Whenever Fashionista talked about The September Issue I scrolled down to the next post. That was until I heard it may be screened in SA. TSI is a documentary about the production of the September issue of Vogue US and more importantly it’s Editor-in-Chief, Anna Wintour. Whom I just love! The documentary sounded so amazing and I was dying to watch it but the chances of a fashion documentary being screened here are very slim. Until I did some research. Turns out The September Issue is being screened at the Durban International Film Festival. Durban is where my gay best friend lives. But my love for him nor Anna Wintour can convince me to part with my already dilapidated savings account. Then I did some extensive research, my boss was pleased, and I found out it will be screened here in SA on the regular cinema circuit. In 2011. Are you freaking kidding me? The Sex & The City sequel is coming out sooner (May 2010 for those interested). So I am asking all those with access, if you have a pirated copy I am not above borrowing it, copying it onto my computer and then watching it while wearing a couture gown. In the meantime here is the trailer. Enjoy!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Monday, July 13, 2009
I Love This City
Sunday, Little Brother ( I have two brothers, both older than me but this one is the youngest of the two) and I went to breakfast at Liquorice and Lime where I had the most amazing omelette. My craving was met! They even made it with sweet chilli sauce. I was in heaven. Inspired by Desi, I decided to make the most of the city and visited the Holocaust Centre. (By the way Desi, I was wrong, the centre is free but the R50 entry is for the Jewish Museum). I had been before when I was in high school but this time I enjoyed (if that’s the right word) it more. It was so well-presented and powerful. They had an actual prison outfit worn by a Jewish prisoner from a labour camp. I was dying to touch it. But the glass case and the security guard made it that much harder.
Afterwards my brother went back to his flat and I decided to do some window shopping in Kloof Street. If you had known about the weather in Cape Town yesterday you would have thought I was crazy. It was raining constantly not to mention freezing. As Kloof Street is my soon-to-be ‘hood, I decided to take some time and check out the place. And I absolutely loved it! I got a latte, bought some groceries, rented some more dvds and I got to show off my pink umbrella. Whilst everyone else was running for cover, I was skipping along enjoying the city. I cannot wait till this becomes a regular occurrence.
Because of my huge love for this city, I was saddened by this article by UK football journalist Louise Taylor. She’s such a meanie and says all the wrong things. Egypt deserves the World Cup ‘cause they built the pyramiads? Seriously WTF? Yes SA has flaws but we still rock. And the World Cup next year is going to be awesome! I just hope this woman doesn’t come here. But if she does she better not meet me after five cosmos. I’m not such a lady then. Like Carrie Bradshaw I am also in a relationship with my city, “And I can’t have no one talking shit about my boyfriend.”
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Monday's Mantra
This week I'm not going to cheat on my diet.
I believe in speaking English correctly (even if I don't at times).
I’m addicted to counting down the days till city living (18 to go).
I wish we were 18 days into the future.
I’m jealous of the people who were not stuck in traffic today for over an hour.
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week It's the Final Countdown.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Fashion, Fromage and Friday
I might also go out for breakfast because I have been craving an omelette like you wouldn't believe. Only problem is I really cannot make one. So I'm going to find a place that makes one with feta and bacon. Does anyone remember that episode of Dexter's Laboratory where he had to study for his French exam. Dexter decided to play a record with his French notes, unfortunately the record got stuck on the French for cheese omelette, which is omelette du fromage. Luckily for Dexter, his exam in the end only consisted of this information.
I want to share a hilarious email a friend of mine sent me the other day. Because of our shared love for omelette du fromage I'll call him Dexter. So Dexter lives in Joburg and this past weekend he went to Nelspruit. Although I have heard of it, I'm not too sure where it is in relation to Joburg. Now Dexter knows how much I love fashion and more importantly he knows how much I love fashion disasters. So when he saw a couple with mullets he had to email me.
To: Green Eyes
From: Dexter
Subject: Nelspruit Fashion
I was in Nelspruit this weekend and as a result my eyes are now permanently damaged. Mostly because I had to close my eyes so often with regards to what people were wearing. Saying that, about 90% of the women in this town were sporting D&G sunglasses. The little street vendor at the 2nd stop street when you first enter the town is very popular.
While it was high fashion at the Durban July (Skinny Bitches note - for those not from SA, fancy horse race with more attention on the clothes than the actual race) Nelspruit is like the older, overweight sister who comes from a different dad. My favourite couple had matching mullets and amazing outfits. The guy was wearing a sweater vest decorated in colourful Dobermans. I kid you not. I tried to take a picture but it came out blurry. I had to hurry before they noticed me and hypnotised me with their outfits. Unfortunately it did not come out well.
Dexter
PS. I'm pretty sure the ladies' scarf had the Thundercats on it.
Have a great weekend!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I Wish ...
… I was more like Tina Fey. I watched Baby Mama last night and it was hilarious. Tina is my new role model. I have always loved her since Mean Girls. But last night, something else happened. I’m not afraid to admit it, I have a girl crush on Tina Fey. She’s funny, she’s smart and she makes wearing glasses look so cool. Not that I didn’t think that before. It’s just society doesn’t always look warmly towards girls with glasses. We all remember the adage
… Prison Break didn’t end last night. Or at least that we were told it was the last episode. OMFG. Did anyone else about this. I knew this was the last season and expecting the episode to be coming. But suddenly it was all over. And I’m a big enough girl to admit I cried a bit at the end. I don’t wanna say why just case you haven’t seen the ending but jeez louise.
… I could have a chocolate milkshake sooo badly. I want the kind that come in those metal cups with ice-cream. The kind that comes with a straw and a spoon because it’s so thick. Mmmmmm, Milkshakes make you fat, milkshakes make you fat, milkshakes make you fat! Hopefully that mantra will help me through it all.
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Fabulous Postsecret
Skinny Bitches don't need no haters!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
News of the World of Skinny Bitches
This past weekend, the Skinny Bitches and a dozen friends ventured into the countryside for a weekend away. While some of us are more adapting to the country life, I was a teensy bit hesitant. With no city noise, no hair straighteners and having seen The Hills Have Eyes one too many times, I was no fan of the outdoors. What we got however was enough to make me even venture back. We stayed in two fabulous self-catering cottages on the Breede River smack-bang in the middle of wine country. If I still had any fears I drank them way. I have now decided spending a weekend any other way than drunk is just not fun at all. I wonder if I can become a wine-taster when I grow up.
Spending three days with four types of couples makes you think. Mostly I was thinking how fabulous it is to be single when seeing some relationships up close. Now I know an outsider can never really know what is happening in other people's relationships but jeez louise, I feel sorry for guys sometimes. Most of the bad stuff I witnessed in coupledom was coming from my female friends. I know girls can be bitches to each other but I have never realised how hard it is for a guy. I saw grown men being shouted at for drinking, having fun and wanting to start a fire. I saw girls punish their boyfriends for past discretions that should have been forgotten by now. I also saw one couple so in love they didn't have a problem all weekend (these were the gays who are now my relationship role models). But most of all I saw myself swearing off relationships. Please people, give me hope they're not all like this.
The best news, and the reason we drank so much, was that Skinny Bitches are OFFICIALLY moving out.The lease has been signed, the deposit's been paid and we're sooooo excited. Finally our dream of nearly a year has been accomplished. We'll be moving into a fabulous two bedroom flat near Kloof Street on 1st August. First come the jobs, the flat and then hopefully the boys!
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!
Monday's Mantra
I believe I should have gone to bed earlier last night.
I’m addicted to dreaming about our new flat.
I wish I could fast-forward this Monday.
I’m jealous of no one! Heck, we're moving out, right now who could we be jealous of?
Soundtrack/Mantra for the week I don't need to be on someone's arm to look good.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
An Open Letter...
To the guy receptionist at the gym, I smile at you, I greet you politely, I even say thank you when you return my card after a year so why do you continue to hurt me with your inane jokes? I smiled at them the first time now even when I give you evils you continue to ruin my day with your chirps and comments which you think are funny. Did someone once laugh so much their eyes watered when you made a joke that you decided instead of giving me my locker keys you’d do a comedy routine. And if it’s purely for my benefit, please stop. I do not need another friend, particularly one who makes my ears bleed.
To Neil from So You Think You Can Dance. I had a dream about you. It was really nice. I know you didn’t win and I know it was years ago, but you were still my favourite. I liked you even more than Joshua. You’re still a hottie. And guys who can dance always rock the casbah.
To the writers of Gossip Girl, thank you. Not only for creating one of the best shows but also for the season two ending. Yeah! Also thanks for including Little J’s obsession with Twilight. Of course she’d be obsessed with Edward and Bella. Also thanks for Blair’s hilarious line to the newly-reformed Georgina statement “I gave up my old ways when I let Jesus take the wheel” – “That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice!” Also thanks for the episode into Lily’s past. Her sister is kinda weird but I loved the soundtrack. Blue Monday and Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough in one episode. You’re spoiling me.
To the person at work, I cannot believe you did that. And for money. I also buy on credit and I also need spare cash. But I would never resort to that for money. I have lost what little respect I had for you.
To my friend’s brother, when did you become so good looking. Although I only met you a short while ago, you suddenly morphed overnight. Next time I see you, I’ll try not to be so drunk and try and be the sort of girl you can imagine going to the movies and eating dim sum with. Of course without alcohol I won’t have the confidence to even talk to you but I’ll make a plan.
To the call centre staff of YDE, please do not act surprised when I list my reason for closing my account as high prices and the worst customer service. Having worked in retail for years I know that it doesn’t take a lot to put on a fake smile and make eye contact with customers. Merely greeting them when they come to the till also does wonders. I have been to three different stores and have experienced the same amount of customer service. That would be a big fat zero. You have fabulous clothes, good locations and I’m sure some of your coworkers are delightful. Yet you do not care about said customers and now you are losing them. I was told it would be a shame to lose a customer like me (i.e. willing to be ridiculous amounts for a nice dress) due to bad service. The shame is pretending this bad service does not exist. Every year you guys call me and ask me my thoughts and every year I say the same thing. Every year nothing gets done. I have paid my last installment. I have experienced my last no-talking-no-eye-contact-no-help at the hands of a stupendously dressed but rude person. And I feel great
Ex-Oh! Ex-Oh!